Is She Into You? The Ultimate, Ultra-Covert Signs She is Into You
Not sure about her interest level and wondering, is she into you? Here are all the ultra-covert, easy-to-miss signs that'll reveal what she doesn't say.
It's the stuff of fictional romance and erotica to know whether a girl is feeling your mojo even when she tries to keep her own feelings secret. She'll even wonder to herself who this guy is… the one who seems to be able to read her emotionally - veil or no veil. So is she into you? Read on, and you'll know in no time!
Is she into you? The 7 ultra-covert signs you can never miss
Women generally cultivate their social skills earlier than men and can therefore become tricky to read by the time we begin courting them. I still think of a half-dozen girls in my past who were really, really into me without me realizing. Thankfully, I've learned a few tricks since - in fact, 7 in particular - and they're all great for reading:
- A girl who's shy about her feelings for you
- A girl who's undecided but curious about you
- A 'hard-to-get' girl who wants you to take the lead
- A girl giving out mixed signals
So, let's dive in…
#1 If her eyes are locked onto yours and she leans in, she's probably into you. So you're talking to a girl. She's locked onto your face - mostly your eyes. And she's leaning towards you like a crane, as if peering into your soul. You're thinking, 'do I have something on my face?' But here's why this is a MAJOR sign that she is into you…
- If she leans into you, this is a sign that she feels compelled by the way you talk and describe things and express yourself, and your general aura of being - something about you is pulling her in.
- She's also checking whether you can handle her scrutiny without crumbling. The more intensely she peers right into your eyes, the more she is trying to make sure you are the real deal.
- This is a woman's version of a guy checking out a girl's butt - she's checking out your strength by closely studying your face and pupils for micro-signs of honesty or dishonesty, confidence or nervousness, and trustworthiness or untrustworthiness. Much of this is subconscious.
Overall, the leaning-while-scrutinizing body language tells you she's curious about you and probably a sign that she is into you *as long as you actually are who you say you are*.
Her behavior is an ultra-covert signal that she finds hard to disguise. She needs to know more, to figure you out in your essence - your level of status, confidence, intelligence, and so on. And so she leans in magnetically.
When this happens, just run with it! You can't build on an interaction with a woman who's not interested in the first place, so if you're getting this, you're in the game!
#2 If her pupils look like saucers, she's probably into you. If a girl gazes into your eyes intently and even leans in but her pupils look like tiny dots, this is an indication *perhaps MAJOR one* to back away and give her more personal space - cool things down on the flirting side and build friendly rapport!
However, if she looks away or at you but her pupils are like saucers, this is a sign she's emotionally happy to be in your company and feels open inside. Depending on the context and her type of personality, you can then perhaps be more suggestive or subtly build physical contact as you converse.
Pupil dilation is generally a sign of human pleasure. Many guys are oblivious to this ultra-covert, automatic response, but if you can learn to recognize it, you can get an idea of a woman's level of attraction to your vibe.
I can't tell you how reliably surprised I've been to find that I could kiss a girl with her being very receptive to it, just by my noticing her pupils were bigger than looked ordinary.
#3 If she seems to look everywhere but at you, she's probably into you. This one's counter-intuitive and is especially the case if you're standing close to each other and have a good socially acceptable reason to communicate.
It can also be the same if she's some distance away but near enough to acknowledge you. Eye contact avoidance is so covert because if a woman is looking around everywhere but at you, it's so easiy to interpret that as dislike or disinterest.
However, even if a girl's into you, she might be too nervous or intimidated to let you know. I've even been on a date with a girl who seemed more interested in her phone than in me. I told her: 'the way you look at your phone is kind of cute. I like that you're a little shy.' She admitted that she was, in fact, a little nervous but enjoyed my company.
Other reasons for a girl avoiding eye contact might include:
- Needing more time to get to know and trust you
- Perhaps she's playing it cool
- She might be in a committed relationship and not want to tempt the devil
- She may want you to work a bit for her attention. You can detect if she's trying to hide her curiosity by slyly trying to catch her checking you out - give her a cheeky smile and wink if you do.
#4 If she finds reasons to touch you, she is into you. Maybe she's touching your arm whenever she laughs, or physically moving very close to you, or bumping into you - she doesn't seem to mind this physical contact and even initiates it. She may not even know why she's doing it, but this is a major sign that she is into you.
