15 Things Women Do That Make Them Either A Fling Or A Keeper

Dating ain't what it used to be. Back in the day, dating was called courting, and dudes picked up girls at their homes, and if they liked each other well enough, the dude asked the girl's dad for her hand in marriage. While that's super fast by today's standards, there was something so easy and stress-free about it. No worrying about sending the wrong text at the wrong time, no worrying about drunk dialing, no worrying about how many days to wait to see each other again without seeming overzealous - things were simpler. Well, at least that's how it looks to us today. We tend to romanticize the past in ways that are erroneous and in ways that destroy our current processes and techniques.

Dating today is much more complex because the world in which we live is much more complex. There's no way of getting around it, ladies. However, there are some things you should and shouldn't do if you want to get outta of some zones and into others. It's a game, sure enough, and to play we got to learn some rules. There's nothing wrong with being informed and nothing wrong with applying some tactics in order to get what we want or to keep things as they are. If you want to know how you look to your dating partner, have a look at this list. We're not always aware of how we act. This is a good way to gain some perspective and see how you appear to your dating partner.

15 Talks about exes immediately: Fling

To be honest - like super honest - no one wants to hear about exes. Ever. However, that being said, there is a time and a place to talk about the past. You know when the time is right, you just feel it. But if you are so emotionally damaged and carrying around cargo from some long ago romance that you can't stop talking about it, you will be regarded as a fling. It's hard to take a woman seriously who still has some healing to do. She's seen as a rebound and on-the-side chick, but she's rarely seen as the chick that a guy wants to take home to meet the folks. Plus, talking about exes early on makes for an uncomfortable environment. That's because it seems like like you're using the person for free therapy sessions and as an outlet for sexual frustration and not much else. Dudes pick up on that stuff. You will not be taken seriously, so if you don't want to be a fling, avoid talking about past relationships.

14 Only calls or texts him when you're drunk: Fling

This is the surefire way to stay in the friends with benefits zone. If you hit up the dude only after you've had a few, he will not look at you as girlfriend material. If you're fine with this set up, if all you want is a little snuggle, then cool, you're good. But if you are interested in the guy and you are too shy to reach out while sober, you'd better learn how to express yourself without alcohol. It's hard to talk about feelings sometimes, we get it. And these days, people are all about the casual hookup, the no-strings attached setup -but when you text or call when you're drunk, despite having a strong desire to develop something more, you're showing that you are not emotionally mature. He will look at you like a woman on the run, having fun, doing her thing and not much more. The drunk dial is not dead, it's alive and well and ruining all sorts of relationships that should and should not be. Do this sparingly, please.

13 Makes everything super physical: Fling

It's one thing to be flirty, but another thing to be over the top. Sure, guys like affection, small signs of attraction, go-ahead signals, chase me vibes, and some teasing. Really, who doesn't? But if what you offer when y'all are together is only the physical, you will get what you ask for. He will think you're after one thing and one thing only and will thus begin to treat you as the woman who is hungry for some loving and not hungry for intimacy. Do not confuse intimacy and sex -they are two separate acts that deserve their own space and respect despite having some overlapping areas. Tone down being handsy a bit, take it easy, and use your feminine wiles only when necessary. There's no need to apply the physical so liberally. Let things develop as they should, be organic about the situation and don't sell yourself out and be a sexpot when you're really a good girl looking for a good guy. But if you're all about having a fling, then apply sex kitten ways all over the place, apply liberally and often.

12 Unresponsive to serious conversations: Short Term Partner

Whatever the conversation is, if you're not really into it, if you're mentally spaced out, or daydreaming, he'll pick up on that. For him, that will be a sign that maybe he can't take you too seriously. Maybe you're not on the same playing field as he is and maybe you're just a girl to have a nice romp in the hay with. Guys, regardless of their need for physical contact and visual nature, are actually very much like us, believe it or not. A deep conversation can get the brain's juices flowing among other things. It's the way we get to know each other and the way we can find points of compatibility beyond simple biological factors. If he's trying to start interesting conversations with you and you're a no go or you're just not feeling it, you're giving him signs that you're a girl to have some fun with, but not to get emotionally involved with. You might have fun for a decent amount of time, but eventually the novelty will wear off.

