15 Eye-Opening Facts About Dating
Our generation has the luxury of exploring many different options when it comes to dating and relationships. Never before have we had such flexibility; online dating, speed-dating and social media have created a hub of possibilities for scoring a date. It's not surprising, then, that old-fashioned dating (you know, meeting someone at a library and asking them to go for coffee) is on a major decline. Why put in all that work when we can scroll through our options first?
The bottom line is that we crave companionship, and most people want to find a partner that will compliment their life. The desire to have a happy and fulfilling love life is at the top of the list for most of us (yes, men too!) Dating can be great fun, or disastrous, depending on a few key factors. Who you're going out with, the location of the date, and of course the natural chemistry will all affect your experience.
With well-defined personal rules and boundaries, you can make the best of your dating experiences. Having clear objectives is not a bad thing. I once made a list of "non negotiables" before meeting a date for the first time. As the date progressed, I was able to see that we would be a good match! The following tidbits of information will help you plan for your next night out with your date. Knowledge is power, and it's always good to have some random, statistical information on your side in case the conversation isn't flowing. Here are 15 eye-opening facts about dating.
15 Most Couples Wait 6-8 Dates Before Going Exclusive
Oh yes, the old "are we exclusive" question that burns through our minds when we first start dating someone new! Everyone has been through this a few times. You meet someone that you really like, but you haven't had "the talk yet and you're starting to panic… big time. Is he as interested in you as you are in him? Does he want a girlfriend? Does he see other people on the side? The truth is, it's not always easy to broach this subject at the beginning of a new courtship. You want to feel and look confident, and avoid looking too needy. The good news is that most couples wait about 6-8 dates before locking in the exclusivity. By all means, stay honest and open with your date during this time, and don't fret if the topic comes up sooner… or later. Establishing trust and open communication early on will set a really good foundation for your future relationship.
14 Up to 10% of Dating Site Accounts Are Opened By Scam-Artists
Well, this is not that shocking, unfortunately. Most women using online dating sites have come across their fair share of internet creepazoids. Beware: 10% (or more) of online dating profiles are opened by dishonest people (or, robots). To keep yourself protected, block and report any oddballs. This includes anyone sending you inappropriate photos, messages or requests. Anyone that makes you feel uncomfortable should be reported, pronto. Even if you've exchanged a few messages with someone, and they "seemed nice" but suddenly busted out the nude pic requests? Nope. Move on. Aggression and intimidation of any type is not OK. Ever. If you're using online dating sites, just know that you will likely come across some less-than-normal behaviour. Protect yourself and don't share too much personal information on your profile.
13 About 33% of Online Daters Find Love
Here's a fun fact: approximately one-third of online daters end up in a long-term relationship. Another third don't, and the final third just give up and cancel their accounts. Interesting! These statistics definitely prove that online dating can be successful. So how do you get yourself into the relationship percentile, you ask? Create a profile that is honest, true to who you are and not too elaborate. Approaching online dating with a fun, light-hearted attitude is probably the best way to attract relaxed, fun daters. Don't take it too seriously, and definitely don't get too bummed out if you are "rejected" or ignored by certain users. Not everyone is the right match, and there are literally millions of people to browse through. Not getting a response from the cute guy doesn't mean there isn't another cute guy coming.
12 First Impressions Really Count
Most of us know this, but it's worth revisiting, first impressions really do count, folks! The psychology department at the University of Pennsylvania did a study on speed dating, recently. According to the results, participants involved in the study were able to decide within 3 seconds whether or not they were attracted to their match-up. Body language is an equally important non-verbal form of communication. Women have reported that the way a man is standing (before he has even spoken a word to them) accounts for up to 80% of their first impression. Only 7% of a woman's first impression is made up of what a man is saying. Clearly, confidence (or the appearance of having it) is a biggie with both sexes.
11 Exhilarating First Dates Usually Lead to Second Dates
Fun, exhilarating and thrilling first dates increase the chances that your date will fall for you. Researchers have found a correlation between danger and romantic attraction. Activities like sky-diving, mountain climbing and rafting send us into adrenaline mode, which is quite similar to the way we feel when we are really digging someone. Feeling slightly stressed or afraid can also lead us to seek out protection from our date. This can cause us to feel more attached to them, way more quickly. Physical touch is also often a factor in these kinds of activities, which can cause sparks to fly at a faster rate! So the next time someone suggests that you go boating or parachuting on a first date, say yes and expect to be pleasantly surprised! You will very likely secure a follow-up date.
10 There Are Also Places You Should NOT Go On A First Date
Ok, most of you already know this, but it's worth revisiting! Some places should be completely black-listed for first dates. Any event that involves parents, family members, friends or exes is a good starting place! I once went on a date and was horrified when the guy was at the bar we had agreed upon… early, drinking beers with a buddy. It just set a very confusing tone for the rest of the date. Even though the friend took off shortly after I arrived, it made me feel like I was friend-zoned before being given a chance. We ultimately dated for 10 months, but let's just say, he wasn't my forever guy! Dates that are overly sexual (strip clubs, swingers clubs etc;) are also really bad ideas. You want to make sure that you are in a comfortable, safe and secure spot that won't bring you face to face with any of your dates' past ghosts.
9 Trying to Get Back With An Ex Is Not A Good Dating Strategy
We've all been there. Dating gets the best of you, you feel lonely and you want to give up. You feel like anyone would be better company than no company. Low and behold, the old "let me just give my ex another shot!" move. Don't do it! Do not do it. Unless there are some seriously good reasons to get back together… just don't do it! The problem is this. You probably broke up for a reason. Whatever that reason, it was enough for you (or your ex) to end the relationship. It's normal to remember the good times that were had and feel nostalgic. The unfortunate thing is, getting back together doesn't guarantee that only good times are ahead. Unless you are both seriously invested in rebuilding a successful relationship, this move has "fail" written all over it. Move on and be open to creating a new story with a new partner.
