15 Things You Should Never Ever Say On The First Date

It's the big night: your first date with the hottie you've been crushing on for weeks. You're probably feeling a little bit nervous, which could mean non-stop talking on your date… or it could mean an awkward silence. For most of us, first dates are a nerve-racking experience. Everything can be going really well, but with one inappropriate comment the date can be plunged into a seriously awkward or tense atmosphere. Your date doesn't know you well yet, and your first date is the opportunity for them to find out more about you. You want them to find out that you are funny, interesting and intelligent; not clingy, desperate or cold. For example; do you have a voodoo doll of your ex-boyfriend? Don't tell your date that. Are you constantly updating your Pinterest board with wedding and honeymoon ideas? Don't reveal that either. Of course, these are the obvious ones. Here we reveal 15 things that you should never, ever say on a first date… especially if you're hoping for a second date.

15 "I Hate This Bar"

Your date chose the venue for the first date, and you hate it. It is a completely deserted bar, and you two are the only people drinking there. The music is cheesy, and you think that it is too loud. What should you do? You should try to make the best of the situation. Try to find something positive to say about the venue. For example, you could say “At least we didn't have to queue for ages for our drinks!” When it comes to the first date, keep the negativity to a minimum. Lots of people think that being negative can come across as genuine, but on a first date it just makes you seem like a pessimistic person. In fact, 98% of eHarmony users say a positive outlook on life is a must-have quality. We fall in love with people who make us smile, not people who make us frown. Try to throw yourself into the night with a positive attitude; after all, you are on a date with someone that you find attractive!

14 “How Much Do You Make? I Make ____."

Most people know that it is rude to ask about money, but some people still try to do it to establish intimacy. However, it is pretty likely that your date will be reluctant to share their private, financial information with you. Lots of people judge others for how much they earn, and they might judge them for receiving an inheritance, or for how they choose to invest their money. Your date doesn't want you to judge them in this way; they want you to judge them based on their personality, ambitions and opinions. It can also make them feel guilty. Imagine that you are on a date in a relatively expensive venue; if you start to loudly complain about your student debt, they may feel like they should cover the whole bill - even if they can't afford to themselves. Instead, stick to topics that will help you both to learn more about each other's personalities and ambitions.

13 “My Ex Hurt Me And I Don't Want To Get Hurt Again”

When we go through bad relationships and difficult break ups, we often say to ourselves “I won't let myself go through this again.” That makes sense, but it doesn't make sense to tell your new date about how your ex hurt you. Most people have been through bad relationships, and it can be tempting to tell future dates that you won't be a pushover. However, when you say things like this, it doesn't make you seem strong, it makes you seem weak. Strong people don't have to verbally remind people not to hurt them -- they just leave when they're treated badly. Your date might also find it off-putting that you are (kind of) comparing them to your ex. They are a new person, with a clean slate; don't drag your old relationship into your new relationship. This behavior is pretty unhealthy and it's not fair to the new person in your life.

12 “I Hate Being Single, I Just Want To Fall In Love"

If you are constantly looking for true love, you might be tempted to say something like this. However, this statement will probably come across as desperate and clingy to your date. Remember that this is your first date together; they will probably find it off-putting that you are so desperate for a relationship. It implies that you might not actually be that interested in the person you are dating and you could be dating anyone who is available so that you can start a relationship. It's also very unhealthy to place so much importance on being in a relationship. If you are constantly thinking about how you want to find a partner, you should take a break from dating. Instead, do yoga, read a book or cook; basically, spend some time hanging out with yourself. Fall in love with yourself, and only start dating again when you know that you don't need a partner to be happy.

11 “Here's What You Should Do… ”

Some people just love to give advice to others. They like to be helpful, and they think that others appreciate their help. However, no one likes getting unsolicited advice from someone that they don't know super well. If your date starts to complain about a problem in their life, it can be tempting to offer them advice. However, it is very unlikely that they are looking for advice; they are probably just venting. If you try to give them advice, they are more likely to feel insulted than grateful. Most people prefer to receive advice from trusted close friends who know the problem well, rather than a new person who doesn't fully understand the situation or the people involved. If your date complains to you, try to be supportive and empathetic. Don't offer solutions or suggestions, just be willing to listen. Of course, if they ask you for advice, it is a different situation!

10 "My Family Is Crazy!"

You have some serious family drama. Your mom and dad haven't spoken to each other in years, and your dad's side of the family has moved to a different country. You and your sister argue with each other every week, and your grandma is still asking why you broke up with your ex. The truth is, most people have a slightly dysfunctional family. You might love them for it, or you may have cut ties with them years ago. Either way, talking about intimate family issues on a first date isn't a good idea. Your date might not know how to respond; after all, it is the first date, and it is possible that they will never meet or speak to your family. Remember that over-sharing information on the first date is more likely to kill to the spark than ignite it. It's a good idea to save any personal and family info for much later on (so definitely not on the very first date).

9 “Don't Tell Anyone, But… "

So far the date seems to be going really well. You and your date are getting along and having fun, and you're on your fourth Cosmo. You're feeling brave, confident… and very tipsy. You feel like you and your date have an amazing connection, so you decide to tell him one of your secrets. This may seem obvious, but you should never tell your secrets to someone that you have just met. You don't know if you can trust them yet, so you should keep it light-hearted, to begin with. You don't have to tell your date everything; it is your right to withhold information until you like them and know them well. Save the secrets until you know that you can definitely trust them; this way they are far less likely to break your trust by telling your secrets to other people. Remember that they are called secrets for a reason!

