Why Is Physical Attraction Important in a Relationship?
Why is it important to maintain physical attraction with your partner, despite several years of dating? The answers below may surprise you! By Danielle Anne Suleik
I've heard this countless times in the span of my life and it never gets old: “If a person really likes you, they will accept you the way you are.” I would like to scoff at that sentiment, but it makes a very good point. You should not change who you are in order to make someone like you, but you do need to present yourself the way you would want to be liked.
To put the issue to rest, there is no such thing as an UGLY person. However, there is such a thing as an UNATTRACTIVE one. So, what makes a person unattractive?
The answer is that unattractive people exist only through an individual's eyes. Something that seems unattractive to you may seem like the epitome of all hotness to me. Attraction is subjective, but it is very important when it comes to relationships.
Why is physical attraction important in a relationship?
It should not be your biggest concern when it comes to relationships, but it does pose as an initial basis for whether a person will end up liking you or not. No matter how you first started out, whether online, pen pals or a blind date, your physical appearance will always be scrutinized by your potential partner.
Consider it the luck of the draw, but a person will only see you as attractive if they have been conditioned to perceive you that way. Whether you're tall, skinny, large, chubby or whatever else you can describe yourself to be, you can never control the way a person can be attracted to your physical appearance.
In order to form a relationship with you, potential partners will first consider your appearance, because they are biologically programmed to do so. As animals, we are conditioned to find a mate that can aide in our survival. This means that our partner has to be healthy, agreeable and able to carry their own weight in a relationship.
If it's ingrained in our genetic makeup, it means that it is a tool for survival. If you look at it from the initial stand point, physical attraction is significant in a relationship, because it is the basis of mating and reproduction.
What about people with different sexual orientations?
It's all the same in a sense. Mating is the primary activity, but reproduction isn't necessarily the goal. The same hormones that are secreted when a man and woman have sex are the same ones that are produced no matter who you sleep with.
Compatibility in terms of physical attraction begins this cycle and no one is exempt from that scenario no matter who it is they want to have sex with. So, in order to engage in any sexual activity, two people must be attracted to each other physically before anything other than companionship comes into fruition.
If that's the case, why do people think that models are the most attractive people on earth?
No, they don't. People perceive celebrities, models and people who look like them as aesthetically pleasing, nothing more. If you look at it realistically, a person will appreciate a model passing by without having the urge to ask him or her out.
If you consider the most beautiful or the most handsome person in school, a lot of people will like them. It's because these people are the ones who look healthy, happy and thriving. They are the most attractive because they are the most biologically enticing creatures in a single environment.
What if they look better than me?
This is why the topic of physical attraction in a relationship has become so important. People think that being attractive is a competition. In a sense, it is - but we are human beings. The population count allows us the convenience of not having to compete like we would in the jungle. There are PLENTY of other fish in the sea.
The person who you think is more attractive than you can be unattractive for someone who thinks that you are the hottest person in the room. Never forget that thought, because the only way you will fail to find your own partner is because you have confined yourself in a place where it is impossible to find one. Whether it's in your head or at that usual bar you frequent, you control your fate when it comes to meeting someone new.
So, how can you become an attractive person?
In terms of physical attraction, let's look at what many perceive is the best possible appearance that a person can obtain:
Women are expected to have:
# Big boobs
# A slim figure
# A delicate face
# Small features
Men are expected to have:
# A tall build
# A handsome face
# Supple hair
# A chiseled body
Is that really achievable for even a tenth of the global population? Maybe. But if you're not part of that statistic, you immediately assume that you are unattractive. We're here to destroy that unreasonable notion and show you what physical attributes can make a person really attractive.
What makes a person physically attractive?
Everyone has a different take on the features they find attractive. Some people are attracted to a certain body type, while others like to look at specific features like an aquiline nose or smooth hands. Despite this, there are still some general criteria for attractiveness that your partner will consider, despite already being in a relationship with you.
If you have these positive attributes, great! If you don't, you may want to consider improving on them, lest you allow your partner's attraction to you to wane, and you let their eyes wander elsewhere.
#1 Body type. You don't need to be thin in order to be attractive. You have to look healthy, though. If you look like you're about to keel over from the lack of muscle in your anorexically atrophied body or if you're carrying the weight of five people with your tiny ankles, there will be less people who will say you're attractive.
All you need to be is healthy. Check you BMI (Body Mass Index) and consider your options. If you're on the verge of a deadly disease because of your unreasonable weight, you need to think twice about whether attracting a person should be your primary concern.
#2 Skin. You think glowing skin is the best way to achieve peak physical attractiveness? It's not. People are subjected to uncontrollable skin problems like acne, dryness and skin diseases. If you have these, don't immediately assume that you're unattractive. It will only pose as a problem because it is another sign that you're not healthy. If it's an extreme condition, you need to get it checked by a doctor. If it's not, live a clean, hygienic and healthy lifestyle and you'll be good to go.
#3 Grace. No need to walk around like the Duchess of Cambridge. All you need to do is consider your posture and avoid wearing clothing and shoes that can hinder your ability to move freely. You can look good by being comfy in your skin, but not enough that you're on the verge of developing osteoporosis. Shoulders back, chest out, butt out. Remember those three things and you'll look like the tallest and most confident person in the room.
#4 Clothing. Do not splurge on a closet full of signature-brand items unless you can afford it. It's not the practical way to go about using fashion in order to increase your attractiveness. The best way to maximize your clothes in order to look good is to buy ones that fit right. Fashion is expressive, so there is no set standard to what you should wear. Wear what feels good to you, but please wear something that fits you.
#5 Eloquence. Dialects, accents and vernaculars don't need to be changed in order to attract someone. What you need to work on is what comes out of your mouth. Be considerate about other people's feelings. Observe tact. Avoid offending other people, and be polite. Apart from talking like a pro, you need to listen like a pro. Always listen when a person is talking to you, and acknowledge what they have to say. Those are the conversation tools you need in order to become attractive.
#6 Hygiene. This is probably the most important aspect of attracting someone with your physical attributes. No matter how pretty or handsome you think you are, it won't mean a damn thing if you look like you haven't showered in days. You need to smell good as well. So, brush your teeth and use body products with a pleasant smell. Cleanliness is a sign of good health and attractiveness.
These are the attributes that make up the bulk of a person's physical appearance. The main goal is not to change what you already have, but to improve on it. Whether it's your body, your clothing or the way you talk, the change that needs to be done is aimed at turning you into a healthy individual.
If you noticed the subject about biology, animals and genetics, it's the only reasonable assumption when it comes to physical appearance. A person will like you for who you are, but it's your job to keep yourself in good condition, not just for your partner, but more for yourself!