15 Single Women Reveal Why They Are Still Single

Why am I single? It's a question you may have asked yourself. It's a question you may not have wanted to ask yourself because the answer might be hard to swallow. The people featured here shared the reasons they believe they're single on Reddit. They looked deep down and weren't afraid to reveal what they found. Some are single by choice, some are single and happy, some are not.

You may see a part of yourself in these confessions. Their reasons for being single are easy to relate to. Like some of these people, you might still be into your ex, you might be lacking in confidence or on the other side of things, you might be enjoying your freedom or you might just be too busy for a boo right now.

Many people in relationships like to help out / badger their single friends whether they want it or not. So if you're single, it's no wonder why you would question yourself. From reading these confessions you might realize that you're not the only one who feels happy and free by being single. Or you might realize the true reasons why you're single, and what you need to work on or think about if you want to get into a relationship in the future.

15 Better Off Alone

"I'm in a social circle of women who are in their 30s and 40s, single, never married, don't have kids. Super smart, attractive, funny, kind, very accomplished and holding out for the right person to come along.

When you've learned to live fully on your own, you develop a very strong vision of what it is you want in a life partner and if you don't find someone who makes your life better than it already is, you prefer to live your life solo."

We can learn a lot from these mature ladies. It's not about settling down with someone because you feel like you have to when you get to a certain age. If nobody good enough comes along then it's better to stay single, according to these ladies. You want somebody who is going to improve your life, not drag you down, especially if you've already made something of yourself.

14 Focusing on oneself

"I set high standards. Not impossible to meet ones, but I got married young, and it didn't work out. Then I was in a long term relationship after, which wasn't a healthy one. So then I decided to work on myself… My ownership of where I went wrong in my marriage, etc. And in doing so, decided that a relationship isn't as important right now as focusing on myself. So, if a guy were to come into my life at this moment, I require more than just butterflies in the stomach."

This person has a lot of sense. Rather than jumping into another relationship with someone, right after a breakup or divorce, it's a good idea to have some time to yourself to reflect and work on yourself. In this way, you can ensure that your next relationship will be better.

13 Mental Health Issues

"Social/performance anxiety and depression. I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago because of my mental health. I felt a lot of pressure from a relationship, any relationship. Do you know how a guy would say "you are intelligent"? I would think "f*ck, now I have to act smart". Or "you look pretty". I would think "now I have to make an effort every time I see him". It was always a problem on my side. What kind of person feels more insecure when given a compliment? I am currently feeling much healthier as a single lady. Not 100% confident, but better."

People who don't suffer with mental health issues find it difficult to understand. If you have mental health issues, what you need is empathy and support. Perhaps, this lady should have been honest about how she feels about compliments and she could have received some reassurance from her partner that there was no pressure. Perhaps, she needs time to work on this issue before she can date, through counselling maybe.

12 Location, Location, Location

"I'm currently at university in the north of the U.K. I aim to move to London and most people I meet in the north want to stay up here, so I'm just going to focus on finishing uni, getting my job in London lined up and then hopefully will find someone who is similarly career focused."

Situations like this are tough. When you're studying, you might spend some months of the year in one city and some months in another. If you study abroad, it's even more difficult. It's hard to meet people if you're not settled in one place. Even if you're not a student, and you're moving to another place, it feels pointless to get involved with somebody in your current location. Some might find it easier to wait until they're settled in one place to start dating.

11 Too Much Fear

"Scared of rejection, scared of failing, scared of not being able to live up to someone's expectations."

Many of us have these kinds of fears deep down. If you've been in relationships before that haven't worked out then it's easy to think that the same could happen again. If you've been rejected before, it's easy to think that the same could happen again. We're hardwired to feel this way, to protect ourselves. Yet, if you want to meet someone then you can't be afraid of failure or it will never happen for you. You don't know if a relationship is going to fail or not, you can't predict the future. You just have to jump in and see what happens. If the relationship does fail or you get rejected then see it as a learning experience that's preparing you for the one that does work out.

10 Not Getting Out Enough

"I don't go anywhere. I go to university, work then straight back home until the next time I need to go out like to run an errand or something. That and I don't really talk to guys outside of school work or work work."

Most of us lead busy lives, and we have a lot of responsibilities to juggle. It's like with hobbies, your social life, fitness, if you want to pursue a relationship you have to make time for it, no matter how busy you are. Plus, because we all have so many things going on that's why dating apps like Tinder have become so popular. They make meeting people a lot easier for everyone.

Also, the person that shared this story needs to remember that lots of people meet their significant others at work or school. There are opportunities for him or her there.

9 Priorities

"I haven't made finding a boyfriend a priority, also I'm planning on moving across an ocean for my masters (and maybe more), and I have no idea where I'll settle, so I don't have much motivation to change that. And I'm not conventionally good looking so guys don't really fling themselves at me."

This person hasn't made it clear whether they want to be single or not. If they're cool with being single then great. Everyone has different priorities at different stages in their life and there's no rule saying you have to make finding a boyfriend or girlfriend a priority. Also, they need to know that not being conventionally good-looking can be a good thing. Lots of people find themselves attracted to unusual or unique-looking people. Being different can be very sexy. Nobody wants to date the same old boring type of person again and again.

