14 Things You Should Do Before A First Date
After four disheartening hours of left swiping on Tinder you've finally swiped right and it's a match! A few awkward but promising messages back and forth leads you to a date this weekend and you instantly feel the nerves. If you're not a seasoned dating pro a first date can be a horrifying experience and everything that leads up to the date can leave you feeling like Drew Berry Moore in “Never Been Kissed.” Everyday closer to the date waters your nerves and they continue to grow and grow. You're over analyzing the whole thing and wondering what you'll wear or where you will go and it's all become too much. You're hoping for the best but considering the worst and you're really just hoping it doesn't turn out to be a Patrick Bateman situation. Here are a few things you can do to feel more prepared and relaxed before a seemingly uncomfortable and extremely awkward first date:
14 Relax
First of all you need to take a chill pill. Your date is probably just as nervous as you are and if they aren't then they've probably been around a few blocks. Don't think about it too much. Light some candles and just bask in the moment and appreciate what you still have left of your single life because things are about to get interesting and games will be played. Enjoy not having to worry about what time or day you'll text him back and what move you'll make next. So just take it easy and try not to stress out too much about it. Dates are supposed to be fun and if you go into it with nervous energy it will transfer into your night. Give yourself a facial and take a warm bubble bath. Treat yourself and feel good about yourself before you go into this date. If you feel good you'll look good and loving yourself is an obvious way to boost your self-confidence.
13 Figure Out What You Want
It's good to know what you want to get out of a date before you go into it. Whether you're just looking for a friend with benefits or a long term boyfriend it's good to know ahead of time so that you can steer the date in the right direction. While you're plans and intentions may change after meeting them it's still good to have some idea about where you want it to go. It may turn out that he is all brawn and no brains so you may go from having long-term intentions to very short-term intentions. You can make it very clear what your expectations are on a first date and it's good to ask questions. If you know what you want you can send your date the right message and get more for your bang out of the evening.
12 Google Him
Do a little online stalking before you meet this guy IRL. He might have a criminal record that you don't know about or maybe you're lucky enough to find out that you're both huge Linkin Park fans. If you're really lucky you may get some info about his past relationships. All the while don't do too much digging because you may find out more than you want to. However, it's good to get a little background on the guy or girl before you come face to face with the real deal. You might find out that he or she is a hardcore “My Little Pony” fan (shout out to the bronies) and you're just not feeling it. If you really want to go there go full stalker and find out where he lives, which school he went to and where he works. Just be careful not to reveal to your date that you already know his life story when you sit down to meet him.
11 Tell Your Friends
You're going to want to tell your friends about this future date for a number of reasons. Number one, they'll know where you were and who you were with if you turn up missing. Tell them who the person is and where you plan on going for the date. Number two; your friends will provide you with a lot of support and encouragement. They will make you feel better about the situation and cheer you on. Number three; if the date turns out to be a disaster you might have to depend on them to make a quick escape. Steer clear of telling one of your parents about the date because they will freak out over the fact that you may or might not be meeting someone you met on the Internet. Your closest friends will understand and check on you periodically through out the date to make sure you're still breathing.
10 Plan An Emergency Escape
More often than not when you go on a first date it ends up being a total catastrophe. Picture yourself sitting across from a guy that won't stop talking about his ex girlfriend that broke up with him two days ago. Or imagine meeting up with a guy that was a whole four inches shorter than you and you're wearing flats! All you can think about is how you're going to get out of there. It's good to have a plan of escape ahead of time so that it's not entirely obvious that you're lying when you suddenly rush out because you remembered that you desperately needed to deep condition your hair that night. Your friends will come in handy when it comes time to elaborate an excuse to ditch your date. Have one of them repeatedly call you, they'll say something ridiculous on the other end, and you'll apologize then leave in a flash.
9 Plan Your Outfit
Its good to plan what you will wear ahead of time so that you're not stressing out and throwing clothes all over your room 10 minutes before you need to leave. Pick out a couple of options that all portray different sides of your personality. One of your options should represent the super sexy side of you while one should represent your conservative innocent side and your last option should be a little bit of both. Make your decision dependent upon your intentions for the night and your date. It's always a good idea try and mix in all sides of your personality and show who you really are. You'll also want to be prepared ahead of time and get an idea of where you are going on your date so that you're not over or under dressed for the occasion. You also want to avoid wearing heels if he's taking you somewhere that involves outdoor activities.
8 Shower
You're probably wondering why this is even on the list, as if you don't shower everyday. This should be a given but also a reminder. It goes a lot deeper than being something you habitually do everyday. A shower before a date not only relaxes you and cleanses you of all your past relationship drama it makes you smell good. Think of it as sort of a baptism, you are riding yourself of the ghosts of your relationship past. A first date can be a new start and water often represents purity, healing and cleansing. Your time in the shower should be a time of reflection and appreciation. This is the time where you can really make some decisions about where you want this date to go. Or perhaps you need to shave your entire body before you go on this date (just in case right?) You'll feel better after a shower and more confident about what is ahead. Freshly shaven legs can really boost your ego.
