The Best Breakup Ever 15 Best Ways Of Letting Him Down Easy

Breaking up with someone is never easy. In fact, the breakup is sometimes even more difficult for the person doing the breaking up rather than the person being dumped. Yes, we're being totally serious. Sometimes it sucks more to break someone's heart than to have your heart broken.

Dumping someone really can even more difficult when you genuinely care about that person. You might be in the position of breaking up with a guy who is a catch, who has been nothing but kind to you, and who hasn't necessarily done anything wrong in the relationship. You may be breaking up with someone who you're not in love with, but you still do love. You may be breaking up with someone you really want to stay friends with. If you're in one of these situations, you'll probably really want to make the breakup as gentle as possible. Well, there are ways, believe it or not, to do that. You can make this the best breakup ever! Okay, no breakup is really the best, but you can make the breakup gentle and kind. This will keep him from being extra hurt and make it easy for him to bounce back, which is what you should want for someone you care about.

Below are 15 tips that will make the breakup softer and sweeter. He might still be bummed out, but it'll hurt him less than dumping him through a text message. Also, never dump anyone through a text message ever. It's just poor form.

15 Be Honest

You may want to lie about why you're dumping him, but don't do that. It won't do anyone, especially him, any favors. Being upfront with why the relationship failed can actually be helpful to him. It will both give him a sense of closure and it will always help him in future relationships. This may truly be a parting gift because telling him why you're unhappy in the relationship can help him better himself and not make the same mistakes in future relationships.

Telling him the truth my hurt him initially, but he'll bounce back and he'll appreciate that you were up front with him. Also, assuming that you dated for a while, it's safe to say that he'll know if you're lying so don't even try it.

14 But Don't Be Too Honest

Be honest, but don't be too honest. Telling him why you are ending the relationship is mature and healthy for the both of you, but don't take that honesty too far. If the sex between you two is lacking, don't tell him he's bad in bed. You could hint towards it, but don't flat-out tell him that he sucks in the sex department. You could say that you find your intimate moments to be unsatisfying… but be very, very gentle. Plus, maybe you just don't like his particular bedroom skills but some other ladies would like them, right? If you are having feelings for someone else, you also don't necessarily have to tell him that. Instead, you could use the phrase 'explore other options'.

You want to be honest in your breakup, but you don't want to say anything too hurtful. If it's not something that he can learn from and fix, you don't have to be too vocal about it.

13 Do It In Person

Obviously, do it in person. This one is so very important and so very obvious.

Not doing it in person is, admittedly, appealing because you don't want to have to look at his sad, sad face. I mean, what if he cries, right? What if he gets angry? Yes, those situations are real when you break up face-to-face, but they are situations that you simply have to deal with when you are breaking up with someone who with whom you were romantic and intimate. And, you should have to deal with them being sad or crying or being man. You owe the guy you're breaking up with the decency of doing it face to face and seeing his emotions. You should be there so hold his hand or give him a hug. We are all only people and giving someone the human connection, even during a breakup, is important.

12 Time It Correctly

Timing is very important when trying to give someone the best breakup ever. There is the old adage about the holidays. It's a basic rule not to dump someone before Thanksgiving because then they will be spending Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years Eve and Valentine's Day alone. New Year's Eve and Valentine's Day are obviously difficult because they are romantic holidays, but even Thanksgiving and Christmas can be difficult because his family will be asking what happened. There are other times to that are awful to breakup with someone, like on their birthday or after their dog just died. Use common sense and breakup with them at a time that won't make the situation even worse.

Also, a morning breakup kind of sucks. Imagine having to go to work after a breakup. Do it in the evening so he can go home, drink wine, take a bubble bath and watch old episodes of Grey's Anatomy. Oh wait, is that just how girls react to being dumped? Well, do it at night so he can deal in the way that boys do.

