15 Subtle Ways He Shows He Loves You
There are many ways to say I love you. And although we are very attached to hearing those three single syllable words, we shouldn't let them define the validity of our relationships or our partner's emotions. Not everyone expresses his or her feelings with words. There are other ways to show someone that they are in deep that we shouldn't discount. We already know that actions can be louder than words, and we should start learning to see them. Sometimes acts of love can take the form of those grand gestures we all know and love from those rom coms we can't help but watch over and over again, and sometimes they can be small, everyday declarations of love that we more often than not take for granted or miss all together.
People can let their true feelings slip in the slightest and subtlest of ways. For some people it's subconscious and it is the only way they know how to show their emotions. Anyone can take you on a romantic picnic or have your name spelled out in the sky but what says I love you more than someone trying making your day better or making you feel special just because they like to see the twinkle in your eye. So it's in our best interest to be able to recognize displays of affection that we aren't used to so that we can appreciate them and not let a good thing go because we think we aren't getting what we want when we are getting exactly what we need. Here are fifteen ways that he can show he loves you whether he has already said those words to you or not.
15 He cooks for you
When you find a guy that cooks for you - lock that down! He knows the sneakiest way into your heart is up through your stomach. He knows that you don't play around when you're hangry and he sincerely and genuinely enjoys taking some of the burden off your slouching shoulders and shortening your day. So he'll start dinner before you come home or come over after work to cook for little old you. Either way he's showing he cares through an act of service that will perk up your day in ways you won't notice until it's gone. His delicious grub will give the aroma in your place - and your mood - a boost and nurture your body all while carving out quality time to spend with you. Make sure you show him you appreciate his efforts and don't let him feel like his hard work is being taken for granted. Thank him in whatever way you please, and offer to clean up after - it's good manners after all.
14 He asks for your opinion
Sometimes it's nice when you have someone to hash out your decisions with. Especially once you know that you can fully trust the person you are confiding in to have your best interests at heart. We all know it's gold to have another perspective on that dress you've deciding to wear to your frenemies wedding or whether you should take a job that veers in a different career track over trying for a promotion where you are. As ladies we really value a second opinion and, solicited or not, we quite often offer our two cents when we hear others weighing out their pros and cons. If he has started to ask you regularly about what he should do in a bind it's because he's taken your advice on something before whether you know it or not and genuinely values your opinion. Not only have you have cemented yourself as an equal partner, you've earned his respect. When you find yourself his number one consultant you've reached life partner status.
13 He invites you to hang with his friends
Ok so he has introduced you to his friends already at a party or some other neutral territory and you got through that in one piece. Inviting you to hang out sessions with his well established friend group is a whole other affair altogether. Here's why: your boo is confident in your ability to hold your own around his homies, and he trusts that you will shut down a stray advance made by that dude in the outer circle that always seems to show up. Perhaps his friends have expressed their approval so vehemently they asked him why he doesn't bring you around more often. Maybe you make him so happy when you hang out that he wants to maximize any and all time he can have with you and wants to show off how awesome you are any chance he gets. It's a pretty big commitment because it's the beginning of his friends becoming your friends, which means that he's starting to share his life with you.
12 He touches you absent-mindedly
Women are naturally tactile creatures. We crave to be touched, caressed, embraced, kissed, and made love to. It's how we communicate. It's how we show affection and how we understand receiving attention. Men are typically visual beings. We don't have to be 007 to catch them checking us out, or that looker in the strapless dress behind us, from across the room. That's why we invested in those plunging necklines and off-the-shoulder sun dresses; it's not all about being super on trend. We are usually the one reaching for his hand and nuzzling into his neck, which he'll tolerate for a bit until he feels smothered and swats us off. So you know when he starts touching the small of your back as you walk through a door, takes your hand when you walk into a room together, or tucks your hair behind your ear at dinner that he's hooked.
