15 Situations It Sucks To Be In When You're Single
Being single can be awesome. It can mean we have more time for ourselves, more freedom to do what we want, fewer obligations to other people, and less pressure to think up gift ideas and new things to do on dates. However, there are also a lot of times when being single really, really sucks. It can get lonely not having someone else to offer comfort and intimacy, especially when the temperature drops, and it can get pretty damn annoying to have to field questions about why you're still single and suggestions from well-meaning friends who want to set you up on blind dates. When you're part of a couple, you don't have to deal with the frustrations of dating, where every first date feels like a job interview, because you've already gotten past that awkward part and can enjoy the good stuff.
If you're cursing your single status during this time of year, you're not alone. It's not just around the holidays when it sucks to be single - there are 14 more situations when it doesn't feel good to be single AF. Do any of these situations sound familiar to you? Let us know!
15 When you're moving
Moving sucks. It takes a long time, it's heavy, you usually have to clean as you go, it's expensive, and no one really likes doing it. Sure, you can usually get your friends to help you out with the promise of pizza and beer afterwards, but you still feel a little bad for taking up their afternoon with something as boring as moving boxes.
That's when it really pays to have a boyfriend. When you're in a relationship, you have someone who is automatically committed to helping you move, and on whom you can usually pawn off the heavier loads or more annoying tasks, because they love you. When you're single, it's just you (and maybe a roommate) taping those cardboard boxes closed, wrapping up plates, and figuring out how to fit your queen-size mattress into your building's tiny elevator. Plus, afterwards it's just you unpacking everything, because your friends have all gone home since they've done their part. It sucks.
14 When you get set up
Blind dates are never a fun thing, and even though we have the benefit of social media to help us creep the people we've been set up with, nothing can quite prepare us for meeting a stranger face to face. When you're single, it's almost guaranteed that your friends will try and get you to go out with John from the office, who's totally your type, or Ben's buddy James who has a great sense of humor.
Couples like to set up their single friends, because they believe everyone else needs to be coupled up to be as happy as they are. Sometimes, this means they gloss over the less attractive parts of the person's personality, like John's habit of ordering for his date or James's need to explain all those super funny jokes to you. Getting set up is hard to refuse, because everyone insists on it, and when you're single, it can be even more difficult to turn the offer down politely.
13 When you're cooking
If you're a chef-in-training, maybe you take great pleasure in cooking, creating elaborate meals and dishes to satisfy your culinary curiosity. Perhaps you even hold dinner parties to show off your skills to all your friends (who will inevitably bring their plus-ones). However, your buds can't always be counted on to show up, and nothing is quite so depressing as cooking an entire meal that no one is around to eat or - possibly worse - cooking for one.
Your grocery list reads like the sad cat lady's, with small litres of milk and tins of tuna, because most nights you're preparing meals just for you. Don't get me wrong, sometimes it can be really relaxing to only have to worry about feeding yourself and enjoying what you like, but when you're constantly eating alone, it can get a bit lonely to have no one but the TV (or aforementioned cat) for company.
12 When you're having a dry spell
One of the best things about having an SO is being able to get down and dirty on the regular. Sure, when you're single you can definitely have some hook-ups and friends-with-benefits, but those are usually a bit more uncertain, or can lead to an emotional rollercoaster without proper communication. With an SO, you can enjoy doing the deed whenever you want, with pretty minimal effort (usually).
Going through a dry spell when you're single can take a major toll on your stress and anxiety levels, because - aside from giving yourself some self-love - there's no way to alleviate the frustration. Plus, when you're getting intimate with an SO, your brain releases chemicals that make you feel closer to the person while also giving you a sense of blissful happiness - and who doesn't want that? Dry spells suck no matter what, but when you're single with no one to help you through it, they can definitely feel a lot worse.
11 When you need help
Maybe you don't know how to fix a flat tire or you have a leaky pipe and your landlord is useless and you can't afford the money to hire a professional. At times like that, it can really suck that you don't have someone else to turn to to ask for help. This isn't to say that women are incapable of getting their hands dirty, but if your practical skills leave a little something to be desired, sometimes you just want to have a boyfriend you can complain to who will eventually make it better.
Needing help isn't only reserved for stereotypical “guy jobs”, but also when you need help putting together something like IKEA furniture. Have you tried to do that on your own? If you need to build a table or a dresser, that stuff is HARD! Not having someone around to give you an extra hand when you're single is definitely a real bummer.
10 When you're surrounded by creeps
When you're single, you might find yourself hitting up bars and clubs more than you would if you were coupled up. Unfortunately for you, all your good friends are less willing to join you, so you have to go out with your 28-year-old mess of a friend who still thinks it's cute to dance on tables to get attention.
Aside from all the gross grinding people seem to enjoy once they've had a few drinks, you're stuck dealing with the type of creeps who can identify a single girl by sight. When you're single and out at a club with no one to protect you, you might find yourself surrounded by the type of guys you'd never be caught dead with in daylight. Getting hit on might be flattering at first, but when it's the worst type of dudes imaginable, the novelty wears off pretty fast and you're left cursing yourself for coming out to a bar like this. When you're part of a couple, you can dodge those creeps because you're less likely to put yourself into situations like this.
9 When everyone else is coupled up
When all your friends are posting photos of them and their SOs all cozied up on Instagram, or tagging them in super-sappy Facebook posts, or bragging about their recent anniversary/engagement/wedding/baby, you can start to feel like you're missing out on something worth having. Seeing our friends coupled up can be an annoying reminder of our perpetual singledom, especially if we're not single by choice (or at least reluctantly). Do you have any Facebook friends who thought it would be super cute to make a joint account? Yeah, you probably thought that was annoying as hell, but now you're wondering what it would be like to be that committed and connected to someone since it's been ages since you've had anything more than a booty call. If your core friend group is constantly talking about their SOs, it can get pretty tiring, and is definitely a sucky single-person situation.