11 Talks about future plans too fast: Short Term Partner

Hold your horses, like whoa. If you start to move too fast and without any signs that you should be moving in a fast or semi-fast direction, you will get shot down quickly. While some relationships do have a naturally fast pace that can't be helped, most good, lasting, healthy relationships have to develop slowly over time and with a decent amount of patience. If you start talking about marriage or kids, girl, you're already out the door. If you start talking about summer vacation plans, you're out the door. Even if you start to talk about next month's plans, you could be out the door. You see, until you know where things are going, there's no need to talk and plan so much. It should all fall into place organically. If you start forcing things, you will appear needy and he will not be interested in a girl who's so dependent. Guys like their freedom, and more than anything, they like a girl who's secure enough to let things roll as they do without pressure and without too much contemplation. So hold those horses.

10 Doesn't introduce him to her inner circle: Short Term Partner

This one is tricky. It's hard to know when's the right time to introduce the guy you're seeing to your friends. And to be honest, sometimes it's never the right time. We've all done it too late or too early. Regardless of having failed in the past, getting the timing right is tough. If you wait too long, it's like you're hiding him away, maybe keeping him a secret or embarrassed by something or by him. On the other hand, if you introduce him too early, then he'll feel pressure, you'll feel pressure, and all of your friends will have tons of questions. But if things are going well and you feel lots of good, solid, stable chemistry, it's probably wise to let him meet your friends. He'll get the hint that you're serious and he'll know where you stand. Plus, you'll want to get your friends opinion on him. But if you hesitate, wait too long in the face of some really good dating vibes, you might be setting yourself up as the woman who's cool with how things are -however that may be. If you want to take short term to long term, this is the step, but make sure the timing is right. Trust your gut, like for real.

9 Stays off-limits: Short Term Partner

If you don't make yourself emotionally available at some point, you run the risk of being seen as a gal just looking for a good time. Being vulnerable is the difference between surface and depth. It's taking things to a new level and it can be uncomfortable yet liberating at the same time. If you shut off when he tries to get to know you, you're being off-limits, and that shows him that you're not down with getting to know him or him getting to know you beyond the basics. If that's not what you want, you'd better start opening up. And if you don't know how, ask friends, family, or an expert on how to open up to someone. Maybe you're shy. Maybe you're traumatized. We get that. We've all been there. But shutting yourself off and tucking yourself away will get your nowhere fast. If you're goal is to build something with him, then you'd better drop your guard and get personal. Of course, don't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, but learn to open up and share yourself. Don't make him suffer for the wrongs that someone else has done to you.

8 Doesn't understand boundaries: Short Term Partner

Showing up out of nowhere, inviting yourself to weekend tips with the family, crashing guy's night out, inviting him to everything and expect him to come, calling him all the time, leaving him text messages first thing in the morning and just before bed. All these things are intense, like super intense. We get it, he gets it -you like him, a lot. Ok, that's fine. But you'd better know when you should show up and when you shouldn't, when you should make yourself seen or heard and when you shouldn't. When you start to invade his life, when you start to really push being together all the time, you're teetering the line between healthy adoration and scary obsession. Give the dude some space. Should you keep this up, you will be considered a short term partner, and probably sooner than you realize. No one wants to feel like their own private boundaries aren't respected. Let him breathe, and instead of being all over him, sit back and chill, wait for him to invite you once and a while, and watch how things can go from short term to long term.

7 Independent: Long Term Partner

Guys like girls who can do things on their own. For many reasons, actually, but the main reason is that it's healthy. Having space to do your own thing shows that you know who you are and what you want out of life. Being independent means you like to be alone or enjoy the company of others. Being independent means you have your own hobbies and interests. Being independent means you understand that he, too, probably wants some freedom. We come into this world for one sole purpose, and that is to discover what that is, which means time alone is vital. If you are able to manage your own independence and give him his, you're sure to reach long term status in no time at all -that is if that's even what you want. You might just be doing your own thing, being carefree, and not even thinking about long term or short term. That's how deep into life and living you are. Good for you.

