15 Things All Couples Should Do Before Signing The Wedding Papers

Marriage isn't a thing that most people take lightly - it's a huge commitment, and it's a huge step in any relationship. So, it's safe to say that the majority of individuals take the decision to get married very seriously. After all, you're essentially combining your life with another person's forever, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer, etc.

While most people recognize that marriage is a big deal, there are many that fail to have some important conversations before signing those marriage papers. Look, we get it - if you've been together for a long time, it can be easy to just see marriage as a continuation of your partnership - and it totally can be. However, before you commit yourself to someone on paper, in a ceremony in front of your friends and family, or even just in a private ceremony for the two of you, there are certain discussions you want to make sure you have and things you want to make sure you experience.

Can you have a successful marriage if you don't do the things on this list? Yeah, absolutely - every couple is unique, and different things work for different people. However, if you want to start things off on a good foot, it's a pretty good idea to try to make sure you have these things checked off before you say “I do.”

Here are 15 things that all couples should do before signing those marriage papers.

15 Travel together

Travelling can be a lot of fun - and what could be more exciting than spending some time in an exotic locale with your partner? However, since travelling can also be expensive, many people don't really get the chance to take a big trip with their partner prior to marriage - and they should really try to make it a priority. You see, when you're travelling, you've got a lot of unexpected things coming at you. Even if you're the type of traveller who meticulously crafts an itinerary, you're going to inevitably lose something, you're going to miss a teeny detail, you're going to be stuck in a tiny town with no restaurants when you're starving, etc. Travelling is exciting and exhilarating, but it also tests how your partner handles unexpected setbacks and stress while in an unfamiliar atmosphere, which can be valuable information to have on the person who you hope to spend the rest of your life with.

14 Talk about money

If you've read even a single article on important things to discuss when your relationship is getting serious and potentially heading towards marriage before, you probably saw this one coming, but it's important. Money is one of the number one issues that pops up in a marriage, so it's absolutely essential that you at least discuss it prior to signing your marriage papers. Look, no one is saying you need to be exactly on the same page - if one person is naturally a spender and the other is super frugal and wants to save every penny, they don't have to completely switch up their financial personality. They just have to make sure that their partner is aware of their perspective on money, and that you're not entering the marriage with any misconceptions. If you're a #girlboss with crazy assets and you want a prenup to make sure they're protected, discuss that with your partner. If you have a ton of debt and your partner doesn't know about it, they need to.

13 Live together

Okay, this one might be a little on the controversial side, and if you're super traditional or very religious and don't believe in living together before marriage, then that's fine - those are your beliefs and you should stick to them. However, for the average couple, living together before marriage can be very, very helpful. No matter how open and honest you are with your partner, when you both have your own places to go back to periodically, you can still hide your secret single behaviour. If you live together, all those secrets will eventually come to the surface, whether it's that you let the dishes pile up for days before deciding to wash them, or whether you're a neat freak who vacuums twice a day and can't stand when people wear their shoes inside. You can certainly learn to love your partners quirks - but you need to know about them first.

12 Figure out one another's stance on kids

This is one of the biggest dealbreakers in any marriage or serious relationship, because it's not something you can really compromise on. If you want a sturdy, dependable car and your partner would prefer a sleek sportscar, you can conceivably get both. If you love to keep the house totally tropical and your partner prefers the thermostat turned way down, you can reach a compromise that both parties are okay with. But you can't exactly compromise when it comes to a human being. If one partner has always dreamed of having children, they'll be absolutely crushed to have that taken away from them if their partner wants a kid-free home. On the other hand, if you've never wanted a child and cannot see one in your life, it wouldn't be fair to agree to raise one with your partner. So, before you enter into the realm of marriage, make sure you're both on the same page on this important issue.

11 Talk chores

Once upon a time, it was the husband's job to go out into the workforce and be the breadwinner, and it was the wife's job to stay at home and make sure dinner is always on the table, the house is always clean, and his work clothing is neatly washed and pressed. It's 2017 now - things are a lot more equal. Even if a woman eventually opts to become a stay at home mom, the concept of chores is still something that needs to be discussed. Does your man hold the old-fashioned idea that women should do all the cleaning in the house, while you think things should be split evenly? If you don't talk about those expectations, sooner or later, it's going to become a big issue, so it's best to just get it all out in the open now. You can totally make compromises and try to make sure no one is doing the chores they absolutely loathe, but it's something that needs to be discussed.

10 Experience conflict

I know, I know - you're newly engaged, you're rocking the rose colored glasses, everything seems wonderful and you think that surely you won't ever fight when you're married because you'll be a united team, right? Nope. We don't like to be pessimists, but the reality is that eventually, people argue. Conflict is a healthy thing in a relationship. And, if you've had your fair share of lover's quarrels prior to marriage, you'll be well equipped to handle any conflict that comes up when you're husband and wife. However, if you mistakenly think that having a ring on your finger means you'll never argue again, then you're in for some serious disappointments. Plus, if you know how to handle conflict, you'll be able to quickly move to the make-up stage of any argument, rather than getting into a nasty fight that leads to cracks in your otherwise strong marriage because you're not really sure how to argue with one another effectively and compassionately.

9 Figure out your definitions of cheating

Cheating isn't exactly the first thing on your list of things to discuss when you're thinking about marriage because, well, you're in love - you don't believe you'll ever cheat on your partner, or that they'll ever cheat on you, so why would you have to discuss it? Well, the thing is, cheating is a bit of a vague term. For some, it's a strictly physical thing, while for others, emotional cheating is as big a concern as actually getting busy. You need to discuss that. Most people know and understand the ban on physical cheating in a marriage, but if your partner starts what you feel is an emotional affair, but they think is just being a good friend, you'll get into messy territory. It's best to just clearly state your perspective from the beginning to avoid a big, complicated mess that leads to you losing all trust in your partner.

