15 Times You Cheated And Why

Relationships are hard. Even harder is trying to understand our partners, ourselves in relation to our partners, and love. It all gets twisted and tangled; and in such a knot that we don't even see the thread from which to pull in order to unknot everything. It's a lot like that. And in the process we make mistakes. We make big mistakes that can hurt ourselves and those around us; and we hurt our partners who tend to be, but not all the time, innocent victims. They are innocent victims of our inability to communicate, to be honest, to express ourselves, to keep it real. We have to learn that cheating is not the answer. Cheating is the cheap way out and it's a quick way to boost our ego; but in no way is cheating condoned. So you cheated or you're thinking about cheating, girl, slow down. If you've done it, well, you can't turn back the hands of time; but you can understand why you did it by reading on. If you haven't done it yet, put on all the brakes; read this, work out the real reason you want to cheat and address that issue like a boss.

15 You were Bored

Yes, admit that you have cheated because of boredom. People, in all states and levels of boredom, do pretty dumb things. Go ahead and scroll through Vine or Youtube and tell me that boredom doesn't make even the smartest a little stupid. We get bored in our relationships. That is inevitable and if you're not prepared to deal with the good sides and the bad sides of a relationship, perhaps you'd better stay your behind in singleville. Relationships are not all highs, but they're not all lows either. However, if you notice that boredom is becoming a constant rather than a once in a while feeling, you'd better sit down and talk to your partner. If you catch yourself wanting to cheat more often than not because you're bored in your own relationship, time to call it quits and move one. Don't cheat because you're bored -that's lame and it's immature and you're way better than that.

14 You Felt Unwanted

Feeling unwanted sucks, like all the way sucks, sucks big time and little time. No one wants to feel unwanted. It's an ugly feeling that leads to other ugly feelings like depression or low self-esteem; it even has the ability to make people have suicidal thoughts. Being unwanted can also lead us to seek out places where we feel wanted. For some of us that might be with family and friends, but for others, between the sheets is where that wanted feeling soars. Being wanted physically is a good feeling, you feel sexy and dangerous and excited; but if you don't get those feelings with your real boo, you got some thinking to do. Either your partner doesn't want you for real or you've done something that makes him not want you. It's hard to talk about feeling unwanted, you might feel embarrassed or ashamed, but it's for the betterment of the relationship and more importantly your own self-worth.

13 You Were Seeking Adventure

Who doesn't like an adventure? Look at all the activities we have in this world that encourage feel good hormones to flow through our bodies; look at things we do to give our bodies an adrenaline jolt. We love adventure and it looks like it's just part of our human nature. But that's not an excuse to cheat. You can't blame your cheating on the fact that you love adventure because between you and your partner you can surely be creative enough to add adventure to your already existing relationship. That is, unless you're looking for a new adventure, honey; and if that's the case you'd better come clean with your partner and with yourself. There's no sense in running around frantically chasing adventure as a person who's in a relationship; you'd better get back to that single status so you can do what you really want, guilt-free.

12 It Was Your Ex

So you cheat with your ex because, well, it's your ex and it doesn't count. We've heard that before. And it doesn't fly with us. And it shouldn't with you either. You are lying to yourself about your cheating ways to avoid feeling guilty about your nasty little secret. If you are cheating on your current boo with your ex, you've got some major ex-issues. As you read this, stop what you're doing and think about the situation you've gotten yourself in. This could mean you're not over your ex, but it could mean that you want to be polyamorous, it could also mean that you don't care about your current boo and you're doing something to end things quickly. Well, dear, nothing will end things quicker than your current boo finding out you've been giving it up to your ex-boo. If that's what you want, you'll get it. But none of us, seriously, should be messing with our exes. That's old school and sad.

