15 Signs Not To Go Home With Him
The dating game is a hard game to play and it often feels like there really are no winners. Dating is tough! There are a lot of creeps and weirdos out there. The good guys are hard to come by. And when you do find a good guy, you still have to go through all the efforts of getting dressed up, getting to know him, going on cute dates, flirting your heart out, etc. Like we said, dating is tough. And it's especially tough if you're truly out there dating because you want to find a relationship. If you're dating just to have fun and meet new people, good for you! That is a completely legitimate reason to date and you shouldn't feel bad about it. If you want to date to solely meet new men and have a few new people in the bedroom, go for it. We are not judging and if we were, you'd have our approval. But if you're dating to find your next boyfriend and start a relationship, it's a whole different ball game. You don't want to just head back to his place after the first date and never hear from him again. You want more! So if you don't want to go home and sleep with him after the date because that is clearly all he is interested in, don't do it! But how do you know he's only in it for a fun night and that's it? Check out these 15 signs that he just wants to take you home but will never call you again.
15 He Texts All Night Long
It's a HUGE red flag if a guy is on his phone the entire night. Seriously, if you're seeing more of his forehead because he's got his head down texting, it's time to run. A guy who texts a lot could just be nervous, but that's no excuse! If he wants to be with you on this date and get to know you better, he is going to put his phone away. If he can't put his phone away, he might be bored, which is awful. You don't want to go home with a guy who thinks dating you is a bore. Because you are not boring! Or worse, he might be texting someone else. Be wary of a guy who gets a million texts over the course of a date and feels the need to respond to them. Sure, it might just be his mom checking in or his friends from the group chat, but most guys wouldn't insult you by pulling out their phone to respond. But if it's a girl he's trying to hook up with, he might respond right away. So this guy is obviously a sleazebag - let him go!
14 He Only Talks About Himself
Nothing is worse than a guy who won't shut up about himself. Yes, a date is supposed to help you get to know the other person. But it's also a chance to share some of yourself and see if you're a match together. But you won't be able to do that if he won't shut up about himself! How are you both supposed to know this is a potential relationship if you don't get a word into the conversation? A guy who can't stop talking about himself is obviously self-obsessed. He isn't making time for you and he is proving that he doesn't care about you. That's not someone you want to start a relationship with! Guys who just want to take you home after the date might spend the whole time talking about themselves because it's easier than pretending to be interested in you. He just wants his ego stroked so he's going to keep gabbing. Let him keep talking while you find a convenient excuse to sneak out of there!
13 He's Overly Touchy
We hate a guy who is overly touchy. It is so not appropriate to be that guy at any point, but especially not on the first date. A quick hug when you meet and maybe some innocent hand holding or kissing at the end of the date is okay. But it's only okay if both parties are into it. If a guy is all over you and you're not into it, it's time to get out of there. It's not okay for him to be rubbing up on your leg, throwing an arm around you or trying to get a kiss if you're still waiting for your appetizers. A guy who can't control his hands is usually after just one thing: your body. He has his mind on getting you home and getting his hands in even more places. If that's not something you're into, it's time to pump the breaks. Don't let this guy touch you if you're not comfortable. Tell him to stop and even cut the date short if you're uncomfortable.
12 He Made A Late Date
You might be thinking, "A late romantic dinner. How European of him! What could be better than eating thin crust pizza and staring into each others' eyes at 10 pm?" Except he's thinking that a late night date means a short date and no excuse to head back to his place afterward. Your late night romantic pizza date might just be a greasy slice at the 24-hour diner or something from the pub. You should be especially suspicious if the date venue he suggests is right next to his apartment building. First of all, this is a major sign that he just wants to get you in bed because he's taking you out late at night to a place near his pad. It would be too easy to invite you upstairs - much easier than it would be if you had an afternoon coffee date on the other side of town. Plus, if getting you into bed isn't his primary objective then this guy is still lazy and inconsiderate. Why won't he go out with you at a normal time? And why does the restaurant have to be only convenient for him and not for you?
