15 Reasons Girls Are Attracted To Their BFF's Ex

We've all seen it in our own backyard as well as with celebs: girls being attracted to their best friend's ex-boyfriend -- and worse, actually doing something about it! There are some women who are totally against dating a best friend's ex. They consider it a downright betrayal of the friendship and even of women in general. After all, sometimes we're so close with our BFFs, we're basically sisters. Plus it seems kind of gross to date our friend's ex since we probably thought of him as a brotherly type. But girls still date their best friend's exes and it's a pretty controversial thing. Some people are just not comfortable doing it and will judge those they know who do. Some will totally cheer them on. Others will rip them apart. It totally depends on whether we can live with ourselves either way. Here are 15 reasons girls are attracted to their BFF's exes. We're looking at you, Selena Gomez!

15 It Feels A Bit Dangerous

What is life if not filled with a little bit of danger? It keeps things exciting. When you are young, the last thing you want in your life and relationships is predictability. Going after your best friend's ex has the perfect combo of excitement and danger. If you want to make some waves in your life and are feeling stuck or totally uninspired, you just might look for love in the wrong place. The other advantage? You know that this guy is not exactly some stranger or some weirdo off a dating app. He is who he says he is which is saying something. The whole Romeo and Juliet thing captures the danger element of love. And plus that whole love triangle thing can be kind of thrilling when you think about it. Like Bella, Edward and Jake in Twilight or Kelly, Brenda, and Dylan on Beverly Hills 90210.

14 He's Familiar

He is far away yet close. You know many of his quirks already and don't have to wrap your head around too much new stuff. Then… what if it doesn't work out? At least here, you know who you are dealing with for the most part, and can see how compatible the two of you would actually be as a real couple. This can then go really well or really badly, but both parties have a heads up, so to speak, and you will both know what's going on. It breaks a little bit of the ice and makes things easier at the beginning of the relationship. Soon enough you two can form an actual relationship… or you can abandon ship if this was a horrible mistake and things are not really working. But with so many unknowns in life and love, being able to date someone that you already know can be pretty attractive.

13 You Have Things In Common

As previously mentioned, you and this guy already have something in common… even though it may be a little strange at first that the thing that you have in common is your BFF/his ex-girlfriend. Or maybe your ex-BFF if this is enough to end things! Some women do not take kindly to their girlfriend dating their ex-guy and may promptly end the friendship or give her an ultimatum before ending the friendship. On either side, this is not a situation that is ideal, but then again if the guy and the new girl click, it may work out in the end for them at least. It may also work out if the female friendship was already having problems or they were on their way out, each of them, from the friendship. Sometimes it could end up being a win/win for everybody involved. The things in common will help break the ice for the couple and help them move on to the next stage in the relationship should it work out.

12 You Know The Bad Stuff Already

Knowing the bad stuff about this guy at the beginning of a relationship can save you a ton of heartache. You can both be more honest about your shortcomings and flaws and can kind of investigate and see if this is the best thing for you to do. Of course, if you think that you have zero faults and he doesn't see any flaws in himself either, that means that your new love story won't work out too well. Things will only work if you are honest and open AF about everything from the very start. So you have to be honest about whether you're telling your best friend and his ex-girlfriend about your new relationship. If you're keeping things a secret, that's going to cause a whole lot of tension that you probably don't want. This is true even if you just keep it on the down low for a little bit of time, so be careful about that.

11 You Know His Positive Traits

If you already know some good things about this guy, then that's an awesome start. You have one leg up on most people who meet and are basically strangers who have the start the whole getting to know each other process. You already know each other, right? It can be super helpful to know who the person that you're dating is and what his qualities are. But there's still a danger element since he could totally change on a whim (and so could you, of course!). Honesty is always the most important thing in any relationship and both people need to make sure they are on the same page about everything in order to give the relationship the best possible chance of working out. There are no guarantees as there are for anything in life. And knowing that he's a decent guy because he dated your friend might not be enough!

10 You Can Get Revenge On Him

You love your BFF like a sister and you want to get revenge by pretending to date this guy as a punishment for him hurting her. Go you! You're going to date him for a few months and get him to fall totally head over heels for you (or at least you're going to try your best!) and then you're going to dump his butt so fast, he won't know what hit him! It can be super painful for you since you're going to be full of anger and it will probably hurt your friend too. As the old saying goes, two wrongs don't make a right. It's not going to stop the pain that she has suffered, so you and her should both let this guy go if this is your reason for going after him. It's not really that healthy and will only make things a whole lot worse. Plus, what if you actually fall for him?! Then you'll be in any even worse off position. Not cool.

9 You Can Get Revenge On Your BFF

This is another ugly side to revenge. Many of us have personally experienced this, and it is the fault not only of the BFF but the guy, too. When a woman is strictly dating her best friend's ex-boyfriend with the soul purpose of doing it to hurt her current best friend or if they have parted ways. There is nothing uglier than hurting a beloved friend because of her unresolved anger and hurt feelings. This is unfortunately sometimes easier for women to do than just talking out their feelings of frustration with the friend and figuring out what steps to take to fix the problem or else to have a smooth and healthy exit from the relationship. If anger is left untreated, it gets bottled up and turned into revenge, where in the end you will most likely have three very hurt people caught in the middle of this discourse.