11 You Wanted To Take A Risk

In no way, shape, or form is being risky okay when it comes to cheating. Risky in the sense that you like the feeling of almost getting caught. Girl, you'd better conjure up some sexy situations with your man, like sex in public or in an elevator, to get that feeling going for you. Being risky in the sense that you're not using common sense when it comes to encounters is stupid. Girl, it's a dangerous world out there; women get violated, raped, and murdered on a daily basis so you'd better keep yourself safe regardless. Say you're being risky when it comes to having multiple partners and unprotected sex. Girl, you'd better turn your head all the way around and check yourself before you wreck yourself because diseases are no joke these days. Nothing is worth the risk of putting your life in danger. If you like being out there playing the field, cool -do so with a level head and heart. But don't do that ish under someone's nose. That's just foul.

10 The Desire Was Strong

We all have desires. You are not the only one, ma'am. Even when we are boo-ed up, we will desire other people. Duh, we're human, but first we're animals. And most animals do not follow any monogamous lifestyle, so it's natural that we might not feel so inclined to either. If that's the case and that's how you really feel, do not get into a relationship in the first place. Don't go breaking hearts just because you can. If that's how you feel, but you're already in love and stuff, you'd better have a serious talk with your partner about alternatives like a swinger lifestyle, being polyamorous, or having an open relationship. There are options for you, but don't let cheating be an option because it's played out and don't play yourself out or those around you. Be grown and talk about your desires.

9 You Were Out Of Control

You like that feeling, huh? You like feeling like things are about to crumble around you because you feel alive. We get that. We get that because we've been there, but we did that stuff when we were single. That's not stuff you do when you're in a relationship. Feeling out of control is cool for a time period, but then it gets old like everything else, like us. If you want to feel out of control, find ways that don't put you, your partner, or the relationship at risk. Try something you can both enjoy to get that out of control feeling together. If he's not into it, then he might not be the right one for you. And you might have to find that reckless boo that makes you feel all those feels. But don't make someone else suffer because you have a need for craziness and a lack of control or consciousness. Or find ways you can be out of control that don't hurt him or the relationship; also ways that don't hurt you. This life is full of options, open your mind.

8 You Were Unhappy

Duh, this is huge. Most people cheat because they are unhappy. But that doesn't mean they are unhappy with the relationship. Unhappiness in other aspects of our lives can seep into our relationships and wreak havoc. Maybe it's your job, maybe it's your living situation or your lifestyle, maybe it's a family issues, maybe it's between you and a friend or a lack friends, or maybe it's got everything to do with you and nothing to do with anyone else. All of these issues must be addressed. If you feel unhappy in one area it will taint another, it's part of how rotting works. One bad apple rots the bunch, darling. Talk to yourself about why you're unhappy, but don't automatically assume it's the relationship, that's super passé. Have a good look at the shadows lurking around you -these are your darker selves trying to take you down, but you gotta recognize them, talk to them, and work with them so they don't destroy you or your happiness. To be happy, we have to recognize that we have both dark and light within us.

7 You Weren't Sure If You Were In A Relationship

Maybe you weren't sure about your relationship status in the sense that you weren't sure how serious y'all really were or you weren't sure how serious you really were about the relationship. This is no excuse to cheat. If you're not sure, ask. When we talk to each other, we can set limits, respect boundaries, and live a healthy, happy life. Have a chat about your feelings and where you imagine things going. If you don't feel a commitment, then you will be tempted to cheat. And if there really isn't an agreed upon commitment, then it's not cheating in the first place. Find out where you stand, find out where your partner stands. That way no one gets hurt, all things are clear and out on the table, and you can go about your business living life in this human body. Knowing whether you're in a relationship or not can save you a lot of hassle.

6 It Was Because Of Your Partner

You cheat or cheated because of your partner. Well, let's talk about that. Does that mean you feel your partner pushed you into it? Do you feel like your partner is pushing you away? Or did your partner actually request that you cheat as some turn-on tactic between y'all? Does this mean you feel your partner is lacking something, like in terms of affection, sexual pleasure, or elsewhere? There are many questions you gotta ask yourself if you think that your cheating is directly related to your partner. You cannot just say, My partner is lacking, therefore I go elsewhere to satisfy my needs. What is your partner lacking and does your partner know about this? Without proper communication you'll never know if your partner is willing to step up to the plate and help satisfy your needs. Don't ignore the role that communication plays in our desir to cheat; if you feel you can't communicate then you're surely likely to go somewhere where you can talk about your feelings.

