How to be Social When You Hate It and Just Want to Be Alone
Not everyone is born a social butterfly, but sometimes learning how to be social is necessary for life. Here's how you can come out of your shell.
Some people are just naturally great at being social. They enjoy it. They are happy to be out and about getting to know new people in new situations. And many others, however, don't really know how to be social and in fact, absolutely hate being social. They don't like talking to new people and would rather just sit inside all day.
However, that's just not always a possibility. Nobody can just sit inside all day and avoid socializing forever. Believe me, I've tried. Sometimes dealing with people is just too exhausting, and it gets overwhelming from time to time. But there are also times when it's essential.
Why some people hate socializing
It might seem strange that some people don't want to go out and just meet new people. Or even just talk to friends! Because yes, even hanging out with your friends is considered socializing. So why do some people hate even being with their friends?
The truth is, it just exhausts some people. Introverted people have a tendency to grow tired by having to interact with others. So, it's not necessarily that some people hate socializing, it's that they hate becoming exhausted so easily.
Reasons you may need to be social
Before we actually get into learning how to be social, you may be wondering, “why?” Well, socializing is useful for a number of situations and here are the most common:
#1 A job interview. Job interviews basically require you to be social. If you walk into an interview and basically seem like you don't want to talk to anyone, they won't want to hire you - especially if the job requires you to interact with other people. Therefore, knowing how to be social in this situation is crucial if you want to get the job.
#2 Family gatherings. Now, if your family knows you and knows you're not the most social of people, they may be okay with you skipping out early. However, if your family pretty much requires you to be there - or they'll be angry if you hide away somewhere - you need to be able to socialize in order to make sure you don't start any conflicts.
#3 Work events. This is a big one. If you're not social at work events or you act like you hate being there, people will start to take notice and it won't look good. It could even prevent you from moving up in the company or getting that promotion.
#4 School. School is crappy. We all know this, but we all know you have to be social at school from time to time. Your grades could suffer if you're not willing to talk to others and participate in class.
#5 Networking. One of the best things you can do for your career - no matter what job you have - is to network. Getting to know people can open up connections you never would've had otherwise, and you have to social in order to do this.
How to be social when you hate it
There's no doubt that you actually have to be social every now and then. But if you absolutely hate it, you'll find difficulty being social and looking like you want to be somewhere.
You may be able to be social, but it'll be obvious that you hate it. With some practice, it'll seem like you really love socializing. Here are some tips for how to be social when you hate actually being around other people.
#1 Relax. You have to calm down. I know how hard that is to do when you're forced to do something you absolutely hate, but it's essential for coming across like you actually want to be there. Take some time to mentally prepare yourself by taking a few breaths and calming your mood.
#2 Find your “happy place.” Think of a happy place. That may sound cliché, but you have to get yourself into a good mood before you can go and socialize with people. Doing this will help you get into a positive mindset, and it'll even make the socializing a lot less painful.
#3 Remember what it's for. You're socializing for a reason. Maybe it's so you can get the promotion you've been after for years, and maybe it's just to maintain friendships with people who are important to you. Although you may not always want to do what you're doing, it's for a reason. Remembering that can make it easier.
#4 Avoid specific people who make it difficult. If you want to know how to be social even though you hate it, avoiding certain people and situations that make it worse will make it much easier to do. You'll be able to maintain a positive mindset if you're not bogged down by the negative things you hate about socializing.
#5 Take breaks from the socializing. If you have to go outside and sit alone for a little while, do it. Anything that will help you decompress from socializing - even if it's only for a minute - will help you socialize better. The more you can recuperate, the better you will be at socializing, too.
#6 Don't socialize too much back to back. Don't agree to go to different events all weekend long. This is such a bad idea - especially if you hate socializing. You'll be way too exhausted, and it'll be nearly impossible to socialize in a way that seems like you actually want to be there.
#7 Stick with a friend. If you have a social butterfly friend, bring them along with you! This allows you to kind of sit back and let them take the reigns. It also makes you seem like you're being much more social than you are - which is a huge bonus.
#8 Practice socializing more. If you hate socializing, the only thing that's going to make it better is having more positive experiences doing it. Therefore, you should get out and socialize more in order to get the hang of how to do it the right way. Obviously, you have to make sure not to do it too often, but just enough to get you used to it.
#9 Go to a familiar place. Being somewhere you like can help you feel less hatred toward socializing. When you're actually in a place that brings you happiness - even if other people are around and you hate that - it'll ease your mind and make it much easier to socialize with others.
#10 Make sure you're well-rested beforehand. Don't go into a big event already tired. If you hate socializing, it's probably because it's very draining for you. Therefore, you have to make sure you're well-rested so you won't just zonk out and get crabby really easily.
Socializing is really easy to some people who have a natural gift for it. Others have to work hard in order to even get to the socializing because they just hate it that much. These tips for how to be social will make it less daunting in no time.
