15 Thoughts You Have When You Hate Dating But Do It Anyway
If you're single, you're probably dating -- and that probably means that you go on more first dates than you thought that you would. It's kind of just the way that it goes sometimes. It's also pretty much become an accepted reality at this point that if you're single and dating, you're also using dating apps. And as you definitely know, dating apps are not always the easiest things to use. Sure, you know that there are some good guys out there and that apps are a really efficient way to meet them, especially if you never meet people of the opposite sex in your everyday life. But that doesn't mean that you love dating, of course. Dating can really suck sometimes and there are so many creepy guys that you meet on a regular basis, you can't even believe it.
Here are 15 thoughts you have when you hate dating but do it anyway. Because, of course, you still have hope and you still totally believe in love.
15 Why Is This So Awful?
Every time you let yourself think about how weird dating can be, you can't get this question out of your mind. There has to be a better way. There has to be an easier system or a different time of day when more decent guys will actually be using these apps. But nope, it is the same old story, no matter how many times a week you swipe or which days you take off. It is always pretty terrible and there is no getting around that fact. You get ignored. You get weird or creepy or even insulting messages. You have the same old conversations over and over again, and you're sitting there wondering why this keeps happening. Why does dating have to suck this much? Why can't it be lovely and amazing and magical? Sigh. You keep doing it, though, because you keep hoping things are going to get better.
14 Someone Has To Answer
You're a modern woman, right? That means that you can absolutely make the first move. You don't have to sit back and wait around for guys to ask you out because that means that you could be waiting forever. And you definitely don't want to wait to go on dates. You're ready for a relationship and you want to meet guys as soon as possible, so you're the one making the first move, and you don't mind at all. You really don't. You have no issues messaging as many guys as you want to (or you match with). That just adds to your anxiety, of course, since you never know who's actually willing to chat. You're pretty sure that if you're using dating apps, you probably want to go on a date within this century, but hey, you've been proven wrong before. You can't believe how many people don't answer you.
13 Did He Think That Was A Good Opening?
Sometimes guys actually message you… and sometimes you wish they didn't. Because their opening lines range from cheesy to creepy to downright strange. You get jokes comparing you to pizza or something like "Hey, looks like we matched." Um, yes? You already know that? You're not sure why people find it so incredibly difficult to figure out what to say when sending the first message. Guys can really just say "hey, how's it going?" and that's not going to be a problem. You're not going to insult them or tell them off for not coming up with something more interesting or original. You don't need interesting or original in your online messages. You just want to talk to someone who seems like a decent person and who you might want to, you know, actually meet for a drink or a cup of coffee (as crazy as that concept may sometimes seem).
12 Was That Funny?
Hey, sometimes you really can't tell if a guy is being funny or if he really has absolutely no sense of humor. There's a fine line between actual humor and what some guys think is hilarious, and add in the confusion of typing instead of talking and it's really hard to figure out. You end up talking to someone way longer than you want to because you want to find out if he's actually funny. Or if he just thinks that he is. Yeah, you're pretty exhausted when you think about this too long. You have to deal with this every time you try to find dates, though, so you do end up thinking about it a lot. You just wish that people would be funnier. That's all. That's really not too much to ask, is it? A sense of humor is such an attractive quality, and it's something that you are definitely looking for in the next guy that you date.
11 I Have No Idea What I'm Doing
When it comes to dating, you may have some experience (and even more than you really want, thanks to all those bad and boring first dates). But you really have no idea what you're doing, and that becomes even more obvious the longer you're single and dating. It's just a fact of your life at this point, but it does really upset you. What questions should you ask? How much info should you have before you meet this guy IRL? You don't want to sound like a Type A weirdo who needs to know certain things about the guys that you're chatting with before you actually decide to meet them. But you also want to have a good idea about who these guys are. You don't want to be surprised like you have been in the past. But the thing is that you never, ever know what you're doing. But you keep going, right? Kind of like life. Funny how that works out. Everything's a metaphor when you think about it.
10 Maybe This Guy Is Normal
You think this every single time you chat with someone. It's your biggest hope in the world. Sometimes you wonder if you've lowered your standards so much that "normal" is your only wish. Okay, you still want a good person who has a decent job and ambition and all that. But "normal" really is an overrated quality. You don't think it should be this difficult to find someone who is a decent person, who has good morals and values and whatever else you want to call it, and who can add something positive to your life. The sad truth about dating in this day and age is that you go on so many first dates that turn into total and complete disasters. You can't even believe how creepy and weird things can get and fast. You have the worst first date stories ever, and since your best friends have the same kind of stories, you wonder if this is going to keep happening.
9 Nope, Definitely Not
False alarm. Another one (ugh). It's funny how quickly someone can show you who they really are… even when you're just chatting. Even when you haven't even met yet. Even before you even sit down across from them and order a glass of white wine. Funny or horrifying. You haven't decided. When you decided that you would devote yourself to finding love instead of just sitting back and waiting for a non-existent Prince Charming to come by and sweep you off your feet, you didn't realize you would deal with so many weirdos. Seriously, how weird are some people?! Do they really think that you want to hear all the intimate details of their life, or that you want to be insulted, or that you want to be hit on in a super creepy way? You are so sick and tired of all these weird people, you can't even talk about it anymore.
