15 Ways To Let Go Of The Person Who Hurts You The Most

People are not kidding when they say that love hurts. It does, and sometimes love hurts so much that it is simply time to set it aside and move on.

Almost everyone has been in a relationship with someone who has hurt them, either emotionally or physically. The other person can be a parent, a boyfriend, a sister, or even a best friend from high school. But there always comes a moment when you ask yourself if you would be better off without this other person in your life.

Learning to let go can be as hard as deciding to stay. It is an unfamiliar change and one that you will have to live with for the rest of your life, but you know in your heart that this is the only thing you can do.

You want a better life, a happier life, and since the person you love won't let you live that better life, you have to let go and face a new beginning on your own.

It is not going to be easy, but nothing in life worth fighting for is ever easy. You are going to have to make the firm choice to let go and move on.

15 Decide On The Now

Make the firm decision that now is the best time to take action and let go of that other person. Things are not getting any better and, in fact, they are getting progressively worse.

Have a quiet moment with yourself and decide on a plan of action. Also, think about why you are removing this person from your life. What has this other person done to you that hurts you so much?

When you have a good, personal understanding of why you are letting someone go, you will be more resolved to follow through with your plans. It is so easy to keep going back to a person who has hurt you, but you need to realize that things are not going to change anytime soon, no matter how much you wish they would. You need to take action and it must happen now.

14 It Is Not Your Fault

Recognize that the bad things the other person did to you are not your fault.

I was in a difficult situation recently. I was not sure if I had the strength to let go of the person who was hurting me. I sought out counseling and after talking about the situation, I was instructed to say, “It is not my fault.” At first I just repeated the words, but then my counselor had me say the words with conviction. She made me repeat the phrase over and over again. I had to believe that what happened was not my fault.

As women, we blame ourselves for a lot of things that are truly beyond our control. It is how we are wired and how society wants us to feel.

The truth is that we can only accept fault for our own actions. The actions of someone else are not our fault.

13 Grieve

After you have decided that it is time to let go, you are going to need to allow yourself time to grieve.

Give yourself the alone time your soul needs to cry it all out. Be angry, be sad, or feel whatever emotion is coming to play. Work your way through your feelings.

It is all too easy to tell yourself you are happy now that you are letting the other person go. You might even tell yourself that you feel absolutely nothing towards what is happening, but you are lying to yourself.

Letting go of someone is hard and deep down you are feeling a bunch of negative emotions. You need to get those feelings out and express them through tears, writing, or art.

Work your way through the bad feelings so that you can heal faster and be on your way to a better life.

12 Remove The Reminders

To make the letting go a touch easier on yourself, do a major house cleaning. Get some empty boxes and start filling them up with memories of the other person. Pack up all the pictures and the gifts. Anything that reminds you of the other person needs to be put into a box.

Decide on what you are going to keep, what you will be trashing, and what will get donated.

There will always be something that you will want to keep hold of, but for right now, you need it out of sight and out of mind. Pack it up and don't look at it again until you are completely healed and out of contact with the other person.

The rest of the stuff can go. Some of it will be trash, but much of it can probably be donated to clothing and household charities. Let someone else make new memories with the stuff and put it to good use.

11 Change Your Phone Number

The number one way most people stay in touch is through their cell phones. If you are looking for a first step in letting someone go, this is probably it.

I admit that it is a major pain in the butt to change a phone number. You will have to change your number in so many other places, as well, but it makes a huge difference in limiting how the other person contacts you.

After you have gone through the hassle of changing your number, you will also be less likely to break down and contact that other person on your phone. You know that if things don't work out, which they probably won't, you will have to go through the whole process all over again.

After you do this, you will probably feel a bit phone lonely, but that is only because that other person can no longer trouble you with calls and text messages. You will get over it soon enough and will be thankful for the extra quiet.

10 Don't Glorify The Past

You will have moments of weakness. We all do when we are taking that big step to let another person go. But these moments of weakness don't have to send your plans crashing down around you.

When you find yourself remembering the good times or funny times, you need to switch your thoughts back to the reasons why you left the other person.

You have to remind yourself of all the hurt the other person caused. You have to remember the bad times.

When you start to feel nostalgic, get up and start to work on something else. Take a walk or call up a friend. Do something else besides sitting there and reliving the memories.

You don't want to slip up and contact that other person. You don't want to be weak.

Instead, be strong. Move on to newer and brighter things. Focus on yourself and set new goals for your future.

9 Get Counseling

Signing up for counseling was one of the best and healthiest decisions I have ever made in my life. I not only got to talk about what was happening and how I felt in a safe place, but I also received guidance.

My counselor empowered me and helped me find my way through the darkness. The right counselor can do the same thing for you.

If you are having a tough time letting someone go, find a counselor that is skilled at helping people in your situation. Meet her in advance to see if you feel comfortable talking to her. If all goes well, show up for weekly sessions.

