Why Do Men Cheat? The 3 Biggest Reasons & 27 Convincing Excuses
What makes a man a cheat? There are three big reasons for that. And why do men cheat on women? These 27 reasons will help you figure the truth out!
If you're wondering who do men cheat, the truth is, as much as I hate to admit it, men do have a natural instinct to stray.
If they think they can get away with cheating, they cheat.
It's what their mind tells them to do, even if their conscience tells them otherwise.
A man of principles though, a man who has integrity, may hold himself back even when the opportunity arises.
But he holds himself back, not because he doesn't like the thought of having another woman, he holds himself back only because of his integrity.
But truth be told, it IS very hard to avoid cheating, especially if no one would ever get to know the truth!
Why do men cheat and what's love got to do with it?
It's been said time and again that one would never cheat if they're truly in love with someone.
But is that really true?
If you think about it, you don't cheat because you're emotionally carried away in the heat of the moment.
If that moment of lusty temptation does occur, it's a painful but forgivable accident that lasts for a few passionate seconds.
But if one chooses to cheat or have sex on a one night stand, it's because they consciously and deliberately decide to have an affair or a onetime fling, and logically plan every step to ensure that they don't get caught with their boxers around their ankles.
Cheating is a lot of work that's just not worth the squeeze
Seriously, any guy or girl who's ever cheated would know this, cheating is just not easy, especially if you're living in a society like ours where cheating is considered taboo.
It takes a lot of planning, a lot of covering up *faking expenses, faking work hours and faking weekend escapes and a lot more!* just to enjoy an hour or so of sexual pleasure that turns to guilt as soon as you orgasm and reach for the skies. [Reader confession: I cheated on my boyfriend and feel so much better!]
So when a guy makes the effort to cheat, it surely means there's something wrong somewhere else. The cause could be a failing relationship or a mind that's addicted to the thrill of straying.
Or worse, it could mean that he's so smitten by another woman that he doesn't care about his own lover who loves him and cares for him, and he's willing to throw it all away for someone else.
Cheating's in our genes
Every man and woman in a relationship has the ability to cheat and destroy a relationship if they choose to. We're all serial breeders who toy with the idea of having several sexual partners in a lifetime, but the rules of society have altered our minds to accept cheating as a moral aberration in our conscience, and forced us to think of it only as a sexual fantasy.
But unless you have no moral conscience whatsoever, guilt inevitably enters the picture when you cheat on a lover. And you can't ever look at your lover the way you once did.
The three big reasons why men cheat
Men who are in stable and comfortable relationships want to cheat for three primary reasons.
#1 There's not enough happiness in his life. The man who wants to cheat thinks he's too good for the woman he's with *he thinks he can get another girl who's better than his own woman*.
#2 He contemplates cheating if his ego is bruised *his woman doesn't respect him, doesn't think highly of him, doesn't need him emotionally or sexually, or his pride hurts because of her behavior*.
#3 The third reason why men want to cheat completes the rest of the list. Men want to cheat because they assume they can get away with it without getting caught. [Quiz: Would you ever cheat on your lover? P.S. This quiz won't lie!]
The longevity and happiness of a relationship balances on a thin thread of equality and inequality. But if one partners feels like they're not getting enough out of the relationship, or if the other partner feels like they're giving more than they're receiving, the relationship may change course towards the inevitable end or lead one partner to the lusty and cowardly road of affairs and one night stands.
Do all men fantasize about cheating?
A man may not necessarily fantasize about cheating, but he may very well fantasize about being with another woman he finds exciting or attractive. There's nothing wrong with fantasizing because all of us do it anyway. But it's one thing to fantasize about cheating, and a completely different one to plot it and carry it off successfully with a lot of planning and determination.
Men who cheat, even on a one night stand, have almost always thought about it or fantasized about it in their head, and have an excuse for it the next morning. Unless you think it in your mind, you can't do it, however suddenly it happens.
If an unplanned scenario crops up all of a sudden, most of us freeze after a kiss. We don't unbuckle our pants unless we've played the fantasy in some form in our heads before. There are exceptions here, but that doesn't happen too often.
