15 Ways To Know He's Clingy AF Before The First Date
While there's definitely no way to know if a first date is going to be awesome or awful ahead of time, there is a way to know if someone is going to be clingy AF. It's funny because us women are often considered super clingy… but the truth is that some guys are just as bad. Some are clingier than you could ever expect someone to be, and it's definitely not fun. If you've ever felt like the guy you were dating was ridiculously clingy, you're probably not alone. So what happens when he acts like cling wrap and you haven't even gone out with him yet? You definitely have to become a detective so you don't end up in the creepiest situation ever. While you can't always guarantee that you're going to wind up with a normal person, there are some ways to protect yourself. Here are 15 ways to know if he's clingy AF before the first date.
15 He Wants To Talk Forever On The App
If you've been using apps or dating online for a while (and you probably have), then you know that there are some rules. They might be unwritten rules, but they're still rules that you have to follow. Well, you don't have to follow them… but it's a good idea to keep them in mind if you don't want to end up burned. So here are the rules of using an app to find love or at least a first date: you chat as much as you need to with someone to get to know them at least a little bit, and then you make a plan ASAP. You want to grab coffee, drinks or dinner, depending on how you usually spend your first dates, and you want to make sure that this guy actually wants to meet in person as well. You want a boyfriend, not a friend (and especially not an online friend). If a guy asks you out or you ask him out (hello 2017), it's really weird if he wants to keep talking on the app. It just is.
14 He Asks For Your Phone Number Super Early
It's totally normal and legit to exchange cell numbers when you're making a plan. You need to know if you can text this guy when you get to the bar or restaurant and can't find him, of course, and if you're running late, you want to let him know. But you know what's not normal at all? When you're chatting with a guy online and after a message or two, he asks for your phone number. Nope. Don't do this. Don't even think about it. There's no reason for him to do this. Well, there's a reason, and you can probably guess what it is, but it's not something that you want to think about. This just proves that he's super clingy and that he's not going to stop texting you, even if you did meet him in person and even if you did start dating. You just don't want to get involved with someone like this so you should definitely stop chatting with him if this happens.
13 He Asks You Out Super Early
If you've been talking to a guy online for an hour or so and then he asks you out, that's totally fine. You don't want to talk to him forever, after all, and you definitely don't have time to come up with this whole fantasy around meeting him in person… and then have nothing ever happen. But if this guy asks you out super early aka in the first message that he sends you or after you've exchanged a few messages along the lines of "hey, how's it going?" then you want to run as fast as you can. You just don't want to do this. He's super clingy and he's probably looking for an instant girlfriend. Of course, you know that's not how it works. You have to go on several dates before you even know if you're sure about someone. That's just common sense and human nature. It's not a good sign if he wants to date you before he's even asked you what your name is or what your job is.
12 He Sends Message Upon Message
You know how "double texting" is a really annoying thing? Basically, this just means texting someone something, then texting them again when they don't respond. If you're talking to someone online, then it's safe to say that they might engage in some "double messaging." Okay, this isn't a real thing, but it's like the online dating version of double texting and it needs to be a thing since it does happen. This means that he doesn't wait for you to respond to what he's said or asked you. He just keeps messaging. He expects you to answer immediately and doesn't seem to get that you're not always attached to your phone. This is really clingy behavior but not only that, it's really creepy and strange as well. You definitely don't want to get involved with someone like this so as long as you can see the signs, then get out as soon as you can.
11 He Tells You His Life Story
You don't want the guy that you're dating to remain a mystery to you forever. That's really weird. The whole point of being in a relationship is getting to know another person and sometimes, even knowing them better than you know yourself. Or something cheesy and corny like that. If you're chatting with a guy online and haven't ever gone on a date with him yet and he's telling you his entire life story, that's a serious red flag. It's pretty much the biggest red flag out there. Either he's totally lying or if he's telling the truth, and the latter is only an even worse option. Do you really want to know all of these intimate and personal details about someone before you've even met them in person? Probably not. It's just going to make the first date even weirder since you're going to keep thinking about everything that he told you.
10 He Asks You Personal Questions
Do you really want to tell someone your deepest, darkest secrets… when you are chatting online… and when you have not even gone out yet? That is really weird and really clingy. It is pretty much the clingiest behavior ever. He is proving that he wants to know everything about you ASAP and that is just not something that is going to fly with you. You have to get to know someone in a normal, natural, logical way. That means that it could take months before you really feel like you know someone. That is okay with you because if you are looking for a real relationship and an actual connection, you can take things slowly. A clingy person probably will not want to take things slowly because he is going to want to make you his girlfriend instantly. That is not what you want because it is not going to be real.
9 He Gets Mad When You Don't Respond
If a guy gets pissed off when you're not responding ASAP, then he's not the guy for you. This is even more true if he's acting this way when you haven't even gone on the first date yet. The thing about a clingy guy is that he's going to keep texting you and texting you and texting you before you've even gone on the date or have even met in person. And so what does he do when he's clingy and you don't respond? He's going to get pissed off. Yup. He is. He won't be able to stop himself because he's used to having people respond immediately and he's used to getting frustrated when he doesn't get instant responses. So if you want to know if a guy is clingy before the first date, then make sure that you watch how he acts when you don't answer his messages. It will seriously be enlightening and tell you everything that you need to know.