11 Be In A Private Space

To be honest, this is a dicey one. If you feel that you are at risk or that he may get physical with you, please breakup with him in a public space to avoid being hurt in any way. If you don't fear that he'll react violently, try to breakup with him in a private space. Sitting him down in his apartment is a great route because he has the luxury of being in his own living space and you can make an easy get away. You can also do it in your apartment, but then you may have to deal with him refusing to leave, which can get really, really awkward. If you would rather do it in a public space, do it somewhere low-key. A coffee shop that isn't frequented too heavily or a dark corner of a bar would be options for a private breakup in a more public space.

Remember that being broken up with is embarrassing and so he doesn't want anyone else to see this moment in his life.

10 Be Sensitive

The best thing to be while breaking up with someone is sensitive, but it can truly be difficult to be sensitive in this situation. If you've gotten to the point of wanting to breakup with him, you're probably a little bit over them. Okay, you're probably a lot over him. His jealousy, clinginess, possessiveness, withholding or whatever else has finally worn you down. Even the way he chews his food probably now annoys you. You no long have the same feelings you once had for him, but you have to try to remember how much you once cared for this guy who now chews his food in the most annoying way possible.

Stay connected and sympathetic. Don't emotionally close yourself off from him just yet. Be there for him this one more time. You owe him that.

9 Don't Be Defensive

While you should explain the reason you're breaking up with him, you shouldn't be too defensive in your explanation. Being in a relationship is a hard, collaborative part of life. Relationships fail for a number of reasons and it's always hard to say it's just one person's fault or it's because of one reason. In fact, he may have a totally different view of the fault in the relationship so hear him out instead of being too defensive.

If you breakup with him, he may get angry. He may even get mean. He may insult you. While this is not okay, try to understand that his anger is coming from a place of pain and it is in no way a true reflection of yourself or of him as a person. Instead of getting defensive or insulting him back, steady yourself. Remind yourself that he's hurting because you're breaking up with him. Allow him that moment of pain without becoming too defensive.

Of course, you shouldn't be a complete welcome mat. If he crosses the line, feel free to correct him, but try your best to not be too defensive. He's just hurt.

8 Don't Say Cliches

Do not say clichés. It's lazy and hurtful and lame. You know the cliché lines - It's not you, it's me; I love you, I'm just not in love with you; You deserve better. They are so lame they make you want to vomit.

Even if those lines are true, they just feel ultimately recycled and untrue. It makes the breakup feel like it hasn't been tailored to the specific person with whom you're breaking up. If you are feeling like one of these clichés is true to your situation, don't just say it's not you, it's me. Instead, explain how it's not him, but rather you. If you love him, but aren't in love with him, explain that. If you aren't in a place to be emotionally available, explain that. Don't rely on the cliché, but rather explain your feelings to him.

Clichés make someone feel like they aren't important enough to warrant a real, personal breakup. Don't say a cliché.

7 Go With It's Not You, It's Me

Please, don't actually say this cliché, but instead try to convey it with your words. You never want to straight up blame the breakup on the person you're breaking up with, even if you feel that it's their fault to some extant. You want to let them know why you specifically cannot be in this relationship. For example, if you feel that he's too clingy, don't go on and on about how much he texts, how needy he is, and how unattractive that is. Instead, talk about how you need to be in a very open and free relationship. Talk about how you don't like feeling tied down. By saying explaining his shortcomings through your own feelings and experiences, you'll be able to help him see where the relationship went wrong but you won't flat-out be critiquing him to his face. By saying you need more freedom, you'll be pushing him to examine his neediness without telling him he's needy. It's really a genius move, ladies.

6 Tailor Breakup To Relationship

Every relationship is different and, therefore, every breakup should be different. You should tailor the breakup to the specific relationship, both with your words and with your actions. If you have been dating for years and you're living together, the breakup should reflect all you've been through and the relationship you've built together. Don't make him feel like you are willing to throw out the years and years of work put into the relationship. That's not fair to him. On the other hand, if you've been dating for just a few months, the breakup can be lighter and easier. You should give him a breakup worthy of the amount of time and work put into the relationship, so if you are making the breakup a big, elaborate thing about only dating for a short time that may come off as inauthentic to him.