8 Get to know each other's families

Okay, if your partner hasn't spoken to their family in years, this might not be as big a deal (although you might want to ask what exactly has led to that huge severing of family ties). However, for most people, family is an important thing - it's a big part of your life, your support system. You know you'll eventually be spending time with your partner's family once you're married, whether on a regular basis or just for special occasions and holidays, so it's important to get to know them. Maybe you immediately feel like part of the family, maybe they take a little extra effort to warm up to, but the important thing is that you try. You don't want to be the type of partner that makes your spouse choose between you and his or her family - that's just not cool, and it's a toxic dynamic to introduce into your relationship.

7 Spend time with one another's friends

When you get married, you don't just leave all your pals by the wayside - while your spouse definitely becomes a new, big priority in your life, you still need time for your friends. Sometimes, that might involve separate girls' nights and boys' nights, but sometimes it might mean having some of his friends come over to your place, or vice versa - so before you sign those marriage papers, it's a good idea to spend some time hanging out with one another's friends, if you haven't done that much yet. If you find out a month or two into your marriage that your spouse absolutely cannot stand a single one of your friends, and always begs you to cancel any plans with them, that's a serious issue - plus, let's be honest, it's good to get his pals on your side, just in case your spouse is complaining about you sometime down the road and they can remind him how awesome you are instead of joining in to diss you.

6 Discuss life goals

You and your partner absolutely do not need to have the same goals in life - maybe he wants to open his own gym someday and become an entrepreneur, while you dream of making it to upper management at the company you work for. Perhaps he wants to spend time each year travelling while you would rather save that down payment for a house ASAP. Whatever your big goals in life are, you should discuss that prior to tying the knot, because they'll likely involve a degree of sacrifice. Perhaps, while one of you pursues your dream, the other one needs to keep their steady, stable job for awhile to make sure you stay afloat. Then, you switch, and the other goes full throttle. The balance depends on your relationship and your specific goals, but the point is, you'll be taking the journey of life together - so you need to at least know what the roadmap is.

5 Share responsibility for something

This is similar to the whole concept of travelling together, but prior to getting married, it can be a really great idea to share responsibility for something in your life. Perhaps this is something as big as a pet that you both need to care for and love. Perhaps it's a bit more minor, like a herb garden on your balcony. Whatever the actual thing, the process of sharing that responsibility and learning to work together and share both victories and defeats, can be a great indicator of how you'll deal with responsibilities together in the future, when it's big things like children. You don't have to go all Kate Hudson in How To Lose a Guy in 10 Days and introduce a love ficus into the relationship, but you get our point - sharing responsibilities gives you a peek at what a shared life truly would be like, if you two were truly tied together in a way that wasn't easily broken.

4 Spend time apart

Look, we get it - when you're in love with someone, it's natural to want to spend a lot of your time with them. After all, they make you feel fantastic! However, spending a little bit of time solo can actually be a great litmus test for your relationship. Do you find yourself constantly missing them and wishing you could be back with them again? Or, do you find that, after a few days, you really aren't thinking about them much at all - that what you thought was true love might have just been truly insane lust. In a marriage, you have to be a united force, but you also have to remain two individuals at times - so spending a little bit of time apart can be a good indicator of what things would be like in your moments apart. Now, we're not saying you should run off to Australia and take two months to find yourself - maybe just spend a long weekend apart and see how that goes.

3 Bust out those skeletons

Everyone has a few skeletons in their closet, whether they're big, traumatic incidents or just secrets in your past that you're embarrassed to tell anyone. However, marriage is about being totally open and honest with one another - joining two people into one. So, before you tie the knot, you should dig around in the back of your closet and bring out those skeletons. It can be so tempting to just leave them there - after all, what are the chances that your partner will ever find out? - but no strong marriage was ever built on a foundation of secrets and deception. Bring all those skeletons out, discuss them, figure out if there are any dealbreakers or any issues you feel like you need to address before getting married, and you'll be all set. After all, these types of things have a way of coming out eventually - it's better to be honest in the beginning than to blindside your spouse with something ten years down the road.

2 Talk about where you want to live

This one might seem minor, but it could actually have a big impact on your happiness as a couple. Before you walk down that aisle, it might be a good idea to chat about where you see yourselves living. If you're the type of person who wants to move every year, to try out different cities and even different countries, if you need that type of excitement to keep yourself happy, let your partner know. On the other hand, if you're the type of person who wants to put down roots and build a home in a teeny, tiny small town, because that's the life you've always dreamed of, you need to tell your partner. Does your partner even care where you live? Would your partner willingly move if there was a new opportunity or if you wanted to? While compromises certainly can be made, it's always better to know what your partner is imagining in their future.

1 Play the name game

We hate to even bring this up in 2017 but it remains such a big deal that we have to. Before you get married, you need to take a few minutes and discuss what the name situation is going to be like - particularly if you plan to have kids someday. Are you both going to keep your own names? Will you take his name? Will you both hyphenate? Will he keep his name and you hyphenate? It seems like such a trivial thing, but people care more than they let on. For example, if your partner is a traditionalist who will be super offended if you don't take his name and you always imagined you would just keep your name, then you'll likely have issues down the line. Voice your opinion, see where you both stand, and discuss any potential issues if they arise - but make sure to do it before you sign those marriage papers.