15 Signs You Love Him Too Much

This isn't really about love, is it, dear? It's not about you loving him. It's about you, something deep inside you that maybe you haven't realized or been willing to face; it's okay, you're not alone and, trust me, you're not the first and won't be the last. Many of us have been guilty of loving someone too much. You love him too much because you ain't been loved enough and you've got so much love to give, enough to love a few people if not an army. You love him too much because no one taught you about how you should be loved. You love him too much because you are a radiant being who's doing what feels natural to her. Meanwhile, you get hurt. You get hurt because you are selfless but you're also blind, my love. The issue isn't loving him too much, it's about why you don't love yourself enough. That's where we're gonna focus and that's what's gonna make you realize that you loving him as hard as you can won't get you the love you need or deserve. Let's have a look at all the ways you're loving him too much while not loving yourself.

15 He gets away with cheating

If your man is cheating and you forgive him that is not love, girl. Tell yourself what you will, tell yourself that your love is bigger than anything, bigger than his cheating, but forgiving is one thing and being taken advantage of is another. Are you holding onto him because you don't think you deserve better? Do you have abandonment issues? Are you sure you understand what loving him means? Because truth be told, you forgiving him and letting him back in after cheating does mean you're a bigger person than most, but that doesn't mean you gotta be bigger all the time; and definitely not to the detriment of your own self-worth and life progression. Sometimes loving him too much hurts you and then where are you, girl? All stuck up in hurt without even yourself to love; and surely not him because he's out there loving another. What about loving yourself? Think about it.

14 You clean up after him

If you are cleaning up after him there's something else going on and it's really not about love. Both y'all rely on each other for different reasons. And you are calling it love. Well, to each their own. But from over here, it looks like he was looking for someone to replace his mama and he got it. He needed someone to pick up after him, cater to him, wipe his a$$ because he might not have ever learned that he should be doing that ish himself -the closest woman in his life is not his maid for hire. From over here, it looks like you need someone to look after so you feel useful, so that you feel you have a purpose, and you can get lost in taking care of him rather than taking care of yourself. You might say, It's not all that deep, but are you sure, honey? Because all of our decisions stem from somewhere deep, like childhood, trauma, and learned behaviors in our formative years. Have an honest look at things.

13 You give him a pedicure

If you are giving your man an pedicure, that's cute, I'm not gonna lie. You are really a giver. You enjoy pampering your man and you probably enjoy pampering other people. I bet people love to have you around because you are so giving and willing to put yourself out there for others. But what are you doing for yourself? And what are others doing for you? Those who receive all your love, all those dope, relaxing weekend pedicures? Are they giving back to you like you give to them? See, you might call it love and it might feel like love, but unless love is reciprocated, that could be called obsession, infatuation, addiction, dependence, or self-destruction. You take your pick, but in most cases, if that pedicure loving man ain't giving you what you give him, that doesn't mean you love him more than he loves you; that means you've tricked yourself into believing that.

12 He gets away with unacceptable behavior

If you think a man abusing you means he loves you so much that it makes him crazy, well, girl, I hate to break it to you, but somebody lied to you or you were taught the wrong way to love. So he's abusive and you think it must mean that he's deep in love and can't control his emotions, I bet he's even said something like that to you to convince you that he's not a jerk and a scumbag. Love is not abuse, in any form. Whether it's verbal, emotional, or physical, abuse is loss of control, yes, but it's also lack of respect. This boy better get his stuff together. And you'd better too, honey. People can change, it's possible, but they have to want to change and not for you, for themselves. If you think letting him abuse you means that your love is tough, it might be tough in the sense that it's thick-headed and doesn't listen to reason and logic that can save you from a lot of heartache; and save your life, too.