5 You Have Other Kinds Of Needs

Maybe you're into something freaky. That's cool. Most of us are, but few want to admit it. Hence all the fetish websites and ads. People feel shy to talk about their deepest darkest desires. Fantasies aren't something we share readily. It can take years before we open up to our partners about what really gets our motors running. But find a way to talk about it. In a letter or in a video. Don't limit the option to share yourself; you never know -your partner might be up for it. Cheating as a way to engage in our fetishes is dangerous because we then give ourselves in very intimate ways to other people rather than our partners. Be brave and have the conversation. There is no excuse, don't hide yourself away and don't cover up your desires. Most partners are actually into experimenting with fetishes if the bond is extra strong.

4 It Was An Act Of Revenge

Wrong, this is just so wrong. If you use revenge as a reason for cheating, you've got some serious shadow work to do, my dear. Revenge is not for us to do, revenge is the opposite of what we should do in the face of a bad situation or a bad partner. We could do so many others things, so many positive things, that don't directly affect our karma and our energy levels. It's best to walk away from the relationship if you are so upset by something your partner did that you're provoked to cheat. It's best to show love if you're really ready to forgive and move forward. Revenge is for cowards, those who aren't ready to look at themselves in the mirror and ask some heavy questions. Things happen for a reason -so what was the reason your partner cheated and does it actually have anything to do with you. And by your reacting to it in a negative way, what does that actually accomplish. Oh, dear, oh-me-oh-my, do not take revenge on anyone. Now you're dancing with demons; and they are out there waiting to use a weak soul.

3 You Were Feeding Your Ego

Getting caught up in our ego is a dangerous game. Our ego causes us lots of problems. Our ego presents us with seemingly harmless activities or gestures that only serve us and could potentially hurt those around us. Our ego wants to be fed and in feeding it we are creating a monster, one of unstoppable proportions, one that can eat us alive. Don't cater to your ego, it's a lie. What's more important than building yourself up - and I'm not dismissing self-care here because that is real and vital and necessary - is helping build those around you up. You're feeling bad about yourself and you think that cheating is gonna chase away those bad feelings? Wrong. That's only going to get you into a cycle. That cycle will be centered on ego. And that ego will do what it can to get you to repeat acts that make you feel good temporarily, but down the road, you're gonna be alone, lonely, and wondering what you did wrong. You fed your ego, that was the mistake. Don't do it.

2 You Were Curious

So you want to know what it feels like to cheat on your partner? You want to feel something you never felt before, you want to take a risk, you want to feel dangerous and out of control. Girl, are you crazy? And didn't we already go through risks and feeling out of control. No, nope, hell naw, these are not reasons to cheat. Not at all, girl. If you want to know how it feels, you'd better be prepared for the universe to give it back to you; you will know how it feels as the cheater and the person cheated on. Karma does not play. How about you suggest a role playing game or dress up? How about you plan a rendezvous with your boo, like all incognito and wearing a wig and have him arrive at the destination first and then go work your game on him. Try stuff like that. If that doesn't cut it, then I really don't know what else to tell you.

1 You Wanted To Break Up

You want to breakup. You might not have realized it yet, but you cheating is a cry for help. You want out and whether or not you've recognized that, this could be the main reason we cheat. We want out, but we don't know how to get out. We can see the door, but the handle is missing. You get the analogy, right? So, don't go cheat. Talk to your partner. Tell your partner how you're feeling. If you can't do that and say, I'd rather cheat, get caught, and have my partner break up with me, then I'm sorry to say it's people like you who ruin relationships and give people trauma. You're gonna go through all that rather than sit down and use words? Well, fine. Maybe you have a legitimate reason and I'm not gonna judge you. However, be careful with your decisions because we reap what we sow, dear.