27 reasons why men cheat on women
The reasons behind the desire to cheat may be a few, but there are several reasons why a man may actually end up having an affair with another woman. Here are 27 reasons that could lead a man to stray into another woman's arms.
Of course, as a woman, you can't fix all the reasons behind a man's cheating streak. But if you give a second thought about these reasons, you'd see that almost always, a man cheats when the relationship is going downhill for both of you.
So what you do here is a decision you need to take. And sometimes, it's easier to just walk away from a cheater instead of trying to change yourself and become someone else, just to hold on to a man who's waiting to leave you and walk into another woman's arms, time and again.
#1 Your respect. A man may cheat when he believes that he's not getting the respect he deserves from his woman. For a relationship to succeed, a man needs respect from his woman and a woman needs unconditional love from a man. If the woman doesn't respect him, he'll fall for someone who respects him.
#2 Respect for the relationship. He doesn't respect the relationship he's in, nor does he value it enough to avoid straying. If a man truly cares about his relationship the way he cares about his own life, he'd avoid doing anything that may jeopardize it.
#3 Problems in the relationship. Do you and your man argue often? When arguments crop up all the time with no conclusive happy endings to the fight, it may leave both of you frustrated.
#4 Frustrations. A man who's frustrated in life for any reason at all could jump into another woman's arms just to convince himself that he's still awesome and can get what he desires.
#5 Bad communication. Not all men are good communicators. For many men who have a hard time communicating with their lover, it's easier to just walk away and look for comfort elsewhere instead of trying to fix things with their own partner.
#6 Not enough space. As much as couples need together time, they also need space. If a guy feels claustrophobic in love, he'll pounce at a flirty girl at the very first opportunity he gets just to experience the freedom of singledom, even if it lasts just for a few hours.
#7 To get back at his woman. Sometimes, even if it's the dumbest thing to do, a man will use revenge sex to get back at his wife or girlfriend for something she's done.
#8 The relationship is losing its excitement. You may be in love, but unless there's something exciting and new all the time, the relationship starts to feel like a burden. The guy may want more excitement in his life.
#9 Different sexual appetites. This is more common than you may think. All of us have varying sexual appetites. And if a guy wants to have sex a few times a week while his girl just likes having sex once a month, it's definitely not going to end well for either of them.
#10 The boredom of doing nothing new. All of us crave excitement all the time. It's what keeps us going with every new day. If a relationship starts to stagnate or gets monotonous, there's a good chance that your man may look beyond your shoulders to spice up his own life.
#11 There's too much control over him. Are you a control freak who loves having everything under control? Does your man usually do whatever you suggest? Does he back away from any conflict with you? He may go looking for an affair just to see his balls swell up with manliness again.
#12 They don't think the relationship will last. This is something we see in younger relationships. A guy usually has a backup girlfriend in mind just in case things don't work out between the both of you, even if he tells no one else about it. It's usually a friend who's attractive and rather friendly. And at times, this backup girl may just end up taking your place in between the sheets.
#13 You've changed *physically*. Now this is wrong to voice out openly, but it's a harsh reality we've all come to see around us. Have you let yourself go ever since both of you started dating? Does he have to roll over you twice now before he has to get off you after sex? Look sexy and feel sexy, and he'll avoid straying away from you.
#14 He wants more love. Sometimes, a man's heart wants all the love it can handle. And that may happen to include more than the love of just one woman. If he's a romantic casanova, he may try to woo women all the time, just to feel good about all the love he experiences in the world.
#15 He doesn't want to be wholly dependent on you. A lot of guys have the fear of commitment. And just when they feel like they're falling deeply in love, they pull back and close up. Or they have an affair just to convince themselves that they're not entirely dependent on you for their happiness!
#16 They want variety. A total cliché but a true one, variety is the spice of life. All of us want new experiences all the time, but some selfish and immature men take this adage one step too far and start looking at other women as wooing potentials, not because they're unhappy in love, but because they want more variety in their bed!
#17 He wants a new experience. A guy may be the most loyal of lovers, and he may be the perfect boyfriend or husband. But at times, for no reason at all, he may start pursuing a new girl just to remember how the thrill of the chase feels like. If both of you start to feel bored in the relationship, it's only a matter of time before one of you start straying just to make life feel more exciting.