8 You Like A Challenge

Yup! Most women love a challenge whether it's at work or in their personal life. They think to themselves, “She couldn't fix him or make him commit. I'll be the woman to do it. After all, I am different.” It is a naive belief that many people, but primarily women have of being able to fix everyone's emotional lives and other aspects of their life. The reality is that only you can change yourself and anything else that's not working out too well in your life. But this does not stop many women from attempting to fix a guy and make him commit, do better, fix his life, and of course, make the relationship work. They are forgetting there are always two people in every relationship that are responsible for making things work or not. This is callous and insensitive and in the end, everyone will get hurt with this kind of mentality.

7 You Don't Want To Risk Anyone New

It's always easier to stick to what we know. Dating is no different. You know your BFF's ex super well. You might even be as close to him as you are to your own friend! You probably were privy to all the information about the relationship, both good and bad and in-between, and now you can use that to make things work with this guy. This takes the fear out of starting something new with a new person. You're not looking for adventure, you're just thinking, "I can't deal with another online date, who can I start dating?!" This is tricky terrain and many people, both women and men, don't want to show how vulnerable they really are in relationships. All relationships have their ups and downs and their difficulties. If women can eliminate some of the difficulties at least that will make things easier. If not, it will make them see how to get out of the relationship early enough.

6 You're Super Bored

When you're bored, you usually watch a movie, read a book, or learn a new hobby, right? Well, some women start relationship games to keep things interesting. They want to be the center of attention and they LOVE drama. This is a terrible reason to start a relationship and especially when your friend is going to get extremely hurt. There are no winners in this relationship, only losers and the after effects of stress and hurt will just keep getting passed down. This is where you probably would benefit from some therapy if you find you are using other people and events to cheer yourself up. The only person who can change your life for the better is you, and that is the best thing to do if you want to be healthy. A woman should never make any decision, particularly involving other people's feelings, unless she is doing it for positive reasons.

5 You Don't Want To Date Online

Online dating profiles are annoying AF. They're time-consuming and just not something that you really want to do. Sure, they're the best way to meet people and there's zero stigma these days which is AWESOME. But if you know a guy from your social circle and know him super well, you may want to date him. You want to save yourself time and aggravation. It may or may not work, but you want to try and see where things go. Of course, you could spend HOURS talking to someone who is totally Catfishing you or just not the right guy for you after all, and that will be pretty frustrating. This way, you already know this guy and you've had a lot of IRL, face-to-face contact. You may not even want to hurt your friend and it might not even cross your mind at first that this would be a problem. You're just sick of online dating!

4 You HATE Blind Dates

If you hate blind dates or being set up, then no one would blame you. It's risky, it wastes a lot of time if you hate the person (which you might) and you might even be kind of humiliated about the whole deal. If you're dating someone that you already know and know pretty well, then you can just skip ahead to the fun thing about dating. You can see if you two are a good fit. It's much easier to date someone in your own social circle. But think about it this way: if you don't meet guys organically in your everyday life, do you really want to risk hurting your friend? Wouldn't your rather be set up so you can meet a potentially cool guy and not break your BFF's heart? The choice is up to you but you might lose a potential boyfriend and your friend in the process so it's probably not something that you want to take lightly.

3 You Want To Fix Or Save Him

Maybe you've seen the dark side of this guy and you really want to help him. You think that you can fix him or save him. You want to do what other women (including your BFF!) tried and failed to do before you: get through to this guy who has serious emotional issues. Unless he wants to be helped, though, you can't really do anything. It is up to him to make those change in his life, not the woman or women he has been with. There are lots of emotional issues going on with both people in the relationship. This is always due to lack of emotional relating to one another and each other. Both parties need psychological help and counseling if this is why they are seeing one another. There is no cure for anxiety. It can be managed and people can be helped to have other better strategies in dealing with their relationships.

2 You Want To Rebel Against Your Mom

Yup, the old rebellion against your mom. We've all at some point wanted to rebel against our mom. We want to do things the total and complete opposite way that she has done them. And we want to something that she would NEVER do. You may think that her love and dating advice are super lame and not something that you want to do today. Sure, times have changed, but there's nothing wrong with getting some old-school (and probably super helpful!) advice from your mom. After all, she knows more than you probably give her credit for. But it's super normal to want to rebel against your mom and eventually you will probably realize that going after your best friend's ex-boyfriend for this reason is kind of silly. Well, hopefully, you will before you cause so much damage you can't fix it and go back to the way things were before!

1 Love Is Blind

Love is definitively blind in so many cases. We fall and hard for the wrong people and for the wrong reasons. Maybe we're looking for a father figure or we think it's easier to rescue someone else than fix ourselves or we get confused. Sure, being in love can be fun, but it can hurt you and everyone around you if you fall for the wrong guy. Often you can't even see it at first but you have to take it slow and see if this person is really the right one for you. You may have had no intention of falling for your best friend's ex-boyfriend. Maybe it just happened organically and the two of you feel SUPER guilty about it. Maybe you've both gone to her and told her and said that you didn't mean for it to happen. Like some of the other reasons on this list, this is both good and bad. Honestly, this is one of those times when you have to listen to both your heart and your head!