7 Clean Your Room
Ok, I know what you're thinking and you're wrong. The purpose of this is not to make him think you would be an amazing wife when he spends the night after one too many drinks, or to make him believe that you're super organized and clean. This is also a time to cleanse and clear your mind. Your room is often a reflection of your life so if you get that sh*t in order it won't be so easy to tell that your life is often times a wild ride with no end or destination. Get rid of some old things, like your ex boyfriends flannel that you sleep in every other night and appreciate what you already have going in your life by displaying some of your greatest achievements. Hang up your college diploma or that employee of the month plaque and give yourself a daily reminder of how amazing you are!
6 Revaluate Your Life
Think about where you are in your life and where you want to go. Re-visit your ten-year plan (if you have one) and get back on track. This will allow you to be clear with your date. You'll be able to ask him specific questions about his life and see how he fits into yours. Going into a date when you are unsure of yourself can end up being awkward and confusing or you may end up doing some things you didn't really want to. Think about where you want to see your self in the future and how you are going to get there right now. This way if your date isn't what you're looking for you can be candid in letting him know how you feel. Write down a list of goals you have for this year and for the next five years. You'll feel more confident going into a date after you make it zone in on where you want your life to go.
5 Meditate
Meditation is a great way to relax and find your center before a nerve wrecking day. There are many ways to mediate so don't worry about the technical stuff. Just sit for at least two minutes preferably in silence or with soothing music. Just remain present in the moments before you have to go meet up with someone that may potentially do one or more of three mentally exhausting things: break your heart, fall in love with you or be a total waste of time. Meditation allows you to mentally prepare for the brain workout that you're about to go through while either trying to figure your date out or trying to figure out how to leave early. So sit back, relax, breath slowly and enjoy the moments before you have to sit down with a complete stranger and try to convince them you're not insane with deep seeded commitment issues.
4 Take A Disco Nap
Naps are a good way to rejuvenate yourself and taking one before a first date will keep you awake and energized all night. If you go into it tired from a longs day of work or school you won't be able to be your best self. You want your date to know you're busy but not exhausted. Plus sleep keeps your skin looking good. A good nap is like a restart it's a good time to recharge your batteries. Limit your naptime to 20-30 minutes to avoid feeling groggy and disoriented. Set an alarm on your phone to make sure you don't oversleep. According to The National Sleep Foundation a 20-30 minute nap can help improve mood, alertness and performance. Taking a nap too early or too late in the day can also affect your nighttime sleep so try to take your nap between A nap will ensure that you'll be in the mood to sit down and get to know someone better. Wake up feeling ready to take on the world and this date.
3 Have A Drink
Make yourself a drink before you're about to leave or while you're waiting for him to show up. This will ease your nerves and make you feel more comfortable. Don't over do it and just stick to one, you don't want to be hammered by the time you come face to face with your date (that's not cute.) This also gives you time to figure out what you'll be drinking the rest of the night. If you start with dark liquor stick with dark alcohols for the rest of the night. Ordering your own drink will show your date that you're a woman that knows what she wants and this isn't your first rodeo. If you let your date order for you he'll believe that he is running the show so unless you're into that be confident with your drink choice. Mixing can make you sick and we don't want an exorcist moment at the dinner table. So keep the drinks to a minimum and relax.
2 Pleasure Yourself
Another way you can go into a first date feeling confident and refreshed is to have a little private fun. Diddle your lady parts before your date. That's right, please yourself and give your self a big O. This will ease some tension and relieve your nerves. This can also be a precautionary measure to prevent you from going all the way with him. If you've already taken care of business you'll feel less tempted to go home with him at the end of the night and make the bed rock. If you're seeing something serious out of this date it's good too hold off on having sleepovers during the first date. Masturbating relaxes you emotionally and physically. So if you haven't already, invest in a vibrator and get to know your body. The release of endorphins from masturbating will also make you feel better about meeting someone you hardly know. Along with the confidence booster you won't feel the pulsating urge to immediately have a seat on his face.
1 Flake
The last and final step for being fully ready for your first date is harder than it seems and it may come as a surprise but you have to trust the game. Call the whole thing off! You're probably wondering why this is on the list of things to do before a first date. You've done all these things to prepare only to miss out on the whole event all together. Here is why you should totally flake and reschedule you're first date. If at first you appear to be a little bit too busy for him he'll become more interested. Men are more attracted to women that have their own life and their own schedule as compared to a woman that is sitting by the phone waiting for their call. So let him know at least 3-5 hours before the date that you actually can't make it but you would love to reschedule for another night. Don't give him too many details about why you have to skip out but make it clear that you still want to see him sometime in the future. Now your nerves are gone and you can sleep like a newborn baby (for now.)