#18 Some men are hardwired to cheat. It's who they are. And there's nothing you can do to change them. It could be a deep rooted psychological issue, or perhaps they just don't care about relationships.
#19 Sexual deviants. If your guy asks you to go down on him, do you push him away and say something like “that's something only porn stars do!”? It could be as simple as a blowjob or it could be more deviant like bondage or golden rivers. If a man craves for something he's too ashamed to ask or something you don't ever want to offer, his sexual desires may force him to go looking for someone else.
#20 To connect with a person who understands him. There can be happiness in a marriage or a relationship only when there's communication in a relationship. If your man feels like you just don't understand him anymore, he may find himself getting attached to someone else who listens to him.
#21 There are too many options out there. Men who are too lazy to try to fix a problem in a relationship just walk into another woman's arms. Don't try to change these selfish men. You'll only end up getting hurt because all they care about is their own happiness, and not the relationship.
#22 Lack in sexual chemistry. Sexual chemistry matters. A lot! Many people assume love is all you need to keep a relationship or a marriage alive, but that's nonsense. A happy relationships needs romance and a sizzling sex life. If a man's stuck in a relationship with no sexual chemistry, he'll start fantasizing about another woman who gives him a hard on every time she flirtily touches him!
#23 You're boring. Are you a prude who doesn't like discussing sex? Or are you a homely woman who loves her solitude? If your man has an active lifestyle and you don't share an interest in socializing or having fun outside the house, he may start to find you too boring to stay in love with.
#24 He's got the power! Everyone thinks he's a hero because so awesome and he's such an achiever, but you think he's still the same geeky guy you met in college. You don't see him for the awesome man that he and everyone else think he is. And that hurts him, and makes him want to sleep with a woman who believes he's the God of Awesomeness!
#25 You accuse him of cheating. Do you constantly accuse your man of cheating just so he can reassure you and convince you of his love for you? Or do you pick a fight with him often because he spends too much time at work with that sexy minx of a colleague of his? Don't ever let your insecurity get the better of you unless you have conclusive proof, or you'd just end up forcing him into an affair because he thinks you don't trust him anyway.
#26 A girl is crazy about him. Men are the protectors of the human species. Well, that's what they think anyway. So when a really attractive girl falls for a guy and pleads with him to date her or bed her, a man's macho heart may soften and get mushy, and he may even share a few kisses or cuddles in bed just to make her feel better. Call it pity cheating or flattery sex, but this usually works with powerful men who like having their egos stroked every now and then.
#27 He awed by another girl. And you don't want to hear anything about it. A relationships blooms as long as there's good communication in the relationship. Speak out to each other about your crushes and flirty conversations with other people, explore your deepest, darkest thoughts together, and voice your opinions however silly or dirty it may seem.
Sometimes, your man may like the attention a girl in his office gives him. But he's too scared to talk about it with you because he assumes you'd be pissed to hear about it. And that makes the conversation taboo. And what's taboo always makes it more exciting and thrilling. And what starts off as simple flirty glances at work could end in an affair. All because he couldn't talk to you about it, and the secret thoughts turned into intense sexual attraction.
The difference between men who cheat and women who cheat
Men and women cheat for almost the same reasons. But without the risk of stereotyping this, I'd say that men cheat more for sexual pleasure and sexual experiences while women cheat more for emotional attachment. There may be exceptions to a cliché, but more often than not, this is how it works in a long term relationship.
Sometimes, there's really not much you can do if your man cheats on you or makes you feel insecure. But affairs and insecurities can be avoided by a long way as long as there's excellent communication in a relationship, deep trust in each other, and a sizzling sexual chemistry.
Really, if you're so awesome that you're more woman than your man could ever want or need, why would he ever dream of cheating on you unless he's a selfish prick? Think about it.
So why do men want to cheat? Well, for the three big reasons I've mentioned here. And why do men cheat? These 27 reasons and excuses explain it all. Now all you need to do is be awesome, and you won't have a thing to worry about because the world will be your oyster and your man, your bitch!