15 Things You Shouldn't Hold Against Your BF

It is pretty silly to throw away an awesome relationship just because your BF has a few flaws. He's only human, after all! Even though he does some things that drive you absolutely crazy, he still might be the perfect guy for you. Every relationship requires some form of compromise and adjustment, and we're willing to bet that there are things he doesn't like about you, too! So the next time your boyfriend does or says something that makes you grind your teeth, think about whether it's worth getting angry over, or whether you can cope with it in some way and try to focus on his good qualities instead. It's up to every individual couple to dictate their own rules, and every person to decide what they will and won't put up with. If you ask us, though, the following 15 things totally aren't the end of the world.

15 Not Being Able To Read Your Mind

Just because something is ridiculously obvious to you doesn't mean it is to him. In fact, most of the time, it probably won't be. You have to remember that he has a bunch of stuff on his mind that you don't know about (because you're not psychic, either!), plus his brain is wired a little differently. Depending on what else he has going on, he might not even notice things that are a big deal to you, so you don't have to jump to conclusions and think that he doesn't care about you because he's not asking you what's wrong. A guy who does notice that you're upset but ignores it might be different, though. You can't go wrong by gently bringing up whatever it is that's bothering you and laying everything out on the table. If you want something from him or are annoyed by what he's doing, just tell him, and that will be the end of that.

14 What His Family And Friends Do

We can't be held responsible for the things our family members or friends choose to do and say, so it isn't fair to hold those things against him. Sure, spending time with people you have nothing in common with can be super hard, especially if they have views and morals that are totally the opposite of your own. You might have to put up with jokes you find offensive or intimidating glances from scary sisters-in-law, but that isn't his fault. More than likely, there are some unsavory characters in your life whom he can't stand, but it wouldn't be fair for him to take it out on you. If something is really becoming a problem and you absolutely can't stand to associate with someone in his life for a good reason, you can always bring it up and work something out between you. He shouldn't force you into anything that makes you uncomfortable, after all!

13 Forgetting Things Sometimes

The most important word here is, of course, sometimes. You probably forget small details you should have remembered when you have a lot on your plate, and you probably feel terrible enough afterward without having somebody hold a grudge. It's the same thing with him! The key is to recognize if he's forgetting things because he does have a lot going on or he's just a forgetful person, or if it's because he doesn't care about you as much as he should. Comparing the things he forgets about you to the things he forgets about others might give you an idea of whether it is personal, or whether it's just his nature. While we'd all love to be with a guy who remembers every little thing without a reminder, the reality is that some people are just scatterbrains! Some guys have so much on their mind already, and it might not be about you.

12 Getting A Little Jealous

A guy who gets jealous might be annoying, sure, but his feelings generally prove that he cares about you. Trust us, it's better to catch him staring at you and your male coworker talking at a party than to realize he couldn't care less. It's always a good sign when he doesn't want to lose you! Having said that, there's a definitive line between jealous and possessive, and the ways in which he expresses that jealousy is important. For instance, just staring and maybe making a low-key joke about you and your coworker is fine. It's probably not fine when he starts demanding to know where you are every second, keeps tabs on your phone and won't let you leave his side in public. That right there is behavior that you most definitely should hold against him! But if he's just noticing quietly and not making a huge fuss, then it's all good.

11 Wanting Alone Time

It's easy to think that when the guy in your life wants some alone time, that automatically means he's just not that into you. We've all been there! But all normal humans need time to themselves every now and then, even the extroverted, in-your-face types. You shouldn't be reduced to anger or even insecurity if he wants time just to be alone because it's totally necessary to his mental well-being. It's obviously an issue if he never wants to see you, but taking time out is not a reason to be alarmed at all. Being alone with just his thoughts probably recharges his energy, boosts his mood, and lets him shake off things that were bothering him. It's better to have a guy who needs to be by himself every once in a while than to have one who's always there and always in a bad mood. Plus, he might miss you by the time he comes back!

10 Not Being Able To Express His Emotions

If you feel like you can never have an honest, intimate conversation with him about where you two are going in your relationship, it can be pretty frustrating! It's one thing if he's not interested in commitment and he can have those conversations with other people but not with you. It's entirely different if he does feel the same and he just has trouble expressing how he's feeling. You have to remember that while society annoyingly tries to teach us that we should be pretty and feminine at all times, it has more than likely taught him to avoid being emotional his whole life. Totally sucks. You don't have to immediately assume that because he can't have a conversation about feelings that he doesn't have any. He might not be ready to discuss it, especially if he's been conditioned not to, or he might just need a little help opening up!

9 His Upbringing

If your boyfriend didn't have the best childhood or has a tricky family background, that can make things pretty complicated. We're not really talking about what kind of family situation he had, but more about what sort of values they instilled in him. You know, like did his mom raise him to be totally sexist and incapable of raising a finger around the house? It can be horrible when an otherwise amazing guy has strong feelings about something that makes life a nightmare for you, but it doesn't mean that all hope is lost! The way he was raised is not his fault, so before anything else, cut him some slack. And at some point, we have to take control of our lives and accept or reject what's true to us, whether we were brought up like that or not. He might be willing to reconsider a belief that is a deal breaker for you.