11 You love the way he stinks

If you love his body odor, that's cool. Whatever floats your boat; whatever turns you on. It's actually part of our animal instinct to be attracted to our mate's scent. Those smells contain pheromones that tell us, genetically, about our partners. Our olfactory sense can pick up on these messages and tell us whether or not this would be a good partner for us. Therefore, if you enjoy his body odor, it's a good sign that you two are genetically compatible and nature is telling you to go for it. This is love in an antique nature, but it serves us well, even in our modern society. Pay attention, if you stop enjoying the way he smells, that means you don't love him as much as you once did. It could also mean that something has gone wrong physically and your nose detects these small changes. Pay attention, the nose knows. Our olfactory sense is the oldest sense we have and it can tell us a lot without saying a single word.

10 You let him do all the stuff to you

If you let him get all the goods, like all the good-good stuff, that might mean you love him too much or it might mean you like giving up your good-good stuff. Each of us has our limits, our likes/dislikes, and even our fetishes. We cannot and should not judge others, least of all our fellow female sisters, but girls -some of y'all giving up all the good stuff too early, calling it love, and he's calling it a day. This is not to say you should not get intimate because hell yeah you should if you are ready, physically and mentally -getting physical is vital for many relationships and the saving grace for others. And just because you give up all the goods and do all the stuff does not mean you love him more. If you give him all that goodness, it means you might be a freak in the sheets and there's nothing wrong with that; but lord almighty, it does not mean he's getting all your love because the vagina and other body parts are not equivalent with love.

9 He uses your money

If he's coming to you like a 24/7 ATM machine, you'd better reconsider that love, child, before you get all the way broke and broken. You give him all your hard earned money, your blood and sweat, your daily toiling, your heart and soul, even your pocket change talking about, I love my man, I got his back, I look after my man, I care for him. Girl, no one is denying that. Clearly, you do that. But who's taking care of you? That's what's getting swept under the rug. While you're loving on him and giving of your all, what's he giving to you? If you get nothing in return, that's not love -he's straight up using you. However, if he's got your back like you've got his, then this is love territory, now we're talking about an even playing field and it looks like you might be winning at the game of love. Don't let anyone, any man, tell you that showing love means handing over your finances -that dude is a con artist, you'd better recognize.

8 You're always giving, but not receiving

If you are giving not just money, but other things, without getting anything back, you'd better think again about that word love you're throwing around all loosely like tea. Relationships are about reciprocation and compromise. When you need help, he gives it, and when he needs help, you give it. When you need support, he's there, when he needs support, you're there. But this one-sided thing that tends to happen to couples after a few months has given love and lovers a bad name. There's always one who's giving more than the other; and not just in small increments, but by leaps and bounds. And this oftentimes is the woman. We are givers by nature, hence nature's decision to empower us with birth and babies. Men know this; and some of them take advantage of it. If he's forever taking and leaving you empty, physically, emotionally, and spiritually, that man is not human, he's a vampire. He's not taking your love, he's taking your life-force; he's sucking the blood out of you as you live and breathe.

7 You think his farts are cute

If you think his farts are cute, okay, girl, that's for you to decide. That is loving him on a whole other level. This is not judging you, not at all. We all find ourselves loving something strange or unusual about our partners at one point or another. It's totally normal and nothing to feel bad or embarrassed about. If you laugh at his farts, right on. If y'all have your jokes about his farts, good for you. If you don't mind his farting in bed, y'all sure are comfortable. We can't say this is loving him too much, but it most definitely shows a level of comfort that makes y'all feel good to be yourselves, farts and all. You like his farts because maybe you like that he shows you all of himself, down to the smelly bits. You like his farts because maybe he's uptight and this shows that he can be chill. You like his farts because maybe it reveals a side of him, a younger, carefree side, that you don't often see. Whatever the case, love might not be the right word, but there's something there for sure.

6 He plays with your heart

If he plays with your heart, you are dealing with a non-love entity. You might let him play with your heart 'cause you like being the victim, you are comfortable there, and you think that by letting him play with your emotions, you somehow grow stronger because of it. Being down there, baby girl, is not where you belong. No one should play with you heart. And someone has done it before him and that's why you're letting this new one do it and until you correct this learned behavior, another one will do the same thing. Someone has taught you love looks and feels like this. It's not true, listen to me again -it's not true. If he manipulates you and uses your vulnerable side to get what he wants from you, to get his way -he's a creep and better get to stepping. Love can be something tender and sweet if we let it be, but it surely does not have to be pain and hurt or even deception. Love is not using the other, it's not playing with emotions.

