Stop the Yes, Dear-Ing 30 Signs You Have a Controlling Girlfriend
Is there anything worse than a controlling girlfriend? If you can't poop without asking, it might be time to move along and find freedom.
I am just going to put it out there. Almost all guys think they have a controlling girlfriend. Written in our culture is the notion that men are wild creatures needing to be tamed. Women were sent to tame them. But, that is just folklore for most couples.
There is a difference between a girlfriend's natural tendency to nurture and care and the need to control. If you feel smothered and can't seem to do anything on your own without her say-so, it might be time to move along.
30 behaviors that scream controlling girlfriend
You can't be in a relationship that feels more like an obligation. That isn't any way to live. Regardless if she really controls you or not, if it feels wrong, it probably is. I will warn you though, most girls have some controlling tendencies, it is hard-wired into us.
So, before you throw it away, think about if she really controls you or you just aren't ready for a relationship right now. That way you decide to grow up or let it go.
#1 You wouldn't dare utter the words “guy's night.” Guy's night is like a curse word in your relationship. She knows that you will drink too much, swear too much, and be without her too much. That is way too much freedom for you to handle. She does you a favor!
#2 She not only tells you what to wear, but she also lays it out for you on the bed. Not only does she buy your clothes and tell you what to wear, but when you can't get it right, she resorts to laying things out for you on the bed.
#3 A controlling girlfriend needs to know your whereabouts every second of the day. When you come home, you best know all your actions, because she needs a recount. And she isn't above checking up just to make sure.
#4 If you talk to another girl you know there will be hell to pay. She has eyes everywhere. So, you know better than to talk to another girl. Like a spy camera, all it takes is for someone to say, “Hey, I saw your boyfriend talking to ___ on Friday” for a huge fight to ensue.
#5 Don't be yourself, she won't like that. Your every behavior is monitored and judged by her, so act proper!
#6 She corrects your grammar. Just like a kid, when you say something in improper English, she not only lets you know, she isn't above correcting you in front of the crowd. Your poor speaking is reflects badly on her.
#7 “Did you brush your teeth today?” and other basic questions are asked. Like you are a two-year-old… She's just making sure.
#8 She restricts what you can and can't eat. She's decided you're a vegan, don't you know. You used to love bacon and cheeseburgers now they are off limits.
#9 The controlling girlfriend reteaches you how to fold things out of the laundry. You're doing it all wrong. There is a right way to do things, and it ain't your way.
#10 She doesn't like your BFF and insists you ghost him. If you pay too much attention to your best friend, or any at all, that steals from her. They better be gone from your life.
#11 In fact, let go of all your friends. Every friend is a bad influence. Other boys are such slobs, their bad behavior might rub off on you.
#12 She gives you an allowance. You can't be trusted to make the right decisions with your money. Instead, she rations it out for you.
#13 You check with her before you make any plans *like any*. She is the one that controls the calendar, so don't make any plans without checking first.
#14 You best not mention any previous relationships, that is silent treatment worthy. You don't have a past, remember?
#15 All decisions are funneled through her, like all. Before you answer, you make sure that you ask about anything.
#16 No feet on the coffee table. No shoes in the house, no dogs, no feet on the couch, coasters are mandatory, hang your jacket on the hook, put your shoes in the shoe bin, and for God's sakes, make sure that you put the salt back where it belongs after you use it.
#17 The only answer that works is “Yes, dear.” Otherwise shit is going to get serious quick.
#18 Even though it is your money, you ask to make major purchases. If you buy anything that costs any more than $50, you better have a good excuse for not clearing it with the banker first.
#19 Holidays are spent with her family, yours no longer exists. Forget your parents. You don't need them anyway.
#20 First sign of putting on a little weight, and you are ordered off to the gym. She has no problem controlling even your weight. Hit the gym, fatty!
#21 She sets your career goals for you, get on it will you! Bills ain't going to pay themselves! If you will eventually support her and the kids she has already named, land a sweet job.
#22 You have a joint opinion, and it is hers. There is only one choice to make.
#23 Everything you do she undoes and does the right way-hers. You can't do anything right, not even a thanks for trying. And, she doesn't wait until you aren't looking, she redoes it in front of you. Next time you know better.
#24 All your ideas are “good.” There is always a “but” to follow. It is the “but” where the control lies.
#25 She goes to the barber with you to tell him how she likes your haircut. No more of those bad haircuts, or the way you like it. She's the one that looks at you all the time.
#26 She invites herself along even when she is obviously not invited. She doesn't even like fishing, but she'll be damned if she isn't front and center.
#27 If not invited, she just shows up unexpectedly to check on you. “Oh… I didn't know you were going to be here.” Even when you know damn well she did.
#28 She makes you turn on your “location share” *Apple reference*. Tracking devices aren't only useful-they are mandatory.
#29 She talks really slowly to you like you can't comprehend. You're not quick enough to keep up with superiority.
#30 All gifts and thank you cards come from you both. You guessed it… picked out by her.
There was a reason why you moved out of your house, you didn't need your mommy anymore. The problem is that no one let your girlfriend know.
If you wake up one day and realize that your controlling girlfriend boxed you in so tight that you can barely breathe, tell her to back off or get lost. You can't live by someone else's rules forever.
