How to Sober Up Fast 12 Quick Ways to Go from Sloshed to Alert

You forgot that job interview in the morning. Well, technically it is morning now. The only thing in your mind right now should be how to sober up fast!

You could be wasted off your ass right now, trying to figure out how to get sober as fast as possible. You foresee getting wasted tonight but also have an exam in the morning, so you prepare ahead of time. That's very adult of you. Point is, you're here for one reason and one reason only, you need to know how to sober up fast.

How to sober up fast

We've all been there when one beer turns into five or six, and you're figuring out how you're supposed to go to work tomorrow or not even that, how you're going to get home. It's all a part of this thing we live in called life.

Do you regret getting drunk? Of course not, you had an amazing time, but now, your conscience is kicking in and giving you a small lecture on how bad of an idea this was. Okay, well, you can un-drunk yourself. And because of that, here's what you need to do to sober yourself up as quickly as possible.

I don't want to sound like a parent but… you did this to yourself.

#1 Time cures all. If you have the time, well, I recommend you use it. Get as much sleep as you can because time is really the only thing that can sober you up. However, if you cannot rest, below are the other things you can do to speed up the process. If you have a job interview in two hours and you're wasted, I don't know if you should just call in sick instead.

#2 Eat something fatty. McDonald's is a drunk person's favorite place to go for a reason. Not only does it hit the spot with our taste buds but it's extremely fatty so it helps absorb the alcohol in our bodies.

Don't go for a salad, that won't do anything. You need something greasy like french fries, burger, or pizza. You want that grease to coat your stomach so that it slows the absorption rate of the alcohol. In times like these, grease is king.

#3 Hydrate yourself. You need to drink water. If you've been downing shot after shot without anything in between, well, you're going to get really wasted. Alcohol depletes the electrolytes in your body, so you need to make sure that you sustain your electrolyte levels. Hence why drunk people love Gatorade. Also, hydration will prevent you from a nasty hangover in the morning.

#4 Throw up. This isn't my first suggestion when it comes to knowing how to sober up fast, but for many people, it helps. Of course, it doesn't reduce the alcohol that's already in our bloodstream, but if you just took five shots in a row and realize that's a bad idea, throw it up now. It hasn't reached your bloodstream, so, you'll be helping yourself out in the long run.

#5 Caffeine. Okay, there's a little misconception about caffeine. Many people believe that coffee will sober you up, however, that's not the case. You'll still be drunk whether you drink that cup of coffee or not, however, it will make you feel more alert. Just because you drank some coffee, don't think you're sober enough to drive. Remember, you're still just as drunk as you were before the coffee.

#6 Stop drinking. Stop drinking. More alcohol isn't going to make you less drunk. For every one drink you have, it takes approximately one hour for it to be processed in your body. So, if you keep drinking, you're going to keep adding on the hours until you'll be sober.

#7 Activate your liver. Your liver is going to be responsible for cleaning up the mess you made in your body. With all the alcohol floating in your body right now, you're going to need your liver in tip-top shape. So, try taking some milk thistle. It's a natural herb which detoxifies the liver and keeps it functioning. And trust me, you're going to need your liver right now.

#8 Get a little cardio in. If you're already drunk, you're probably not going to do a 10k run, and I don't blame you. But, I suggest you to try to go on a walk at least. Doing cardio actually helps to increase blood flow to the liver which results in your blood detoxifying faster.

#9 Load up on vitamins. Now, you don't have to swallow a handful of vitamins but you should at the very least make yourself a smoothie… alcohol-free. Use ginger, carrots, apples, mint, oranges-fruits high in vitamin C and antioxidants.

#10 Carb it up. You thought carbs were bad? Not when you're wasted! So, you do want to eat greasy foods but you also want to make sure they're loaded with carbs. Why? Carbs slow down the absorption of alcohol in the body and lower the ratio of alcohol in your bloodstream. In other words, eat that baguette because carbs are good.

#11 Don't drink carbonated beverages. Here's a fun fact: carbonated beverages that contain alcohol actually quicken the absorption of alcohol in your body. So, if you're trying to set a pace for yourself, stay away from anything carbonated such as champagne, mixed drinks with soda in it, or beer. There's not much left then, is there?

#12 Showering doesn't work. So many people believe showering helps you sober up. Listen, throwing yourself into an ice cold shower will do one of two things: make you feel more alert or put your body in shock. Neither actually make you sober and the latter may put you in the hospital which is what you want to avoid.

Don't take a shower, it won't help you unless you want a warm one right before going to bed, for the sake of comfort.

So, what are you waiting for? I gave you the remedies for how to sober up fast, now go use them! Don't fall asleep right now, this isn't the time. Go and sober up!