You Should Never Marry A Guy If He Does These 15 Things
Marriage is one of the biggest changes you can make in your life. It's something ethically important to be perfect when you make that choice in your life when you meet that amazing person you fall in love with. Sometimes we find ourselves in a serious relationship and we didn't know the person fully until something major happens, and sadly that sometimes happens after the fact of marriage. With this list, I hope to help you all out so you can spot the red flags a mile away instead of disregarding them until it's too late. Everything from self-care to caring about you, this list covers all the basics when it comes to making sure the guy is as perfect as you think. You should never marry a guy if he does these 15 things, trust me.
“Toxic relationships are dangerous to your health; they will literally kill you. Stress shortens your lifespan. Even a broken heart can kill you. There is an undeniable mind-body connection. Your arguments and hateful talk can land you in the emergency room or in the morgue. You were not meant to live in a fever of anxiety; screaming yourself hoarse in a frenzy of dreadful, panicked fight-or-flight that leaves you exhausted and numb with grief. You were not meant to live like animals tearing one another to shreds. Don't turn your hair gray. Don't carve a roadmap of pain into the sweet wrinkles on your face. Don't lay in the quiet with your heart pounding like a trapped, frightened creature. For your own precious and beautiful life, and for those around you - seek help or get out before it is too late. This is your wake-up call!” ― Bryant McGill
15 Doesn't Like Animals
One of the biggest deal breakers for me is when a guy does not like animals. Pets are innocent creatures that rely on you to care for them. It is one thing if they have allergies, not what I am talking about, but when they completely will not give an innocent animal a chance, that' i ridiculous. It is even worse when you are with a guy and you already have a pet, and it is a deal breaker for him. That is unreasonable and not compassionate one bit! I have known friends who have had to put their loving pet up for adoption simply because the man in their life gave them two choices, the pet or him. Like whatttt?! If anyone would ever give me that ultimate, you bet it's him who is getting kicked to the curb. That is so selfish to ask someone to get rid of their pet, it actually becomes part of your family. You wouldn't ask someone to get rid of a sibling you don't like, would you? It is an unfair situation to be put in, period.
14 Not Open Minded
When a guy you love is not open minded about things in your life and even his, there is a huge problem! Being open minded is one of the most important qualities to have! When he turns down opportunities to spend time with you, just because of some inner insecurity or just plain laziness or opposition to the plans, it is a huge problem that can cause resentment in a relationship, which usually a relationship has a hard time coming back from. It is always important to have an open mind and an open heart when in a relationship, knowing that both the individuals will be there to support as much as they can. How can you form an opinion about something you have never tried before. You need to give things a chance before you decide whether it is something you want to try again or not. You never know until you try it, is the key piece of advice you need to tell your partner!
13 Breaks Promises
When a guy breaks his promise to you, that is something to look out for, that usually means he is very unreliable when it keeps happening over and over again. You want to be able to trust in what your man says instead of always wondering if he will go back on his word. Dealing with broken promises generally eats away at you, it is an extremely frustrating situation to find yourself in. After you have a talk with him, just be forward and ask him why he never keeps his word when there is an agreement, if he tells you a legitimate answer then that is something you both can work on, but if it is something completely outrageous, certain measures need to be brought to light. Such as not even being together anymore because it is a waste of everyone's time, and most importantly your time, the one who has been trying to bring your partner closer and have fun!
12 Doesn't Value Your Rules
When there are ground rules set by a couple for their relationship, reasonable things like no lying, no cheating, you know, the givens! When they are completely disregarded frequently by your partner, it is one of the biggest signs to not pursue this relationship anymore. When that promise of trust and love is utterly betrayed, you need to get out of that toxic relationship. You deserve to find a partner that values even the simplest of rules that make you comfortable and vice versa, that is what everyone deserves. No one deserves to have their trust betrayed because that leaves a scar on your heart and will affect how you view relationships for a good part of your time moving forward. It is not fair to anyone.
Work on rules with your partner so everyone is on the same page, if that is too much for someone, just move on.
11 Doesn't Care About Himself
From physically to mentally, self-care reflects on a person's outlook.
When a person does not care about themselves, they need to focus on how to change that when they are ready. Now we aren't saying you need a gym enthusiast for a boyfriend, but it is important that the person you are with takes care of himself. This doesn't necessarily mean they're in the wrong, but you shouldn't force your partner to try to change that about themselves when they aren't ready. One of the most important life lessons I've always held dear, is that people can't make others change, you have to be there to support them while they decide when the time is right and when they want to change themselves their own way. Otherwise, it will be forced if you guilt them, they'll build up resentment and so will you and the relationship will fall apart anyway. Give it some time, and give them some space, don't pursue marriage until they're ready.
10 Doesn't Put You First
Something that each person in the relationship should actively be trying to do.
If this is not mutually happening in a relationship there needs to be a straightforward talk about why. No one in the relationship should be working their a** off while the other is just soaking it all in without even a thank you. There is an aspect of mutual respect that comes with being in a relationship. There is no partner in crime when you can't even return a gesture of love! When your guy does not put you first and you give him 100% of your love, it is not fair to yourself. He is showing a lack of respect and love towards you and if it does not change after a civil talk, I would personally just leave because he does not deserve you, and you deserve better! You have to think of yourself as a trophy and you deserve to be treated as one.