6 Confidence: Long Term Partner

Yo, this one is huge. Guys like girls who are confident. Likewise, women love men who are confident. Why? Because when we are happy and satisfied with who we are, it shines through like a collection of stars from within. As a result, we give off this glow, and the world wants to watch us glow and get close to our light. Confidence is much more attractive than being physically attractive because being secure with yourself means you've found inner peace. That's a beautiful thing. Girls who are jealous, insecure, clingy, nagging, or obsessed show signs of unhappiness, and that's just not cute. Be your best you, shine like a diamond and let him see how precious you are. He will want to polish you for a long time to come and he will be honored to have you by his side wherever he goes -maybe to the end of the world and back again.

5 Understands his needs and wants: Long Term Partner

Being in tune with your partner is key. This shows something about you. It shows that you've been paying attention, and it shows that you listen and that you care. What guy doesn't want a girl who has been paying attention to him this whole time? Women naturally have good instincts about what men want because we are in tune with nature and with non-verbal cues. You could use this to your advantage. If you want to take things to the next level, start paying attention to the details. Do things like listen to what he says and what he doesn't say, study his habits, learn his likes and dislikes, and really understand him. Using what you observe to your advantage, you can show him that you are in-sync with him and that he can trust you. Guys like to feel trust and security just as much as we do. Give him what he wants and needs and you'll hit the long term zone sooner than you think.

4 Keeps the lines of communication open: Long Term Partner

Talking about how you feel is important. Despite the misconception that men aren't communicative beings, they have their own style of communication. Learn it - whatever it is. By keeping the lines of communication open, you are telling him that his thoughts and feelings matter to you, that sharing makes for a healthy relationship, and that you are not afraid to be honest and expect the same from him. This is intimacy and this is taking things to the next level. Couples who talk about their needs and wants, their fantasies, and their pains and traumas, are much more likely to stay together. Communicating is a form of bonding. We communicate through words as much as we do touch. Oh, eye contact is important, too. Be serious about communicating and watch the relationship grow.

3 Gives him space: Keeper

This is an area of much confusion for the thought of giving him space means the possibility of losing him or putting too much time and space between each other so as to lose the spark. Both of these couldn't be further from the truth. If you want to get into keeper territory, give him space. Absence does make the heart grow fonder, it's a fact. Well, it's been known to be factual. It can also show a couple that things are not mean to work out. However, the point is, space is necessary for reflection and for alone time. Remember, we are individuals and much respect each other's space. If you're totally cool with this and don't get all sensitive and butt-hurt about his separate life, his separate plans, and his need to be separate, you get it, girl. You understand that being apart is not a bad thing, but something that will strengthen the bonds you already have.

2 Compromises: Keeper

If you are willing to compromise for the sake of the relationship, you're ready to move into the keeper category. Compromise is hard. It's the opposite of space and independence. It's learning how to balance life together for the sake of each other's happiness. Compromise is sacrifice sometimes, and it's not easy. It's giving in when you want to fight. It's doing something you might not want to do for the sake of the relationship, for his sake. Of course, compromise should not hurt -it should be for the benefit of the overall relationship, and no one person should suffer as a result. If you understand compromise and are ready to make some compromise for him, he will look at you with adoring eyes because he's happy to see how committed you are. He'll also honored that he's been so blessed to find a girl like you.

1 Lets him be him. Doesn't try to change him: Keeper

Change is important if the person wants to change. If not, then you cannot force this. If you are trying to change someone and they didn't ask you, this is dangerous. If you want to help someone change because they've asked you, well, that's a different story. The truth is we can't change people. It's hard enough for people to change alone. It's a lot of work and it's looking at oneself hard in the mirror. Change is not always attainable nor realistic. Keep that in mind. However, if you don't want to change your man, but you want to make him better, you're doing the right thing. Self-development plays a big role in staying human, but this is also useful in a relationship. If you let him be himself, don't force issues, stay steady, ignore false hope, deny false expectations, and try not to change him but let him be who he needs to be, you're in the keeper zone already without evening knowing it. What a blessing to have a partner who is dedicated to growth and allows growth to happen at its own particular pace and in its own style. That shows mad respect and he will take notice - you will be a keeper in this lifetime and probably the next.