Even if a girl is comfortable touching you, it doesn't necessarily mean she wants you for an intimate partner - she may just enjoy tactile communication. Many of us feel most connected to others when they demonstrate touch - handshakes, playful elbows, hugs, slaps on the back and so on.
However, the very fact that she feels comfortable enough to initiate touch is a green light that she feels open around you. It can also indicate that she wants to also feel your touch. The only way to know how far she is willing to receive and share touch is to use common sense:
- Consider context
- Return her touch in a similar way
- Playfully gauge her sexual interest by noticing something attractive or cute about her like, 'your nose scrunches up in a cute way when you laugh' and notice how she reacts
#5 If she reacts to you emotionally, she is into you. You might be like 'duh' to this one, but it's easy to overlook it. Ever had a dramatic argument with your girlfriend? She's in a whirlwind of emotions.
To her friends and family, you are to blame for everything wrong with her life right then at that very moment. But once all is resolved, the two of you have the most intense sex of your lives together…
Why does this happen? Is she into you or does she hate your guts? The more we invest in something emotionally, the more valuable that thing appears. Emotion is nature's way of getting us to focus on what matters most in any situation. In other words, if she's emotionally locked on to you, she is also potentially very into you in that moment. It's only a matter of converting that emotion by taking the lead.
Emotional charge also plays out in friendly communication. Let's say you're talking to a woman. She gasps in shock, laughs in outburst, her vocal pitch rises, and she seems excited or engaged.
All of these are the sorts of things that can happen in platonic interactions. However, if you are looking for the potential for intimacy, this is an excellent start - it's something very useful to work with.
This even extends to texting. I've found a strange pattern in my dating experience: when a girl texts using lots of exclamation marks and emojis, this often means she's already really into me, trusts me enough to want to be playful in general, which leaves lots of freedom to do things like hug, hold hands, pick her up, be bolder with my humor, and so on.
#6 If she breathes hot and heavily when you move close to her, she's probably hot and heavy for you… and, of course, she is into you. Now, hot and heavy breathing may be a not-so-covert sign that we're heading into hot and steamy territory. This one is incredibly important - some girls don't give away much intentionally, but this sign tells all…
I remember this French girl that I had a short romance with. She was a perfect example of the above paragraph - a great poker face, but she turned on chemistry-wise with me more than an amplified electric guitar.
Every time I got close to her, her chest would rise as if she couldn't control her lungs from suddenly sucking in air. When I took this ultra-covert message as a sign to act and initiated a kiss, her whole body seemed to expand and tremble with the emotions tearing through her body, and she seemed unable to control her breathing.
If a girl is breathing harder whenever you two are physically near each other, this can be an enormous sign she has an intense physical attraction towards you. It still doesn't necessarily mean that she's ready to be fully sexual with you. You have to lead, make a few moves, and check for her response along each stage of the way.
Note: always check if she's reacting positively and not negatively.
#7 If she finds reasons to be around you, she is into you. Ever caught a girl you're talking to swap a side-glance with her friend? Then in a split instance, the friend finds a reason to disappear, leaving the two of you alone together?
You thought you saw it happen, but brushed it off. Or a girl approaches you asking for directions to somewhere - smiling, laughing, and opening conversation throughout. You wonder to yourself how you began chatting with a stranger.
Many times at school, I also found myself scratching my head as to why a girl suddenly popped up and became visible in my life. For example, after featuring in a short movie *played to my embarrassment by a school friend* suddenly a new girl not even from my class appeared. She showed up more and more. For example, as I would wait for classes to start, I became conscious of her standing near me.
This happened again and again until I realized she was hanging around in the places I was. Next thing I knew, her friend cornered me in a hallway and asks randomly 'do you like her?' The last resort for this girl was to have her friend indirectly let me know she was into me. Thankfully, I'm no longer such a dummy with this sign!
So is there a girl who always seems to be where you are? Don't expect her to tell you why, just take it as a positive sign that she is into you. Because women have less direct agency when it comes to starting relationships. They will often try to tell you they're into you by just being interested in you and what you're up to.
Context matters here, but the question to consider is… 'is there any other reason for her to be here?' Imagine you were all among a group of people busily chatting and networking, and a girl was standing next to you. Well, her being next to you might be by chance. However, if you can't see an explanation, or if there are additional signs she is into you, just assume you have the Lynx Effect.
So the next time you find yourself confused and wondering, is she into you, remember it's all in a woman's eyes, emotions, touch, and breath. Pay attention to these subtle signals, and you'll know her secret desires.