11 He gives you impromptu back massages
You've moved past the absent minded touching and he feels totally and completely comfortable with touching you any time he pleases. So comfortable it's almost like when he touches you he's touching an extension of himself. He's not bashful about his public displays of affection, and secretly wants you to know that. You'll notice that you no longer have to ask him to work out that knot in your left shoulder, he knows where it is and kneads it whenever the skin is exposed. You'll be on the couch in the middle of your Netflix binge and will feel his thumbs working on the arch of your foot. He can't get enough of your body and wants to make you feel good in any and every way he can. My personal favorite is the pre foreplay back rub. Even if it wasn't the plan to begin with there's almost little to no chance the massage won't lead you straight to the bedroom. Who says the honeymoon phase has to end. It just morphs into the comfortable… and honestly it feels just as good, if not better.
10 He runs errands with you
Nobody likes running errands. Errands are boring and take time away from having fun and goofing off with your favorite people. Fear not, you have a sweetheart who will now go with you to pick up all those nonsense items that unfortunately you can't seem to live without. You don't feel weird about asking him to accompany you because he has started to offer. Of course your hubby makes even the most mundane of tasks like grocery shopping and cleaning the bathroom a fun activity. The chores get done faster with an extra hand and (bonus) you get to cross an item off both of your to-do-lists. It works both ways. And you'll find that it's a creative way to spend more time together despite your busy schedules. This may seem like no big thing but it's really the workings of the two of you merging your lives. You may have yourself a soul mate in training.
9 He checks in with you
You'll be minding your own business sifting through emails at work or in the middle of your evening vinyasa and your phone will buzz with a "Hi" from your beau. You wonder what's up but he says it's nothing. He just wants to see what you're doing and what's new with you since the last time he saw you or spoke to you. It's a simple show of affection but don't underestimate it because you'll feel a rush of adrenaline because he was thinking about you. Relish in the fact that every time you receive an unexpected and unprompted check in from your bae he's telling you he loves you. He doesn't mind hearing the inner workings of your mind - in fact he is happy to do so because he gets to hear more about you and how you think. He also wants you to know that he cares and that he can be there for you if there is something bothering you.
8 He tidies up your apt
You may or may not be living with your beau but you've started to come home and chores that you know you didn't do have been done. At first you thought you had inherited a shy house elf that you didn't know about, or some fairy housekeeper, but then you realized your beau left after you this morning. The only logical explanation is that he took out the trash and cleaned the kitchen so you could return to home without being greeted by that hot smell of yesterday's fish tossed with early morning egg residue. Pay attention ladies, you've struck gold. It's different from him tidying up after himself because he feels like a guest in your home, he's helping you out because he feels comfortable in your home and is showing he cares with an act of service that will help you take a load off. Enjoy. This is what heaven feels like.
7 He lets you vent to him
Everyone gets ticked off. We deal with it in different ways. Not to generalize here, but women tend to want to talk about what has annoyed them and why. Otherwise it will gnaw at us and we will never feel like we have resolved the issue. Usually our circular stream of venting is reserved for our number one bestie, however, you are hiking your way up to the upper echelon of our nearest and dearest. So we've started to feel comfortable telling you about that annoying colleague who always seems to get the credit for the work that you have done. And he didn't roll his eyes. He offered a helpful solution along with some positive reinforcement. Not only does this show that you've started to trust him more with your feelings and who and what ruffles them, it shows that he is starting understand your feelings. He's not tuning you out because what you're saying may not pertain to him, or telling you that he's not interested. He actually cares.
6 He plans events for you
Planning events can be very stressful. For some people organization is therapeutic but planning events is a usually colossal hassle. Especially when said event is about you - a birthday, a house warming, a weekender with your friends. Alas we do have to do it every now and again, and unfortunately it is near impossible to enjoy yourself at your own event. But you have a secret weapon hidden up your sleeve. You have a darling lover knows that event planning is somewhat of an anxiety inducer for you and he hates to see you stressed out so he offers to help to take the some of the stress off your shoulders. And just like magic, suddenly you can enjoy yourself get a little drunk without those dreaded stress tears on your birthday because if something goes wrong there is another person who will do damage control. How sweet it is to have someone to share your burdens with?