9 Refuses To Come To An Agreement
Everyone fights, but not everyone will have a discussion. A discussion that can be used to come to an agreement, and if that has never happened, you need to think about your options. Like I mentioned, every relationship has fights, it is healthy to have your own opinion and with that sometimes differing options will turn into disagreements, it is hard to deal with in any relationship but when each of you come to an agreement on something, it can be very rewarding and feels great to move on. But the rare cases that someone refuses to come to an agreement 90% of the time, there is an issue, and honestly, I could not recommend marrying someone who practices this outlook on life for a whole relationship. I just think it is kind of childish for someone to refuse to come to an agreement. Why wouldn't you want to live a life with someone who can meet you halfway or agree to disagree. Things are just easier that way, don't you think?
8 Makes Excuses
When he makes excuses more than he says he loves you, there is a problem.
Making excuses is not a flattering look for anyone, but even more so when that person is the individual who you are with. Anyone in a relationship should not have to deal with the person who makes excuses for everything. The most common one I hear is there is always an excuse as to why he does not want to meet with the family, or have lunch with them, why not? Does he even have a reason for this, or is it just being lazy? Sometimes it can be insecurity, but still there needs to be a conversation that needs to be had to understand that, to work something out and grow together. If you partner just shuts off without any communication as to why he is making excuses, it is a problem that needs to be handled.
Lying is never okay. Lying is something children do because they don't know better. Lying is not something a full blown adult does, especially to the person he's supposed to love. Just like I mentioned in the above tip, making excuses and lying seem to always go hand in hand. There's no excuse for lying but sit down and talk to your partner first and try to find out what's causing this lying and how you both can work together to fix it and build a stronger bond. If he turns it around on you and accuses you of lying there's a deeper inner issue you shouldn't have to deal with by yourself. I've know family and friends who've dealt with this, with having their partner turn it around on them, it's not fair and I suggest keeping your distance.
“The only relationships that exist are based on truth. Everything else is just a mutual and isolating delusion.” ― Stefan Molyneux
6 Meaningless Conversation
There should be a connection that's formed over time, strong enough that two people in love can have time alone while being next to each other, it's called co-existing.
Being able to spend time together with the person you love after a long and hard day at work, it should be relaxing, meaningful, and overall special. Our partners should be there for us so we feel cozy and loved, vice versa as well! But when every single moment is filled with meaningless convo days on end after work or anything else stressful, it's tough to try to tell them to stop. But the easiest way to find new understanding with your partner and letting them know about something you don't like is to just honestly tell them what the problem is. You could also give it some time to find out if they are just stressed and babble or if they're just nervous around you. But if it's just because they always think time always needs to be filled up with conversation, there's a miscommunication!
5 Lacks Love For His Family
If he doesn't have a real reason as to why he hates his family and it's just him holding onto his teenage angst, there's a level of immaturity that needs to be addressed.
Teenage angst towards anything that's brought into a person's adulthood is a huge red flag warning that should tell you he might not be ready for the next step in the relationship. To have a relationship thrive it's important that you both are on the same page, and that won't happen unless you communicate and let him know your true feelings.
I've always found that it's a huge red flag when a guy doesn't like his family for reasons that he doesn't have, even when it comes to a friend! It's just like the compassion towards pets, if you don't love the people around you that have raised you and loved you your whole life, and they've given you no reason to hate them, what's the problem, other than being stubborn and holding on to a part of his youth that shouldn't have even existed!
Having someone cling to you 24/7 is one of the biggest no no's of a relationship thriving.
Clingy guys are always a no no! When a person in a relationship clings to you it either is reflecting their insecurity or their lack of trust. If you've given them no reason to not trust you, there should be zero reason as to why your guy is clinging to you! I believe that no one in a relationship should have to be 100% dependent on the other, it stunts the growth of the relationship and personal growth that usually happens in a healthy relationship. When a person is so attached and can't do anything without the other that will bring you down with them to their level, and it will also keep them there if something isn't done about the issue. It will enable them to stay where they're comfortable because they'll know you'll always give in.
3 Throws Away His Friends
This just makes him seem very immature and proves he can't have a simple discussion.
When a person doesn't value the friends he has in his life, takes them for granted, and always brushes them off, it is a mistake that can be easily masked as something they are doing because they love you! And while you might love the extra attention, you need to realize that that could easily be you one day, thrown to the side because he can't manage to balance his relationships with friends and family. This trait is usually a bad sign and because they tell you they want all the time with you, he'll most likely expect you to throw away your friends as well, just to spend time with him, when you didn't even ask him to disregard his friend group in the first place. In that moment you have to speak up!
If the guy you're dating smokes when you've told him in the past you rather not be around that, it's completely disrespectful!
Not only is it disregarding how you feel when a guy continues his toxic habit, it's also just plain unhealthy to be around. When someone smokes there's a lack of care regarding their personal health, which is generally a red flag we all need to recognize. A responsible adult that has their life together will kick bad habits to the curb for the ones they love, as well as just for himself to be a bigger and better person than he was before. Smoking is never a good sign when you enter a relationship, keep your eyes peeled! Some guys might even try to sneak a cig behind your back, which is double the red flags. Start by trying to have a talk with them, then if they still won't give it up after a serious discussion, bigger steps need to be taken.
An obvious one, but definitely one that needs to be said. If this is the case you need to leave as soon as you can and find help.
If your partner has ever been violent and you fear physical abuse because of it, or if he's been violent and hurt you no matter the circumstances you need to find someone you trust that you can talk to. A family member, a co-worker, your best friend, sibling, anyone that will help you get help and take care of you until the situation is handled. No one deserves to have their trust betrayed by a partner that's supposed to love them forever, no one deserves that and you don't deserve that. It's not your fault, and you're not responsible. No matter what you've done in your life, you don't deserve to be punished physically for a mistake. There are people who care about you, please don't forget that.