Marry, Date or Dump? How Do Women Decide This?
A woman's mind makes lots of tiny decisions to come to a conclusion for what to do with your relationship. So is she going to marry, date or dump you?
Everyone arrives at a point in their life where they have to decide whether they are ready to settle down or forge on towards that journey to find their lifelong mate. But how do women decide what they want at a specific time of their life? Are they going to date you or dump you? Could they possibly see you as the one they'll be spending the rest of their life with?
We've all played that game. Although the words are too obscene to display here, the gist is pretty clear - dump, date or marry. The point of the game is to answer the question of who you would rather date, dump or marry as fast as you can. No matter who your friend suggests, you have to designate a fate for the unaware bachelor.
When the choices are attractive, women tend to hem and haw before deciding on who they think can entertain or provide for them, while sadly saying goodbye to the least attractive of the bunch. In real life, it's just as hard to decide, but the decisions women make will inevitably alter their life and future.
In order to determine how women decide this, you have to understand their purpose for dumping, dating or marrying a guy. Unlike in the game, they have to take time to decide and not just blurt out their intentions on the first date. They observe every detail and feeling throughout the dating process.
You're getting dumped if…
It's hard to accept, but women will sometimes decide to not even bother with entertaining you after the first date. All of the deciding factors can be listed, but that's what dating self-help books are for. What we're here to tell you are the initial reasons why it's not going to work out.
#1 She's not attracted to you. All women have a type. If you're not it, you will end up in the “dumped” section. Some are nicer and are willing to try things out. However, if the biological predilection for a strapping alpha male isn't sated, they won't even consider seeing you again.
Attraction is very important when it comes to dating. You don't have to look like a super model, but you do have to look like someone they can stand to sleep with.
#2 There's no spark. Unless a woman is desperate and considering freezing her eggs, they will not pursue a relationship with someone who can't knock their socks off. If it feels awkward, boring or wrong, they probably won't call you back.
#3 They don't like your job or your lack of one. Women these days aren't aiming for the tall, dark and handsome billionaire protagonist. What women want these days is a man who can provide them with the lifestyle that they are accustomed to, or at least someone who's not going to be a burden on that lifestyle. If they think you earn less than what can help them live a contented life, you're definitely out of the running.
#4 You have a vice. For some women, this can be a deal breaker. Smokers, drinkers, drug users and gamblers are usually looked down upon by health-conscious and level-headed women. If you can stand to stop any of these vices, you might have a chance to upgrade to dating or marrying levels.
#5 Their hang-ups. It could be because your name starts with an H or that you're left-handed. Whatever that reason is, a woman can use it to decide that they don't want to see you at all. It's a strange reason, but women are strange in general. Men are more so, but I'll elaborate on that on another article.
She'll date you if…
Dating can turn into an engagement and, by default, a marriage. Before that, however, a woman can choose to see you on a regular basis, but never commit to a life-long agreement. Don't assume that all women who are willing to date will want to get married.
Modern times have allowed women to choose their own paths that are not the standard societal expectations. They can choose to not have a baby and choose to not get married. But if they do decide to date you, here's what she's thinking.
#1 You seem charming enough. Choosing to simply date a person means that a woman will still look at the same traits that a well-meaning man has. If you can make her smile and laugh, you're halfway in. If you can show that you're affectionate without smothering her, then it's likely a done deal.
#2 You're good in bed. Why get married when you can have sex with a person on a regular basis without the paperwork? Still, that does not mean that the woman is allowing you to use her whenever it pleases you. It simply means that you are both enjoying each other physically and emotionally in the present. Just make sure that you establish your boundaries and exclusivity beforehand.
#3 You're fun to be with. Dating isn't just about sex. When you and your partner spend time together, there needs to be chemistry. Once this happens, you can do all sorts of things that you can enjoy without needing to stay in bed.
#4 You're flexible. Because you're just dating, you need to respect each other's lives. You can't demand things that can negatively affect your work or routines. You need to schedule time with each other, without having to turn your lives upside down.
#5 You respect her. Dating is not the same as being friends with benefits. Although a woman may not say outright that she wants to marry you, that does not give you the freedom to treat her like someone who's not in a committed relationship.
She'll marry you if…
This part is both easy and difficult to decide. Some women have a set of standards that they can easily confirm on the first date. Others need time to decide whether they see a man as someone they can spend the rest of their life with.
This category requires a few more items than the first two because it is a massive undertaking that cannot be decided lightly. That's why, in addition to this list, you need to possess the requirements mentioned in the Dating category as well.
#1 You can provide for her. It's not the necessity of money, but the principle that a man can provide for a woman. When they know that their bases are covered, they become open to the possibility of financially attaching themselves to another person.
#2 You have potential. A man may have goals, but a woman will only marry him if he knows how to achieve said goals. If all you have are pipe dreams, they will not acknowledge your eagerness, no matter how good your intentions are. If they do forego this requirement, they might end up miserable or resentful, if they can't accept your situation.
#3 You can take care of her and your future family. Aside from providing for her, a woman will want to know if you can turn into a good husband and/or father. They won't quiz you on the basics of diaper-changing, but they will see how you go about caring for them in little ways, in order to decide whether you are responsible enough to take on a wife or a family.
#4 You're ready to commit. Even if you don't say your thoughts out loud, women can feel whether you are ready to be in a committed relationship or not. Some may opt to ignore their gut feelings, but the women who know exactly what they want won't settle for, “Fine. Let's get this over with.”
#5 You're in love with each other. Everything else listed in these three categories are no longer applicable once a person realizes that they are in love. Loving someone can allow you to make profound decisions without needing to think about it. Sometimes, it's irresponsible. However, love was never really a rational concept in the first place.
Some guys don't need to know how women decide who they're going to date, dump or marry. Those who do, however, have more of an edge, because they know what a woman is looking for and can duly provide those requirements should they wish to.
You're not really changing yourself to cater to their needs, but you are upping your game by knowing if a woman wants to date, dump or marry you. All you have to do is maximize your potential, and be the best man that you can be for her - temporarily or otherwise.