8 Not Knowing How To Comfort You

If a guy is super awkward when he does realize you're upset, and never says the right thing to make it better, you don't have to hold it against him. Hormones and biological differences aren't an excuse to act like an insensitive d-bag, but he might not have a natural tendency to be caring. That's annoying because you probably make everything better when things go wrong for him, but it doesn't mean he's capable of being the same. What counts here is the effort! As long as it's clear that he does care that you're upset and he'd like to make you feel better, you're going to have to forgive him for cracking the dumbest joke that actually ends up infuriating you more, because he's trying to help. It's a good idea to tell him what makes you feel better in those situations, and maybe he will get better as time progresses!

7 Being Afraid

Yup, there's nothing hotter than a brave, Thor-type of dude who would travel to the ends of the earth for you. But putting pressure on regular guys to never show fear is as silly and unfair as the pressure on women to have a naturally tiny waist and huge butt like Kim. We're all human and none of us are perfect, so we definitely feel like you shouldn't think less of him if he is openly afraid sometimes. Every relationship benefits from that one designated, spider-killing person, and the one person who gets up to check out noises in the middle of the night while the other hides under the covers. But hey, life doesn't always work out exactly the way we want it to. That isn't a good enough reason to end a relationship, in our humble opinion! As long as he isn't scared of his shadow, let him off the hook.

6 The Things He Says When He's Angry

In some cases, the things he says when he's in a bad mood can be so harmful that they do make a huge difference. But a guy is likely to say something stupid when he's angry, that actually isn't a reflection of how he feels. As long as it doesn't raise other issues, then take it with a grain of salt. We can all say things we don't mean under stress, and none of us would want to be judged by one silly comment we made when we were angry. Particularly if he shows remorse and apologizes, and makes it clear that it was just the tantrum talking, you can probably let it go. If he doesn't mention it, you could always tell him what he said and ask him if he meant it. Doesn't that sound like a super fun conversation?! You'll usually find that he didn't mean to upset you at all and that he's honestly sorry, and you'll be super relieved.

5 Working A Lot

No one wants to date someone who's married to their job. It can be emotionally exhausting to try and maintain a healthy relationship with a guy who's never there. But if a guy does care about his relationship and happens to have a demanding work schedule too, it doesn't necessarily mean that he's not a keeper. Nobody should have to choose between having a functioning relationship and having a functioning career (seriously, imagine if somebody asked you to choose!), so it isn't fair to make him feel guilty. He probably feels guilty enough! It is up to the person who's busy to make it up to their partner, though, and he has to find time to spend with you so your needs are met. That might mean he has to sacrifice other areas of his life, but he can have an awesome career and be in love with you. It's just a little challenging!

4 Being Awkward Around Your Friends And Fam

A family can be daunting enough when it's your own, let alone when it's your partner's! If he doesn't act the way you'd like him to in front of yours, it can be disappointing, and lose you some serious brownie points with the grandparents. But as long as you can see that he's great, it shouldn't matter how he acts around the other people in your life. The truth is that he's probably nervous around them, and wants to impress them so much that he ends up making himself look a little foolish. Kind of cute, when you think about it! As long as he's not being rude and disrespectful on purpose, you don't have to worry yourself over it. Friends can be even more daunting to a partner, because he probably expects you to tell them everything about your relationship, and like, you probably do. Of course, he's a bit nervous!

3 His Exes

The past is definitely the past and should always be that way! Even though your guy may have made some questionable choices when it comes to his ex-girlfriends (according to you, at least), that doesn't mean there's anything wrong with him now. If we show that we've grown up and improved, we shouldn't be judged for mistakes we made in the past, whether they're exes or huge hoop earrings and pink cropped jackets. You'd probably feel offended if he were to look at your list of past boyfriends and make comments and draw comparisons, so don't do it to him. You can hold it against him if he's still secretly involved with an ex, but otherwise, it doesn't have to be an issue. Even if she hates you and gives you the meanest daggers every time she sees you, it doesn't have to come between you and him. The poor guy probably hates himself enough!

2 Not Being Interested In The Same Things As You

If somebody tries really hard to like the same things as you, it's pretty flattering. And no guy who's worth having should make you feel inferior for liking what you like or stop you from taking an interest in anything. But it's kind of impossible to be really, truly interested in something if you're just not. That doesn't mean that he can't make an effort for you every now and then. He should still come with you to places that he's not in love with and do things that might bore him occasionally because that's what couples do. He just might not ever be authentically enthused about the John Green book you're reading, and that's okay. Asking him to genuinely take an interest in certain things is like him asking you to be excited about going to see monster trucks. You just can't fake certain feelings, no matter how hard you try!

1 What Makes Him Happy

You know that you can't make yourself love something you hate, and you also can't make yourself hate something you love. The top thing you should never hold against a guy is whatever makes him happy. You might not approve of his hobbies or how he chooses to spend his free time, but if it makes him happy, you kind of have to grin and bear it. It'd be pretty hard for him to stop enjoying something just because you don't, so don't put him in the position where he feels like he has to choose. He's allowed to like whatever he likes, in the same way you are! Obviously, if he likes something illegal or unacceptable, you can hold it against him until your heart's content. But we're sure that's not the case! More often than not, you'll have to agree to disagree, and accept him for who he is. If you can't do that, then he's not the right guy for you, so hopefully you can!