8 He's Way Too Enthusiastic About The First Date
You don't want someone to act super crazy when you're making a plan for the first date. You don't want him to say, "I guess I'll go out with you, I have nothing better to do." But you don't want him to act like this is the best thing that has ever happened in his entire life, either. That's definitely clingy and creepy and any other negative word that you can think of. This is a fine line and a tricky balance since you don't want to keep dating someone who doesn't care about you and doesn't seem interested in hanging out with you. That's going way too far in the other direction. When you don't have a ton of dating experience, it might be tough to understand this fine line because, well, you don't have a ton of dating experience. That's okay. It takes everyone a different amount of time to figure this stuff out. But make sure that he's not super clingy about making the first date plan. It's just not a good thing.
7 He Confirms Several Times
It's pretty normal in this day and age of online dating to confirm before the first date. You kind of have to since you often make a plan several days or even a week in advance thanks to everyone's crazy busy schedules. How you deal with confirming a plan totally depends on you. Maybe you like to take charge and text the guy the morning of the first date and ask if you're still on. Maybe you wait for him to text you because you figure that if you're still on, he's going to send a pre-date text to make sure. If this guy confirms several times - a few days before, the day before, the morning of, and even (in the worst cases) half an hour before the date, you really want to run far away. You don't want to deal with that. It's a nightmare. It's just going to get worse and he's just going to do this every single time that you hang out.
6 He Texts About The Details Of The Date
There aren't all that many details that you have to deal with in a first date situation. You pick the time and place and that's about it. A guy who wants to talk about what he's going to order or even how long he can stay is really not someone that you want to date. Just think how much more neurotic he would be if you actually were in a relationship. There's also the fact that you want a first date to be magical and interesting… at least in the best case scenario. You totally understand that the date might suck and that you might want to leave ASAP, but of course you hold out hope that it's going to be a good evening. You wouldn't even bother going if you didn't think that way. If a guy keeps texting about details of the date like how long it should be, he's super clingy. He's just going to keep telling you way too many details about himself and his life, and that's just weird.
5 He's A Texting Machine
This kind of goes without saying… and yet it still needs to be said. The truth is that not all guys like to text. Some guys barely use their phones and are really not into texting. They just would rather not. Others can't live without their phones and are super obsessed with them. They literally never put their phones down. No matter what kind of texter this guy is, he shouldn't be messaging you a ton before you've even gone on the first date. If you met via a dating app, you talked about everything that you had to in order to know if you wanted to meet him in person. There should be nothing left to say until you're sitting across from each other. If he keeps texting, then you have to figure that he's really clingy and that it's only going to get worse. You have to save some things for the actual date, don't you think?
4 He's Obsessed With Emojis
Emojis are really fun and sometimes they make life worth living. You're really glad that the coffee and avocado emojis exist since those are your favorite things. But when it comes to emojis in a dating situation? Well, that's another story. Guys who are really into using emojis when they text tend to be more immature and clingy than guys who hate texting. You want to watch out for someone who sends you a ton of emojis before you've even met him (especially if he loves the happy face one with heart eyes - ugh). This may seem kind of silly and like it doesn't matter at all, but seriously, date someone who is into emojis and you will realize that this is totally the truth. You're also going to get annoyed ASAP if he sends you an emoji every time that you texts you. So you have to think about this if it's clear from the very beginning.
3 He Asks You First Date Questions… Before The First Date
Where did you grow up? What was your childhood like? Where do you see yourself in five years? Where are you traveling next? These are pretty standard first date questions. Sometimes you chat about this stuff before (aka when you're chatting online and deciding if you're ever going to meet each other in person) but you really focus on getting to know each other when you're sitting at a table in a bar. It's not a good sign if a guy asks you first date questions before you actually go on the first date. He should be able to wait. If he can't, then that tells you a few things. It might prove that he's literally never been on a date and has no idea what to say or how to act. If that's the case, then you don't really want to deal with that since that's just too much for you to take on. But another reason that he might be acting this way is that he's just super clingy. You can't change a clingy person. You just have to steer clear.
2 He Treats You Like You're Already His Girlfriend
When this happens, you might not even realize it at first because it's weird AF. He asks how your day is going, he asks what you're up to, and he updates you on his schedule that day. If you're his girlfriend, then this kind of constant texting and communication is totally and completely normal. It would be weird if you never heard from him and if he never wanted to talk to you in between dates. Can you even imagine?! If you haven't even gone out with this person yet, the truth is that you probably don't want to if this is the way that he's acting. He's pretty much the very definition of clingy and he's not going to change. He definitely doesn't understand that it's weird to text too much before the first date because you want to wait to see what he's like in person and you don't want to get too caught up on what his texting is like.
1 He Talks About The Future
You have literally just made the plan for your first date and this guy is already planning the next few dates. He brings up wanting to see a certain movie with you. He mentions a restaurant you can go to at some point. He generally freaks you out. While you may wonder if he's just a nice guy and that it's refreshing that someone is interested in commitment, this is too much. Save your first dates for the guys who know to make a plan… and can actually wait to meet you in person. Because that's really the only way to start a new relationship. You can't have an instant relationship just because you think that a guy's online photos are cute and that you like the way that he messages you. You have to go on the first date, see if you get along, and go from there. And if he's clingy AF? Run in the other direction.