8 Maybe This Will Lead To A Date
Well, here's hoping, right? What a concept: you actually want to meet people from this app. Who knew that was even possible? It's amazing how many guys never want to meet you in person and who seem to disappear the moment that you even suggest meeting for coffee or a drink. Well, what are they waiting for? Do they think that the perfect girl is going to fall from the sky? You're pretty amazing, anyway, so they just don't deserve you if they don't want to go out with you. But every single time you chat with someone, you can't help but wonder if this is actually going to lead to a first date this time. You've had so many false starts and missed chances where you talk to someone for a bit of time and then it leads absolutely nowhere. No date. Nothing. Nada. It's something that the older generation definitely has a hard time coming to terms with, but unfortunately for you and your best friends, this is just a sad fact of life.
7 What's With The Work Excuse?
It's amazing how many guys use "work" as an excuse for not wanting to meet for drinks. It's not that you think that you're the most amazing person to ever walk this earth. You totally get that rejection happens and that it's really no big deal. But really, there are way too many people out there who seem really afraid of going on a date. Here you are again: chatting with a guy who has zero interest in meeting you. You get the same old response: "Sure, that would be great but the next few weeks are really crazy at work." You've been doing this for long enough, you know what that means: he's either disinterested or totally scared. You're going to go with the last one, because unfortunately, this keeps happening to you again and again. It's pretty strange because everyone works and that's really not a good enough excuse not to date.
6 I Could Be Doing So Many Other Things Right Now
Getting some extra work done. Watching an entire season of Orange Is The New Black. Folding laundry. Cleaning the bathroom. There are so many activities that you would prefer to do instead of using a dating app, you can't even believe it. You get that you have to try and put in the time and the effort… but at the same time, you're pretty tired of putting in that time and effort and not really getting anywhere. Sure, you know that you're supposed to keep trying and to stay positive. There are a lot of people who have met their significant others this way and they didn't give up. They held their heads up high and plastered a fake smile on their face and kept trying. You know that you have to do the same thing if you have a hope of surviving this whole dating thing. So you will do this. Just maybe not today.
5 I Should Give Up
But then you do start getting kind of miserable and depressed about the whole thing. You think that, well, maybe you don't need to go on dates. Maybe you'll be one of those forever single women who aren't sad about it one bit because of how much they enjoy their lives. You definitely love your life, so why are you wasting time on these apps? Do you really have to do this to yourself? Do you hate yourself this much that you would torture yourself this way? No, of course not. You actually do like yourself. You have pretty high self-confidence and not a whole lot of insecurities. Maybe the normal amount of insecurities. You just can't even with this whole dating thing, at least not right now. Maybe tomorrow you will change your mind. But for now, you're wondering about giving up, and you don't want anyone to tell you to keep going and to stay positive. You just don't feel like staying positive.
4 I'll Try Again Tomorrow
There's nothing wrong with taking today off, right? You just can't even. You're going to put your phone away and start fresh tomorrow. Maybe it's not dating or these apps or even the guys that you're chatting with that are getting you down. Maybe it's just you and your state of mind. People are allowed to have an off day, right? You just can't deal with this right now, and you really don't think that there is anything wrong with that. People have off days. It happens. It's no big deal. Just because you hate dating today doesn't mean that you will feel this way tomorrow. It definitely doesn't mean that you're going to stop believing in love and that you will never, ever meet someone that you care about. You shouldn't jump to conclusions and start freaking out. You need to stay calm and try to salvage the rest of your day or evening. Yup, that's exactly what you need to do right now.
3 Five More Minutes
The struggle is real. You swear you'll try for a few more minutes… and that inevitably turns into an hour or two. Oops. Well, maybe not. Maybe this is exactly what you should be doing. After all, the problem with giving up, even for a day, is that one day can turn into two and two days can turn into three and… well, you totally get the point. You really do have to put in the time and keep trying if you're going to be successful. The ones who do meet decent people when dating this way are the people that never, ever give up. So you can't. Even when you're upset. Even when you're annoyed. Even when dating seems more frustrating than anything else in life. Even when you would rather do anything else other than face this kind of rejection. You just have to keep going and keep going and keep going.
2 This Guy Is Okay
Just as soon as you tell yourself that you are done with dating (at least for today), you end up having a 30-minute conversation with a decent enough guy. Well, decent on the app, at least. Who knows what could happen if you met for drinks? You start thinking that maybe this whole dating thing isn't so bad after all. It's amazing what a short conversation and a little bit of hope can do for a girl. So hopefully this first date will a.) actually happen and b.) be pretty good. Hey, you're not looking for a miracle here. You just want a good enough first date. Something that doesn't make you want to tear your hair out and give up the good fight forever. Something that you can tell your girlfriends about and give them some hope, too. Is that too much to ask? You really, really don't think so, and this when you start crossing your fingers and toes.
1 Tomorrow's The Day
Two things happen right about now: the date happens and it sucks, or it doesn't end up happening for a bunch of boring reasons. So then you realize that you will absolutely meet someone that you love, but it might take a bit longer. You have to keep fighting and keep searching, but not today. Tomorrow's the day for you to keep trying, and if you have to keep going the day after and the day after that, then that's exactly what you are going to do. It's not such a big deal, is it? No. It's definitely not. This is what everyone who is in a happy couple right now had to do, so you don't have to think that you're any different. Everyone is in the same boat these days, and it's up to you to keep swimming and find your one true love. You're determined to do that. But again, it has to be tomorrow. Because today? You just can't even.