11 He Doesn't Ask You Any Questions
Like talking about himself too much, not asking you any question is a huge red flag. The whole point of a date if you're hoping it will lead to a relationship is to get to know the other person. And how do you do that? By asking questions! Sure, the guy might just be really bad at dating. He might be nervous and feel pressure to come up with some questions. But even the worst dater should have the ability to ask you some basic questions like what you do for a living or how your day was. And if you tell a story, even a bad dater would know to ask you some follow-up questions to learn more. But if your guy isn't asking a single question, odds are he just doesn't care to know any more about you. Which is rude. And you should definitely not waste your time on him.
10 He Doesn't Talk About The Future
Listen, we are all for living in the present. Seize the day and all that jazz! We are definitely supportive of that. But, be wary of a guy who will only talk about the present and refuses to bring up the future or flinches when you bring it up. If a guy is excited about you and the idea of dating you for the long term, he will make that obvious. When you talk about how much you loved the new sushi joint you went to for lunch, an interested guy will say, "Sounds delicious! You'll have to take me there sometime." Or if you go to the movies and an interesting trailer comes on, an interested guy might lean over and say, "That movie looks great! We should go see that." Basically, an interested guy will be dropping big hints that he is interested and wants to see you again. A guy who just wants to sleep with you and move on will be making no such gestures. He won't want to promise any future dates or get tied down for anything. If you suggest a second date idea and he gets all nervous but still wants to take you back to his place, it's time to run.
9 He Only Compliments Your Looks
We love a good compliment. But what is a good compliment? A good compliment is sincere, heartfelt, thoughtful and given appropriately. So yelling, "Nice boobs!" out the side of a car is not a good compliment. You might honestly think that person's boobs are nice but that is not the way to let them know. In fact, keep that thought to yourself. So if you're on a date with a guy who won't stop complimenting your looks, you might feel like you're really looking hot. And we bet you are! But shouldn't your date be recognizing more than that? It's one thing to tell you that you look beautiful when he first hears you or maybe say that he loves your smile after you two share a joke. But it's a very different thing if he keeps bringing up different parts of your body. You can tell he has one thing on his mind. And a guy that you want a relationship with should recognize all the awesome parts of you, not just your hot bod.
8 Your Spidey Senses Are Tingling
This is a big one. You absolutely don't want to go home with a guy if your spidey senses are tingly. You know what we mean. If the guy gives you bad vibes or you're feeling unsafe, don't go home with him. If he's sketching you out and you have a knot in your stomach, don't go home with him. Basically, trust your gut. Women's intuition is a real thing. Your body is trying to sound the alarm and let you know that something is not right. Trust your body. If your body is right, which it usually is, you will have saved yourself from a really scary and dangerous situation. You may even be saving your life by not going home with this guy! At the very least, you'll be saving yourself an uncomfortable night that you might regret. And if he really is a good guy but something else is causing you to wig out, he should understand and have no problem going on another date with you if you so choose.
7 You're Not Prepared
You don't want to go home with a guy if you're not prepared. And by prepared, we mean a few things. First of all, you want to make sure you have your preferred choice of contraception. Gone are the days of relying on the guy to bring the rubber or pull out in time. You need to take your safety into your own hands. So bring what you need to make yourself feel safe, whether that be protection for him or something else. You shouldn't wake up with regrets and the need to run to the drugstore. Also, you want to make sure that you are personally prepared. If you're sick or have something contagious, you might not be ready to go home with someone. Or if you want to have your legs shaved or bikini waxed beforehand, make sure you have that situation under control before you agree to a sleepover. Basically, make sure you are prepared in whatever ways you like to be prepared before an adult sleepover.
6 He's Telling You What You Want To Hear
Ever feel like something is too good to be true? Well, if a guy is telling you exactly what you want to hear, then this might be the case. A true creep who makes it his mission to sleep with lots of girls will know how to overcome some of these signs. He'll know not to talk about himself all night and to try and keep his hands to himself for the most part. But if you feel like your date is being insincere and coming on way too hard, hit the pause button. He should not be professing his undying love for you on date one. Every word out of his mouth should not be a cheesy pickup line. He shouldn't be hitting you with cutesy nicknames or coming up with romantic ideas for your future wedding. If he's laying it on way too thick, you might have a con artist on your hands. A normal guy will not agree with you on everything and compliment you in every other sentence. Proceed with caution if he is trying way too hard to tell you everything you want to hear.