8 Wanting What You Can't Have

"End up crushing on the person who is unavailable or not into me and becoming so infatuated with them that I don't pay attention to anyone else that I might actually have a shot with since they pale in comparison to my mind's delusions of the thing I can't have but like to be around."

We've all been in this situation before. There's something alluring about the chase. But if you find yourself constantly chasing people and not getting anywhere it can be very disheartening. In this case, it might be that the person isn't actually ready to date someone right now, so they're chasing unavailable people because, subconsciously, they know that it won't work out. You have to spend some time reflecting in order to work out if that's true of you too. And if that's not the case, you need wise friends around you who can help steer you away from unavailable people.

7 Lack Of Confidence

"Probably because instead of trying to hit on anyone, or making any attempts at romance, I sulk and tend to be really quiet or wait for another person to make conversation. Even then I usually just reply and stay quiet afterwards. I need to work on my confidence."

You don't have to be loud or a master flirt to be confident with potential dates. If you're naturally shy, don't worry about it. Some people find shyness endearing actually. Yes, it's a good idea to build your confidence but don't stop being yourself in the process. Confidence is about being comfortable in your own skin, not about being fake. Many people are a little shy until they get to know someone better. If you're shy, it might be an idea to get to know people by asking questions at first, that means you don't have to talk lots until you're ready.

6 Total Freedom

"I'm happy being single. I'm happy to only have myself to worry about and I am happy to have total freedom of choice, without having to worry how it will affect anyone else, other than myself."

Yass queen! There's nothing wrong with being single. There's nothing wrong with being happy about being single. It has its benefits, as this person well knows. You can do exactly what you want to do at all times, when it comes to going out, choosing what to eat, travel, just everything. and you don't have to deal with the drama of being in a relationship. It's baffling how coupled up people think being single is a problem that needs to be solved. It's annoying when they pity people who are single. You don't need or want their pity. Some people are just happy being by themselves, okay?

5 Bad Role Models

"My mom racked up 6 divorces, my dad had 4. Just working on my career for now. If love happens, it happens.

The likely (real) answer is that I don't put myself in positions to meet new people, and dating apps suck."

Nine divorces is a lot for someone to deal with from their parents! (We're guessing one of each of their divorces was to each other, so only counts as one overall.) We'd love to know, why so many - surely that's a record. Having seen that many divorces in their lifetime, we're not surprised this person is avoiding relationships. Maybe they can learn from their parents' mistakes, so they can do better in their relationships ? This person also shows that there isn't always one particular reason why somebody is single. Life is more complicated than that.

4 The Friend Zone

"Because I'm afraid of asking a friend out and being told no, and then our friendship becoming awkward. And slowly ever so slowly it whittles away into nothing and I never see that person again. But the only way for me to feel remotely attracted to anyone enough to date them is to get to know them over time. But by the time I get there I decide a sure friendship is better than a possible relationship."

You can be caught in a vicious circle at times. Some people like to get to know someone before they start up a relationship. But there's always the danger of not taking things to another level before it's too late. It sounds like this person values friendship over a relationship right now, so doesn't mind being in the friend zone.

3 Still Into An Ex

"I'm still in love with my ex. It's been awhile (6 months) but I'd prefer to remain uninvolved while I get over it. I've attempted to get out there some, and when I go to the bar girls talk to me, but in the end I never get much farther than getting a number and trading texts for a day before I call it off because I know that even if they are into me, I can't reciprocate in earnest. The ex is not an option either (anybody with an ex from a serious relationship can understand why)."

When it comes to getting over an ex, some find it more difficult than others and people deal with it in different ways. This person seems really smart. It wouldn't be fair to start dating someone else if they're still not over their ex.

2 Relationships Are Hard Work

"I'm single because I'm tired of being in relationships. Being in a relationship is a full-time job whether people realize that or not. It's now become a mixture of a fear of commitment, not finding the rightish person, and just genuinely enjoying going off the grid for a week without having to consistently text/call somebody. The moment it feels like work, thats the moment I hit the road. Pretty selfish and a bit cowardly, but I am the man I am."

It's not selfish and cowardly to not want to be in a relationship because of the effort it takes to make a relationship work. If you're not ready to put that work in, you can't be in a relationship. When they're ready, they will be willing to put the work in. Or they need to meet somebody they care about enough to want to put the work in.

1 Too Busy

"Do you guys ever feel like you have too many things going on in your life at this moment to even think about forming a relationship? That's how I feel. I would like a guy to talk to sure, but at this moment I don't feel like progressing further than a friend of some sort. I have been on dates but lose interest on the second or third time."

Relationships require your full attention and you don't always have the time. You need to meet someone who has a schedule and lifestyle that's compatible with yours. If you're both busy and have other stuff going on, it's less likely that somebody's feelings are going to get hurt when you don't have the time to spend together. There won't be one person sitting around waiting for the other to call.