5 He watches bad movies with you
Everyone has guilty pleasures. We feel guilty about them so that we don't share them with anyone. Except it's only the best thing ever when you can share your deepest and most shameful delights with another person. I'm talking about all of those bad movies and television that you cannot help but watch over and over again. Think of the secret inside jokes and references that you two alone share. Knowing that he finds what most people would find deplorable and embarrassing about you to be charming is pretty damn sexy. It's like giving him a key to the closet you hide skeleton collection in and him finding them cute. Whether he has realized that he is into your period and romantic dramas and you've actually turned him to the dark side of police procedurals or he just puts a grin on his face and bears it because of the late night sofa session he gets to have with you. That's love.
4 He doesn't call you out on your morning breath
The worst thing about staying over night is waking up the morning after. Your hair has dreadlocked, your mascara has migrated into dark puddles under your eyes and you have the imprint of the pillowcase etched into your skin from your temple to your lip. Not to mention the sleep in your eyes or that taste in your mouth. It's the worst thing ever and is the number one threat to morning sexy time. All the other stuff can be forgiven and even be part of the fun, but tasting not just your morning breath, but his too, is most definitely not anyone's idea of an aphrodisiac. But he kisses you anyway and doesn't flinch. Ah to be desired in all your morning glory. What a beautiful thing. It's just a little taste of the type of long term commitment to loving all of your flaws he is offering you. And while you're distracted by that dreamy thought don't forget to kiss him back.
3 He always picks up your calls
You know that he can't always pick up your calls. Sometimes he's at work. Sometimes he's at game night with the guys, or at dinner with his family. Sometimes it's four in the morning. But you'll call anyway because you want to hear his voice and he'll see that you have and call you right back when he gets a chance. And you get a nice little shock followed by a warm and fuzzy feeling in your tummy when he picks up even though he is busy. Even if he's only on the phone for a few minutes to tell you that he can't talk right now - which you already knew - and that he'll call you back later, you know it's because he wants to hear your voice and is happy you were thinking about him. It really is the little things that weasel their way under your skin and worm into your heart.
2 He lets you pick your side of the bed (in his bed)
All is fair in love and war. And that includes where you sleep with your beau. If you haven't made the lunge to share the same front door yet, and everything inside, you are probably spending a lot of time living in each other's space. It's hard to feel comfortable in someone else's home, even, and sometimes especially, if that person is your other half. There are things that sneak up on you that you miss: your morning bathroom routine, taking your laptop into the toilet, and that sweet, deep, dreamless slumber. Not having the full width of your queen bed to spread eagle every night or the body heat of your beau snuggling next to you can be a real sleep killer. People can have trouble sleeping with just the slightest change of routine or increase in stress. Sleep is a fickle, fragile friend. So he let's you have the run of his bed when you sleep over. It might seem like nothing but it's a pretty serious gesture. Now does that mean that he has trouble sleeping? Who can say? But it does mean that you owe him the same favor when he is in your bed.
1 He doesn't finish until you've finished
He doesn't finish until you've finished… in bed. Yes I'm talking about when you and your bae are getting freaky between the sheets. He may have always been a good lover and cared for your needs, he's gotten this far after all, but when your pleasure seems to bolster his you should take note. Gone are the days of him asking: “Did you finish?” or “Was that good for you?” and the days of faking your Os at the same time as his are a distant memory of the past. He can see through your tricks, but you no longer feel the need to employ them anyway. You can completely and utterly relax when you are being intimate with him and boy does he love it. And in turn he's showing that he can put your needs above his. We can lie with our words, but it's harder to lie with our bodies.
