15 Habits Of Couples Who Are About To Break Up

Love isn't all flowers and chocolates. A happy, healthy relationship is based on respect, communication, openness and love, and it definitely requires that both people make an effort. Sadly, lots of people have terrible relationship habits that can be pretty hard to break. You may already be aware of some mistakes that you're making. Bad habits make both people unhappy, and over time, the relationship suffer can seriously suffer as a result. They sometimes keep happening even though they cause you or your partner emotional pain. Maybe you can't quite put your finger on the problem, but you know that something is off or missing in the relationship. Something's changed… and now neither of you is as happy as you used to be. You want to be loving and supportive, but the problems continue. If you can relate to this it could mean that your relationship is about to end. Here are 15 habits of couples who are about to break up.

15 Trying To Improve Your BF

You met a guy and was instantly attracted to him. You loved his laugh and smile, and you even found their nerdy style super endearing. You liked how they were motivated to follow their dreams, and you generally thought that they were a catch… until you actually started dating. Now you hate the way that this guy dresses and you constantly try to get him to buy new clothes, to find some new dreams because you think his current ones are a total waste of time, and you generally want to change him. This behavior is super unhealthy and eventually, your boyfriend will start to feel unappreciated and unloved. There is no such thing as a perfect person, and it's definitely pretty unrealistic to expect people to change their personality and identity for you. If you are unhappy with the person that you're dating, then you need to end the relationship and find someone else (for your sake and his too).

14 Acting Jealous (And Saying It's Because You Care)

You hate the idea of your BF hanging out with a cute girl and you wish that he would never ever have a cute girl on, like his basketball team or old high school buddies. If he does spend time with someone attractive (such as a co-worker), you feel threatened pretty much ASAP. Instead of acknowledging that you feel this way because of your own insecurities, you take your negative feelings out on your guy and attempt to control their behavior. You start checking his texts and emails, and you make it clear that you totally hate the idea of him spending time with this other girl. This unhealthy behavior is controlling and manipulative. Instead of trusting your partner you assume that they will cheat on you, which also shows a lack of trust. Over time, this will only push him away and he will definitely start to realize that you are controlling, insecure and untrusting.

13 Waiting For Him To Initiate Affection

Research has found that women are more likely to believe that they need to be approached first by their partner when it comes to displays of affection, but you don't need to do that at all. If you believe this, it means that you expect your partner to constantly initiate affection and intimacy, which is definitely super unfair. And over time it will make them feel neglected and unloved. This habit can also make you feel upset and low, as you may not feel emotionally fulfilled. If you love to cuddle all the time and your partner only likes to cuddle before going to sleep, you will quickly find that you are not receiving as much affection as you would like. Don't wait for your partner to be affectionate; take control and show them some love. You may feel nervous, to begin with, but you will be happily surprised when you notice how pleased your partner is.

12 Arguing About The Same Stuff 24/7

It's pretty easy for couples in long-term relationships to become wrapped up in the same arguments. You may be able to predict exactly how your boyfriend will let you down. Maybe you will ask them to take the garbage out while you are at work, knowing that he's going to totally forget. As you walk through your apartment door in the evening, you have a sinking feeling in your stomach which quickly turns to upset and anger when you see the still-overflowing garbage bin. Break the routine of fighting and complaining by sitting down and coming up with a plan to combat the problem. Let your partner explain how they feel, and make sure that you actually listen to (and respect) their response. Then you can come up with a solution; maybe you will take out the bins, and your partner will do the washing up. However, be prepared to compromise yourself if your partner brings up some of your habits that annoy them!

11 Blaming Him For Your Emotions

You've had a long, super tough day at work. Your boss insulted an idea that you spent weeks working on, the traffic was terrible so it took you two hours to get home, and you're just in a really bad mood. You walk through the door and want your boyfriend to give you a hug and make you feel better. But he's not as supportive as you want him to be. He's halfway through cooking dinner, and if he stops, the food will burn. Sure, he feels bad about your difficult day, but he's off to have a drink with his best friend and he can't bail last minute. If you get angry with him for being unsupportive and insensitive, you being super unfair and selfish. You are assuming that your partner is responsible for your emotions at all times, but the truth is that they're definitely not. It is not their responsibility to make you feel better, and they don't have to prioritize your emotions over their own.

10 Holding Grudges

Holding grudges is common in unhealthy relationships. Remember that if your boyfriend hurts you, you have a choice: forgive him and stay with him or end the relationship and leave. Lots of people don't realize this and they choose to stay with their partner without fully forgiving them for their past mistakes. This is unfair on the other person as they cannot change the past. Realize that people make mistakes, and they shouldn't be punished endlessly for their mistakes. If you can't forgive your partner for their past behavior, you need to sit down and ask yourself if you actually want to be with them. Your relationship will continue to cause stress and anxiety if you don't forgive them, and over time this will cause resentment, dislike, and a messy break-up. This is unfair on both you and your partner, and it can leave you both with long-term trust issues.

9 Being Melodramatic All The Time

We live inside our own heads most of the time, and sometimes that means that we can become too focused on our own needs, problems, and grievances. Some people are guilty of constantly being super melodramatic when it isn't necessary, and this can quickly ruin a relationship. Maybe your boyfriend forgot to do the washing up or they didn't head to the grocery store like they said they would because they got caught up with other stuff. As soon as you find out, your first thought is yourself and how you've been let down. You don't take any time to think about your partner's day, or why they weren't able to do it… and you start raising your voice and being melodramatic. This creates unnecessary drama in your relationship, and it means that you will have full-blown fights about small issues that aren't really that important. It also means that your partner will think that you often overreact to things, so they will be dismissive of you when you are genuinely upset.