5 You don't make him accountable

If you don't make him accountable you can consider yourself not really part of the love process; and if he's one that needs to be held accountable, he's got some things to work on, too. We enable people in very negative ways by making excuses for violent, destructive, and unacceptable behavior; each time we say it's okay, we forgive, and pray on a falling star that the person doesn't repeat those behaviors. In the beginning, that makes sense, but now that we're grown and trained, we should know that their poor decisions shouldn't be met with our poor ability to hold them accountable. When someone does wrong there are consequences. Punishment is not the opposite of love, it shows that you love, actually. How are you gonna let someone do all kinds of negative stuff without any repercussions. Basically, you're saying hurt yourself and hurt me and that's fine, we'll manage, we'll live with that. That's no way to live and that's not love. Please, see a professional should this sort of stuff be happening in your life.

4 You make excuses for him

If you are always making excuses for him, whatever the case may be, you might think you're in love with him, but our sources say differently. What are those sources? Love sources -spirits and souls that guide us into compassion and respect and light. If he's got you making excuses for him whether it be with your family or his, at his work or yours, or with friends, something is wrong. Is it that he doesn't want to show up and what's that about? Is it that he shows up but he's constantly putting his foot in his mouth or acting a fool? Why are you making excuses for him and why do you put up with that? I want to know, but those who are close to you really want to know. Maybe you have to make excuses to your family and friends why you don't see them as often as you once did. Maybe he's keeping you to himself. Do not think you are posted up in love because many times that's the road that leads to isolation. Just because you can make excuses for him doesn't mean you know him well or better than anyone else. Don't play yourself.

3 He doesn't do much for you, but he's still the greatest

If you're going all over town bragging that you have a man and you're happy as pie, yet that man you're bragging about doesn't do anything for you, your concept of loving him is wrong. That's putting him on a pedestal, one that he's probably created for himself. You might put all men on pedestals because you have some inner need for a love that they can provide and you hope that if you elevate them, they'll eventually return the favor. This is the wrong way to approach love and your idea of love requires some pretty serious internal investigation. You have to get to the root of the problem. More than likely you're not treating yourself right, you don't feel you deserve to be adored, or you don't see your splendor, and thus you get these men who quickly elevate their status while you whither away. He's not the greatest, you are, and you gotta believe that first and foremost.

2 You think the way he eats is manly

If you love how he chows down on his food, that could be some real love there. We tend to enjoy watching our partners receive pleasure. So if your man is all about eating and makes happy eating-faces and moans and groans and really gets into the whole experience, you are, if nothing else, smitten. If you enjoy watching him eat because you get aroused, okay, girl, do you. There's nothing wrong with that. He might even feel the same way about you and your eating habits. Perhaps y'all could incorporate food in the bedroom for a real luscious experience. What makes this even more special is if the food your man eats is yours. That means you have taken the time to give him love via a home cooked meal and he shows his love via the way he eats. This sounds like a very stable and healthy way to express and receive love. This is a good sign for things to come, but be careful about eating the wrong foods. You don't want to hurt him with your food, you want to give him extra years on his life, not take them away. The goal is to love each other for as long as possible.

1 You let him break your heart

If you let him break your heart it's not that you love him too much, it's that you don't love yourself enough. Normal life experience include broken hearts, breakups, heartaches, etc. But you are letting him break your heart more than once and keep letting him back in your life and you swear you're meant to be and you swear he's the love of your life and he does, too, but he can't help himself -time after time he breaks your heart. It doesn't have to be something big, it can be whatever it is he does to break your heart. We all have different thresholds. It can be anything from not including you in some travel plans to not inviting you to his parents or from kissing another girl again to getting super drunk. Whatever the case, if you're not happy and he knows these things make you the opposite of happy, yet he keeps doing them and you keep letting him do them, you need to stop, walk away, and learn to love yourself. Today.