8 When your biological clock is ticking
You're at a certain age when you think you should be settling down. Your friends are bugging you about having kids and giving you advice about the best schools and birthing methods. Your mom is wondering when you're going to make her a grandchild. Even you yourself have started feeling a bit of an ache to have a little munchkin running around.
When your biological clock is ticking and you're feeling the pull of mommyhood, your single situation can feel like a major slap in the face. Of course, you can have children without a man via IVF and sperm donors, but maybe you wish that you didn't have to do that and instead curse your singleness. With societal pressure to settle down and start a family, we sometimes put that pressure on ourselves and give ourselves a schedule as to when we should start popping out the kids. Trying to navigate that arena can definitely be more difficult when you're single AF.
7 When you're sick
We all like to be taken care of at some point, but it's never more true than when we're feeling sick. When we're a feverish ball on the couch with a bowl at our side, we all resort to being children, wishing our mommy was there to take care of us. When you have an SO, you get a caretaker as well - the kind of person who will get you a glass of ginger ale and rub your back to soothe you.
Being sick as an adult sucks, but it sucks even more when you're single and you have to drag yourself to the doctor's office for a prescription or when you have to get yourself something to eat or drink. With an SO, some of the pain of being sick is taken away and you can focus on relaxing and getting better because the person who loves you is insisting on it. And if you have kids, you have back-up when you're too sick to deal.
6 When it's New Year's Eve
If you're past the age when New Year's Eve is the last excuse of the year to get out-of-your-mind drunk (but really, that's pretty much the best part of NYE), then maybe attending a party on December 31st isn't your idea of a good time anymore. If your friend group is the type to have a big get-together, either at a house or at somewhere fancy, going dateless is just ensuring that you'll have no one to kiss when the clock strikes midnight.
True story: a few years ago, I had a low-key NYE with friends, but no boyfriend. For my midnight kiss, I tried to kiss my cat. It ran away. That is New Year's Eve when you're single in a nutshell. If it's not a cat who abandons you, it's some creepy random who's been scoping you out at night because it's like you have a neon sign that says “SINGLE” on your forehead.
5 When you're lonely
We all get lonely. It's a fact of life. It can strike us at random times when we're getting a little thoughtful, or maybe when Facebook decided to show us that six years ago we were madly in love with some guy who is now engaged to someone else. Even those in couples get lonely - it's just a part of the human condition. But, when you're single and lonely, it can feel like you're really ALONE.
Spiralling into a pit of despair is never a fun thing to do, and when you're single it can happen more frequently than you'd like, especially when you're reminded of what you're missing out on. When your friends are unavailable because of their schedules and own obligations, it can feel like you don't have anybody, whereas when you have an SO, there's always a shoulder to cry on and a person to rely on.
4 When you're the third wheel
Nothing is more uncomfortable than being the third wheel in a group when the other two are going at it like PDA is an Olympic sport. Thinking you're going out with friends becomes a lot less appealing when the other two you're joining are a couple who can't keep their hands to themselves. This isn't always the case for couples, of course. Some are able to actually have another friend hang out with them without making the third party feel like a third wheel. If, however, your couple friends aren't like that, you as the single person can end up feeling like you don't belong when you're hanging out with one or two other couples who are carrying on conversations between themselves. No one likes to be the third wheel, because it makes you realize how damn single you are. I'd rather hang out with only myself than join that party!
3 When it's Valentine's Day
Is it any surprise that Valentine's Day is so high up on this list? Valentine's Day when you're single sucks! Valentine's Day when you're in a couple sucks! Valentine's Day sucks! It's the enforced romanticism that is anything but romantic, and the subsequent depression if plans don't meet expectations. When you're in a couple, you're pressured to compress your love to show it all for this one day, and when you're single, you're stuck seeing happy couples on your Instagram feed and eating an entire box of chocolate by yourself (that last part is maybe not so bad).
Being single on Valentine's Day sucks because you're forced to listen to everyone else's plans and fake like you're totally happy for them and their lovey-dovey situation when really you'd prefer that they kindly shut up. It's not necessarily about feeling sorry for yourself, it's about feeling like the holiday just plain SUCKS.
2 When you're at a wedding
Contrary to what Wedding Crashers might have you think, weddings aren't usually where a bunch of single ladies gather to see if they can hook up with eligible men. That's what the bachelorette is for. Instead, weddings are usually attended by everyone and their plus-ones (which you maybe got on your invite, which depressed you, or you didn't, which made you mad) and old family members.
If that wedding has an open bar, then your night is somewhat saved because you get free food and booze, and maybe get to dress up nice (not always the case if you're a bridesmaid). As for the eligible men? Pretty unlikely, or pretty slim pickings. Plus, you're surrounded by people in love, sharing their love, everyone is talking about love, and you're at your table with the other extras sipping your third vodka-cranberry. At least when you have a plus-one, you have a conversation partner. Without that, it's you making uncomfortable small talk with someone's second cousin.
1 When you're home for the holidays
The holidays are almost upon us, and if you're single, you know that means you'll be facing the inevitable questions from your family members about when you're going to find a “nice boy” or if you're seeing a “special someone” or when you're going to give your parents grandchildren. What is it about holidays that makes relatives decide it's fair to grill the rest of us on our plans for the future and how those plans must revolve around finding a significant other?
In addition to the third degree, there's also the holiday parties you'll most likely attend and the meet-ups with old friends who don't know of your perpetual singledom. In between eating your weight in Christmas cookies, you have to justify why you haven't found a person to share your life with, as well as trying to explain why you're single to everyone else even though even YOU don't have an effing clue.