8 “Life Isn't Going Well For Me"

Life is a journey, and lots of people are unhappy with their current situation. You might want to change colleges or find a new job. Maybe you hate your apartment or your landlord, or you are having problems with your friends and family. However, you shouldn't express these feelings of disappointment on a first date. You might want to change a few things in your life, but you should still be proud of who you are and where you are in life. It can also be awkward for your date to hear how pessimistic you feel about your own life. You are out with someone new, having fun; you should be enjoying yourself and having fun, not focusing on the negative parts of life. Remember that your date doesn't know how to fix your life, and so they probably won't know what to say when you start to complain. Remember that this is a date, not therapy!

7 “I Hate Tipping"

Lots of people judge new people based on how they treat restaurant and bar staff. It reveals a lot about a person's character, which is very useful if it is your first date with them. This is why you should never be rude to the staff that is serving you. Most people have been a waiter or a waitress at least once in their lives, so they go out of their way to be polite and kind to service staff. They know that the job is long and difficult, and staff are often underpaid and insulted by customers. They empathize with the service staff, and they don't want to make their shift worse. If your date sees you being rude or patronizing to the service staff, it is very unlikely that they will want to go on a date with you again. No one wants to date someone who seems rude or selfish, and this is no way to make a good first date impression.

6 “What Happened With Your Ex?"

The date is going really well so far: your date is charming and funny, but that isn't all --they are also a serious hottie. You're having a great time, but you can't help but wonder about what happened with him and his ex. When you ask this question, you probably mean it as a compliment; your date is just so attractive and funny that you can't imagine anyone ever breaking up with him. However, the question might come across differently to your date. They may hear something like, “There must be something wrong with you for your last relationship to end; what is it?” On top of that, the answer can cause even more problems. Your date might not want to go through his last relationship with someone that he has just met, so he might give a vague answer to cut the conversation short, leaving you both feeling awkward. Alternatively, they will give you a long, detailed explanation of his last break up; leaving you feeling like a counselor, rather than a date.

5 "I Seriously Hate My Ex"

You might be loving life since your break up, but complaining about your ex will make your date think that you are still into them or that you still think about them all the time. Your new date doesn't want to listen to you trash-talking your ex; they want you to get to know them, which will be difficult if you are constantly talking about someone else. If you feel tempted to talk about you ex on a date, ask yourself why. If you have moved on from the relationship and you have no feelings for your ex, you wouldn't want to talk about them as they are part of the past, not the present. If you still want to talk about them, it could mean that you still have feelings for them. You might still love them, or you might be angry at them; either way, you should take yourself out of the dating game until you have fully moved on from your last relationship.

4 “Why Are You Single?"

When you meet someone who is attractive, funny and interesting, it can feel like you have hit the jackpot. Sometimes it can feel like all of the great people are already in relationships, so you might be tempted to ask “Why are you still single?” To you, the question is a compliment; you can't believe that someone this great hasn't already been snapped up by someone else. They just seem too good to be true, and you want to make them aware of that. However, most single people hate being asked: “why are you single?” It implies that there is something wrong with them; something that makes them difficult to date. Your date is likely to hear this question as “what is wrong with you?” - which no-one wants to hear! Instead try offering your date a compliment, such as “it's been a long time since I've enjoyed myself this much on a date.”

3 “Oh, I Hoped You Would Pay"

If you're going on a date to a restaurant or a bar, there will be a moment when the bill arrives. You have a few options here: you can offer to pay, you can offer to pay half, or you can say nothing at all. Although it used to be a tradition for men to pay for dates, that tradition now seems as harmful to women. You have your own job and you make your own money. You live in your own place and you buy your own food so hey, you don't need anyone to care for you, and you shouldn't assume that other people will provide for you, especially if you've just met the person. Of course, if your date offers to pay that is fine. However, it is also fine if they don't offer to pay. Remember that you are an independent adult who can look after herself. And definitely be super polite and thank them for treating you if they do foot the bill.

2 “You Kind Of Remind Me Of My Dad"

You might think that this is a flattering comment because hey, to you, your dad is the best man you've ever met. He is a great father, as well as a kind, loving and understanding man. You obviously don't want to date your dad, but you do want to find a man with similar qualities, as you know that a man like that would make a great boyfriend or husband. However, no one wants to hear this from their date… especially on the first date! It is an undoubtedly weird comment, and it is too intense for the first date; you don't know this person well, and you could be wrong about their personality. If you say something like this to your date, it is likely that they will run for the hills - and you will never hear from them again. If you want to compliment your date, try something simple like “it's refreshing to spend time with someone so genuine and honest.”

1 “Your place or mine?”

The date has gone really well, and there is some serious chemistry between you and your date. You're hoping that the date will continue, but this question is likely to cut the date short… even if your date has been giving you signals all night. Some people are happy to sleep together after the first date, but others prefer to hold out for a while. Unless you know that your date is happy to go home with you, don't use this question; it is very forward, and it puts them in an awkward position if they want to say no. Instead, try asking something more subtle, such as “Do you want to come to mine for a cup of coffee?” This way you don't seem sleazy at all and they can say no without feeling awkward. The worst thing you can do is ruin a date right at the end after a perfect night of fun and bonding!