5 Be Specific

The more specific you are, the better. This falls into the 'be honest' and 'don't use clichés' pieces of advice. You want to stay away from being too broad. If you can pinpoint where the relationship went wrong, do that for him. It's not weird to be like 'Remember that time you logged into my Facebook and went through all my messages? Well, the relationship never felt the same after that.' Yes, it can feel uncomfortable to unpack a specific event that broke down the relationship, but telling him that is important. He'll have an understanding of what he specifically did wrong and he'll also know not to do that in a future relationship

The more you can pinpoint exactly what happened and when in the relationship, the more he'll understand why you're leaving him. That is essentially the most important part of a breakup - understanding. The breakup should, hopefully, convey why the relationship must end. He may not have understanding in the exact moment you breakup with him, but hopefully he'll get there eventually if you spell it all out for it.

4 Don't Bring Up Other People

Try to make the relationship just about the two of you, even if the relationship is ending because of someone else. If you have feelings for someone else or you cheated on your boyfriend, try your best to stick to just the two of you. What went wrong between the two of you is what you want to talk about. Should you tell him if he cheated? Tough call. It really depends on you and your specific situation. If you want to tell him that you cheated, do so but also be prepared for him to be angry and in pain. Telling a guy you cheated on him AND that you're also breaking up with him is, uh, not the best breakup ever. It's like the worst breakup ever.

On the other hand, if you are simply having a crush on someone new, that's probably not necessary to tell him. Essentially, you have developed feelings for someone else because you're emotionally checked out of your current relationship. You should tell your soon-to-be-ex about what made you emotionally check out, not about your new feelings for someone else. Keeping it to things between you two is always best.

3 Don't Disappear On Social Media

Social media makes breakup SO MUCH HARDER, but there are ways to deal with it and that don't include totally disappearing from him. Don't unfollow, defriend or block him. Completely cutting him out of your life can make it harder for him to deal with the breakup. Of course, he my choose to unfollow, defriend or block you, but he's the dumpee so that's his decision. The dumpee totally gets to choose to unfollow and unfriend. That's the unwritten rule of social media. If he does block or unfollow you, he'll likely request you again or refollow you when his bruised ego and broken heart have healed.

While we're on the social media topic, if you truly want to make the breakup an easier process for him, don't flaunt your single life on social media. At least not at first. Give it a minute before you post that super hot selfie that will inevitably get likes from new potential baes.

2 Promise To Stay In His Life

One of the hardest parts of a breakup is no longer having that specific person in your life every single day. It's a huge adjustment. You used to be the person he'd text when something bad, or funny, or cool happened. He texted you when there was big pop culture news or when something bad happened to his family. He'd text you just to tell you that he was bored! There were so many texts. You were his go-to. The transition to no longer talking every day is a hard one so let him know that you'll still be part of his life, even if that means you're part of his life in a new way. Giving him reassurance that you won't simply disappear will make him feel better about the breakup.

Yes, you're communication will no longer be the same as it once was, but knowing that you're still there for the good and bad times in his life, albeit in a different way, is important.

1 Give Him Hope For Future Relationships

Breakups have a way of making people feel hopeless, but that's understandable. It's the end of something that they put both their time and their energy into. They thought that were building a life with someone and working towards a future together, but then that future disappears. It can be sad and hard to deal with, so giving him hope for future relationships is a must. He needs to be reminded that he's perfect for someone but just not not you. (Only you shouldn't say those exact words because that's totally cliché.) One day, he'll move on and this breakup will be but a distance memory. Remind him of that fact. Remind him that a future exists. Breakups aren't really an ending, but rather a new beginning. Try to help make him excited about what that beginning will bring him in life.

All breakups suck no matter what, but these 15 moves will definitely help you make the breakup suck just a tiny bit less. A less sucky break up is what we can all hope for, right?