8 Spending Too Much Time On Your Phones When You Are Together

Texting and messaging your partner when you're apart is definitely a great way for you to stay connected to each other, but if you spend more time looking at your phone screen than your partner when you are together, well, a break up may be on the horizon. If you can't get through a meal, conversation or film with your boyfriend without checking your phone, it indicates that there is a deeper issue in the relationship. Maybe you struggle to communicate with each other, or maybe you don't enjoy each other's company as much as you used to. Sit down with your partner and talk about the issue to get to the bottom of it - and make a concentrated effort to keep your phone out of sight when you are spending quality time together. Checking it is fine, of course. But if you spend more than 10 minutes on your phone without talking to your partner, you're not really hanging out together anymore.

7 Trying To Avoid Fighting

Some people really hate the idea of fighting with their boyfriend as they associate fighting with the end of a relationship. If their guy annoys or upsets them, they bite their tongue and don't say anything, as they assume that this is the normal, healthy thing to do. This behavior isn't healthy at all, and it can be one of the main reasons why relationships end. Relationships aren't supposed to be happy all the time, as you are two different people with different thoughts and opinions. Sometimes you will clash and that is totally fine. Arguments are a healthy, normal part of relationships, and trying not to argue will only cause you emotional pain. If something your partner does bothers you, don't keep feelings of sadness or anger inside. Express them so your partner knows how you feel, and then try to work through the problems together, as a team.

6 Threatening To End The Relationship

This manipulative and controlling behavior is sadly very common in relationships. It happens when one person has an issue with the other person's actions or behavior, and instead of saying that they attempt to blackmail the other person by threatening to terminate the relationship. Instead of saying “You hurt my feelings yesterday when you wouldn't do the washing up”, they say “I don't know if I can be in a relationship with someone who is so lazy and selfish.” This toxic behavior is emotional blackmail, and it turns small disagreements into huge fights. By suggesting that you want to break up, you create a divide between you and your partner and one that you expect your partner to fix without any help from you. It can also cause the relationship to end if you make these threats regularly. Over time your partner will start to think that you are not fully happy with them as you constantly talk about breaking up, so they might just end the relationship for you!

5 Expecting The Other Person To Know How You Feel

When you first start dating someone, it is super unlikely that you would assume that they know exactly how you feel. But lots of people do this in long-term relationships. If your partner upsets you, you may be tempted to give them the silent treatment until they figure out what is wrong with you. After all, they've known you for months (or years), so shouldn't they be able to figure out your feelings? The short answer is no. You and your partner are different people who react in different ways to the same thing. Your BF can't read your mind or predict your feelings, so you must take the time to explain how you feel when an issue arises. Focus on explaining your emotions, rather than blaming your partner, and try to make sure that the conversation is still positive and loving. This way you will both feel happy and emotionally satisfied after the conversation.

4 Keeping Score Of Everything

One of the worst things that you can do in a long-term relationship is keep score of every little mistake that has ever happened. Some people can't help but to keep track of small things (“I paid for the last two pizza orders, so now it's your turn!"), and this can create unnecessary drama and tension. If you bring up a genuine problem with your partner, and instead of addressing that they start getting angry about something that happened two years ago, you will never be able to resolve any issues. Both of you will feel angry and mistreated, and over time you will waste more and more energy on trying to prove that the other person is the worse person. If you focus on trying to prove that your partner is in the wrong, it is very likely that you will break soon as your relationship is focused on negativity.

3 Finding Faults With Their Family

It's pretty much super logical that you would rather hang out with your boyfriend than with his parents. After all, one is the love of your life! But of course, it's still super important to make an effort with your partner's family. They are a significant part of your partner's life, and if you are unwilling to get along with them it is more likely that you will be cut out than them! Despite this, some people can't help but to find faults with their partner's family. Maybe you believe that they coddle their child too much, or maybe you think that their opinions are out-dated and old fashioned. Even if you feel this way it is important not to judge them or pick at them, as you are creating stress and worry for your partner. You and the family are both important parts of your partner's life, and if you are unwilling to get along with them you may upset your partner.

2 Taking Your BF For Granted

After months of being with the same person, it can be easy to start taking them for granted. Sometimes taking your guy for granted can be a good thing, as it means that you are comfortable with each other and you finally feel like you can rely on the relationship. You know that your partner will deal with you on bad days as well as good days, which is nice - but it can become a problem if you take advantage of their love. You assume that they will always be there for you so you stop making an effort with them. Perhaps you watch a lot of TV but you rarely talk to each other, or you rarely do so-called special things like cooking for each other or going out together. You stop saying please and thank you to each other, and over time your partner starts to feel unappreciated and unloved. And before you know it, the relationship is over.

1 Any Passive Aggressive Behavior

Passive aggressive behavior is extremely common in unhealthy relationships, and normally it happens if one person is unwilling to express their emotions. Instead of expressing their thoughts and desires, they try to encourage the other person to figure it out themself. Maybe they make nasty, petty comments that they feel are justified, but when the other person tries to discuss the issue they are dismissive or rude. Over time this can leave one person feeling confused, unhappy and resentful. If you notice this in your relationship, try to make an effort to express your feelings and desires openly, and encourage your partner to do the same. Take the time to make it clear that the other person isn't responsible for your emotions, but you'd appreciate their support. Most people want to make their partner happy, so if you are clear about your feelings any issues will probably get resolved ASAP.