8 A Woman Talking to The Bartender Appears More Approachable
Believe it or not, men get cold feet when it comes to striking up a conversation with a woman at a bar. Just like us, they get nervous and have moments of insecurity. A man is actually more likely to approach you if you are already chatting it up… with the bartender! Sitting at the bar is a great opportunity for meeting new people. Men, in general, feel less pressure when a conversation is already flowing; they can simply make an entry statement and not feel obligated to stick around if they are not well-received by the lady in question. Another benefit to sitting bar side? Men have said that women who are engaged in conversation with the bar staff seem more friendly and approachable, increasing the odds that you will score some digits if you're in the hot seat. Try this out solo or with a pal and see what you can reel in!
7 Almost Half Of The Singles in America Don't Date
Well, this is shocking news! There are over 54 million single people in the United States, and almost all of them have "tried" online dating. Despite this, almost half of all singles haven't been out on a date in over two years. This reflects one of the realities of the online dating world: many people browse profiles, send a few messages, but never follow up with offline meetings. Getting too comfortable alone, anxiety about meeting someone new and fear of rejection are all reasons that keep people from going out on dates. Others prefer to go out in groups instead, where the mood is more relaxed and less one-on-one. It's not a bad idea, however, to give online dating a chance. Close to 20% of modern day marriages are between couples that met online.
6 These Are Certain Dating No-No's That M Are Turned Off By
Ah, the classic no-no's of dating. Some behaviours and habits are sure to get you black-listed. Showing up late to a date- especially a first date- is disrespectful and sure to lose you some Brownie points from the get-go. Also making the list of unfavorable behaviour on a date? Talking too much, talking badly about your ex (or, just talking about your ex in general!) and behaving needy or too eager. A first date is naturally going to bring out some of your anxieties, and also of us inadvertently self-sabotage. The key is to keep calm, be yourself and don't rush to reveal too much information! Dating is not an emergency, and there is no pressure to cover every single aspect of your life in one night. Steering clear of liquid courage (ie: drinking too much alcohol to loosen up) is probably a good idea as well. If you are having a drink together, make sure to pace yourself.
5 Men Don't Want to Give Up Their Friend-Time
Oh poor little boys, they get afraid sometimes! Unsurprisingly, the biggest fear that men have when they start dating someone new is that their man time will be compromised or cut short. We know that men and women are wired differently, emotionally. Women tend to bond by communicating and sharing feelings. Men, on the other hand, show their love and affection in other ways. Bonding for a man usually boils down to one thing: providing. A man feels like he is showing love when he can provide for a woman, whether it's money or protection. It's no wonder then, that most men don't know how to react to a woman who immediately wants to talk feelings. Of course, I'm not suggesting that men are monkeys and cannot talk about emotions. It just takes them a bit longer. Don't be threatened when your guy just wants some man time. Having a night out with the boys is usually more about letting loose and having simple talk than it is about picking up women.
4 Get Comfortable With The Chase
One of the biggest dating downfalls is the desire to get too close, too fast. Generally, a too-clingy person is seen as desperate and usually friend-zoned, or worst, blocked and never communicated with again! Don't let yourself be that girl! Keeping an air of mystery is super important in the beginning phases of any relationship. It might be difficult to keep yourself from texting too much, or being too available, but trust me, it will pay off. Have fun with the chase! I'm not suggesting you play games and act dismissive or mean, but giving a man some time between hearing from you will only cause him to desire you more. A good rule of thumb for texting is to have a 60%/40% ratio. Let him text you 60% of the time, and you give back with 40%. This will ensure you're never over-doing it and being too available. It will also help the relationship to unfold more naturally and holistically… with a better chance of resulting in love!
3 It's Perfectly OK Not To Kiss On A First Date
One of the biggest stresses of a first date is the age-old question: to kiss or not to kiss? Naturally, this doesn't need to be decided before you embark on your date. Many factors will influence whether or not the night will end with a smooch. Chemistry during the date, your level of comfort with each other and your attraction to each other. The good news is that not kissing on a first date is totally normal. In fact, most couples reported that their first kiss happened on date # 2. There is no dating rulebook, and each pair is different and unique. It is better to take your time getting to know the person you are dating and to establish a good connection before leaning in for that kiss. Nothing is more awkward than a premature, forced smooch: wait it out until the moment feels right.
2 A Man Who Smells Good Is More Prone To Getting The Girl
This comes as no surprise! A man who smells great is way more likely to attract women. Women are particularly attracted to pheromone-based scents; musky colognes and aftershave products activate feel-good hormones in a woman's brain. Since women reportedly have stronger senses of smell than men, it's no surprise that a man with bad breath or body odour is low on the list of desirability. Clean, fresh and sweet-smelling men tend to get more dates and get more callbacks. So the next time you go on a date, be sure to get close enough to take a sniff! A man's cologne can say a lot about his style, let your nose, and your hormones, do the judging.
1 Paying Attention Goes A Long Way
This is probably the most relevant part of dating. Paying attention to the person you are on a date with really does go a long way. Getting engaged in what they are saying by asking questions, adding in personal references where appropriate and nodding are all super great ways of showing interest. Even better if you remember something they told you on a prior date or via text message and find a way to bring it into conversation. Everyone wants to feel like what they say, do and feel matters. By paying special attention to what your date is saying, you will be creating a safe space where they feel comfortable and happy to open up and share things with you.