5 The Bedroom Is The Only Thing On His Mind
If you're looking for a long term serious relationship and he just wants to get you back to his bedroom and never call you again, you are going to want to steer clear of this dude. Again, nothing wrong with heading back to his place if you too only want a one-night escapade! But if you want something longer, don't head back to his place. If a guy just wants to get you under the sheets, he may let it slip a few times during the date. He'll make it clear he doesn't want a relationship by saying things like, "I'm just not ready to be tied down" or "I'm really trying to find myself right now." If he is telling you he doesn't want a commitment and you do, move on. And if he keeps trying to bring up intimacy, you know that is all he's after. He shouldn't be mentioning how close his apartment is to the restaurant or making suggestive innuendos every other minute. If he's managed to reference it a few times throughout the evening without you bringing it up, you know what he's after.
4 He Lives With His Parents
Before we start: absolutely no judgment on people who still live with their parents. Getting a job out of school is tough, real estate and rental prices are outrageous and sometimes it just makes sense to still live at home. However, this might not be the guy you want to go home with. You don't want to go to the bathroom in the morning and find his dad shaving or try to sneak out the front door and get stopped by his mom making waffles. The morning after is not the ideal time to meet the parents. Alternatively, you don't want to go home with a guy who has a bunch of gross roommates. If you have to step over piles of garbage, hold your nose when you enter the bathroom or, god forbid, share a bedroom with one of the roommates, you need to get out of there. You deserve a real man with good hygiene habits and fewer gross roommates. Basically, if the guy's living situation makes you uncomfortable, whether it be with parents or roommates, do not go home with him.
3 You're Only Going To Keep Him Interested
If the only reason you're going back to his place with him is to keep him interested, you're fighting a losing battle. As much as men love being intimate with women, that is not enough to keep him interested in a long term relationship. You will not retain his interest by sleeping with him. He will not magically be more invested in your relationship or want to take you out again because the two of you got intimate. In fact, if he's like most jerks who are only interested in one thing, that's all he wants. And once he gets it, he's gone. He's done. And you're left heartbroken because you thought sleeping with him would lead to better things. It won't. So don't make the mistake of going home with him. If he's not interested in getting to know you with your clothes on, then he is not the guy for you. Move on and find your perfect boyfriend!
2 He Has A Reputation
Guys with reputations have reputations for a reason. If word around town or the gossip in your social group says that the guy you're dating is a player, creep or jerk, odds are that he actually is those things. Sure, there is definitely a possibility that this guy got branded a creep from one bad date or one spiteful ex. He might be a really good guy! Or he might have been a player in a previous life but he's reformed and wants something monogomous. This guy could definitely be way more than his reputation. But, you heard his reputation for a reason. Maybe a concerned girlfriend wanted to protect you or his friends have seen him out with different girls every night. However it got to you, you have been warned. And given how awful dating can be, it's important that you take this warning to heart. Be cautious with this guy. You can totally still go out with him but we wouldn't advise heading back to his house on the first date.
1 You Don't Want To
The number one reason that you should not go home with a guy is because you don't want to. Case closed! You don't need any other reason to say no other than that you don't want to. You shouldn't go home with a guy unless you are 100% into it. You should be excited and ready for the evening. You should both be really into it and you should feel completely safe and comfortable. If any of those things are missing, you shouldn't go home with him. If you think you might regret it in the morning, don't go! The right guy will wait for you. If you feel pressured to go back to his house, that is a bad sign. There should be no pressure to go home with him. If you feel like you have to prove something, you don't. You have nothing to prove to anyone. If you feel guilty because you led him on, that is not your guilt to feel! You are not responsible for how much a guy wants to sleep with you. He doesn't deserve your attention or intimacy. And if you're drunk or under some other influence and don't feel you can make a good decision, do not head home with this dude.