The best counselors help you to clarify your thinking and your actions. They have you express your feelings and they teach you how to manage the way that you feel. They help you find your inner strength at times when you feel weak.

8 Block Them On Social Media

Social media can be a huge burden when you are trying to remove a person from your life.

First, you will need to remove and block the other person from all of your social media. You might have to remove the other person's family members or friends from your accounts, as well. It sucks, but it needs to be done if you are going to give yourself the opportunity to move on.

You may also want to take a complete break from social media while you are at it. Think of how much time you waste on it and then think of what you could be doing instead.

There is also the stress of seeing other people in relationships. You can just walk away from social media for the first few days by turning off all your alerts and not giving in to the urge to post.

7 Find New Friends

If the person you are letting go has been in your life for a very long time, you might find that you share many of the same friends.

When it is over with that one person, you may have to let go of other people, too. But don't feel bummed about the whole thing. Instead, think of all the new friends you will now be able to have.

Get yourself out more and start talking to other people. Attend activities that interest you and interact with the people there.

You really can make friends anywhere you go, from the grocery store to the elevator. Just put yourself out there and talk to the women you meet. Make a real effort to get to know new people.

From my experience, most people enjoy making new friends. As humans, we need that social interaction. So if you are making a huge change, add new friends to your life to help you refocus on the good that is out there.

6 Start A Journal

It sounds kind of dumb, but when you actually try it out, it works in helping you to refocus your life and let go of the crud from the past.

Keeping a journal during the toughest parts of your life does many things. First of all, it prevents you from posting stupid stuff on your social media. Instead of making your drama public, keep it private and write it in your journal.

Second, keeping a journal helps you to relieve built up stress. You get to write about anything you want, without judgement, and you will feel so much better about it after you are done.

Journals are also a lesson that your feelings will change. For example, I kept a journal during the ending of my marriage. I put down all my worries and fears. Years later, I picked up and read through that journal. I discovered that I was worrying myself silly over things that never came to pass. It was a light bulb moment that I might not have had if I didn't keep a journal.

5 Start A New Project

Instead of focusing all your energy on letting someone go, you can focus your energy on starting a new project.

A new project can be anything. It can be a business plan or an educational outline for your new self. It can be a craft project or gardening.

Choose a new project that is not related to the person you are letting go. Let it be something you are seriously interested in doing. Draw out a step by step plan for the new project so that you can focus on those steps instead of on the past.

No matter where you are in life, you should always have a project to work on. It strengthens who you are and it helps you learn how to focus on what you are doing.

The more involved you become in your project, the easier it is to move on with your life.

4 Focus On Your Needs

You are probably letting go of that other person because he would use up so much of your time and energy. He would fill your head up with negative thoughts and you were always too distracted to spend any time working on yourself.

The moment you decide to remove someone from your life, you need to begin focusing on your needs. You have neglected yourself for long enough and now is the time for you to get yourself fixed up and on the ball.

Focus on your health, first and foremost. Create an exercise schedule and start planning out healthier meals for yourself.

Need a vacation? You can plan that out too and make it happen now that you have more me time.

Don't neglect your needs and, as often as possible, give into your wants, too. Life is way too short to live in punishment for something that is not your fault.

3 You Deserve Better

Is the person you are leaving a long-term boyfriend? Is he someone you used to dream about marrying?

Leaving him is probably the hardest thing you have ever done, but you know in your heart that you need to do it. You have to do it.

No matter what he says to you, remind yourself that you deserve better. You do not deserve to be abused, treated like crud, or cheated on. In fact, you deserve the opposite of all those things.

Write the words “I deserve better” on sticky notes and post them around the house. Copy other positive sayings down and put them where you will see them each and every day.

Many women have been in your situation and the ones that have become successful in life are the ones who found the strength to let go and walk away. You can be one of them.

2 Accept Change

Nothing lasts forever. Not love, not family, and not childhood friendships. Life is full of change, and that is a good thing.

Change helps us grow. It makes us become better people. Without change, we become miserable and stagnant.

A part of letting someone go is learning how to accept change. It is difficult in the beginning, but it gets easier the more you accept it and pursue it.

As part of the process of letting someone go, you will need to actively pursue changes. These changes will be how you live your day to day life, how you think, and what you do in your free time.

Make small, positive changes at first. As you make each change, see it as a building block to a better you. Make larger changes to your life as you become more and more comfortable with the idea of living a new life.

1 Have Faith

Each and every day you succeed in not having contact with that person is a day of victory. It is a win for your happiness and your future.

If you are going to succeed in letting the past go, you need to have faith. Have faith in yourself that you can do this, that you are strong, and that you are taking the right action. Believe that what you are doing is the right thing to do.

Yes, it can be scary, especially if you have just let go of a long-term boyfriend, but there is also something better for you if you just open your eyes to it.

We are all strong on the inside, whether we admit to it or not. The will to survive is within us all. Stay positive, move forward, and take the necessary steps to live a happier and healthier lifestyle.