15 Signs He's Boyfriend Material

Not all available men are boyfriend material. Heck, not even many of those taken men are really boyfriend material. It can be kind of hard to figure out when they are and when they aren't towards the beginning of a dating situation, but it's good for all of us lovely ladies to have an awareness about it so that we can start making choices that really support our needs. When weDON'T want a serious relationship then it doesn't really matter how serious he is, but when we DO want a boyfriend we better make sure we're only spending our time on the guys who deserve us! Relationships should make us happy more often than not, and to get that we need a guy who's seriously ready and willing. Here are 15 signs that he's truly boyfriend material. Some of them might be totally new to you (which is a good thing since you will finally stop dating jerks!).

15 He Doesn't Make You Question That He Likes You

You would think that we'd be great at choosing men who actually openly like us, but feelings aren't always that straightforward to deal with. Sometimes we fall for people who like us but aren't quite sure HOW MUCH they like us, and occasionally we even fall for people that don't like us as much as they should. That can be okay for a minute while things get figured out, but it definitely sucks in the long run. If a guy is confused and just can't openly adore you, then he's probably not ready to be a boyfriend. Or at least not with you. A guy that's boyfriend material knows for sure that he likes you and he doesn't want anyone else to come along and steal you away. He'll make it obvious to you and everyone else that he likes you, and you'll never be left questioning that at the end of the day, even in your roughest moments of the relationship.

14 He Fights Productively

All couples fight, but there are definitely right and wrong ways to do it. Someone who fights fair is in his touch with his own feelings to the point that he can figure out where his pain and anger actually come from. He knows how to communicate those feelings in productive ways that encourage a two-way conversation without blame or confusing blanket statements. He knows how to speak up about a specific issue when it is an issue as opposed to letting things explode later out of the pressure cooker… except when the timing is wrong like there are other people around. In those cases, he knows how to let something go until there is an appropriate time to think about it. He can be specific without putting you down. He is willing to compromise and forgive when necessary, without holding onto grudges for the rest of time.

13 He Is Actually Ready For A Monogamous And Committed Relationship

What a concept, right? Not everyone is ready for a committed and monogamous relationship even if they're dating and acting like they are. Sometimes they think they might be but are wrong, and sometimes, unfortunately, they're playing games. When a guy isn't actually ready for something serious, there are usually signs right from the start. Maybe he doesn't text or call when he says he will or he's hesitant about talking about the future in any sense whether it has to do with him or the two of you. Guys who are ready aren't going to give off any vibes that they're not. It's really easy to make excuses for people's behavior, but it's really true that if a man wants to be with you, he is going to make time to see you and then see you. If he wants to be with you, he's going to try to be with you, bottom line. If people act like they're too busy for you then you're not a priority.

12 He Can Tell What He Should Freak Out About

Someone who is really boyfriend material will know the difference between real concerns and dangers in life and what's just straight up fear trying to steal the show. We all have to deal with this, and ideally, as we go through life we start to figure out what's internal and not real and what's real and perceived danger. He might be afraid of a commitment because he was hurt by the last woman he dated, but that is just his fear speaking and it's not necessarily relevant. That relationship doesn't have anything to do with you and it would be a mistake to act on that fear when there isn't a present danger. A guy who's boyfriend material will be aware that the fear exists but be able to express that and work through it so that he doesn't end up running from you and punishing you in the process. On the flip side, he'll know what real dangers are even if he isn't a particularly fearful kind of person.

11 He Introduces You To His Bros

If a guy is holding out for too long and not introducing you to his friends, then something might be off. He could just be really slow and cautious about new relationships but after a certain point, he's going to have to let that go. No one who is serious about keeping you around is going to keep you away from his friends or the rest of his life. When someone is keeping you as a secret (or just keeping you totally separate from other people in his life), he's doing that so that he can maintain some control over the situation. What happens if you meet the friends and they love you and then a week later the guy gets cold feet and tries to dump you for no reason. The friends might call him out on it. But if he doesn't introduce you or involve you in anything, he's free to make those decisions on his own with only you to answer to. He has an easier time pretending that those issues don't exist.

10 He's A Great Lover

There are all kinds of things that make a man a great lover, so this doesn't necessarily have to mean that he's the best you've ever had in a technical sense. But if having an intimate relationship is important to you, then him being a compatible lover is important to you too. No matter how skilled he is, he should be open and willing to make you happy, as well as connected as expressing that he's happy to be with you. This can be casual on certain levels but it's also an extremely intimate act on many levels and we're kidding ourselves if we don't acknowledge that part of it. Subtle things that happen in the bedroom can stick with us in large and small ways so it's important that we feel respected and honored when we're opening up to people in that way… as well as satisfied. A guy who's boyfriend material is receptive to your needs and communicative about his own.

9 He Knows What He Wants

A guy who is boyfriend material might not have his entire life together (and we're all a work in progress so who does?) but he does have an idea of what he wants out of life and what he wants from a relationship. When he knows what he wants in a girlfriend and recognizes those traits and qualities in you, he will not let you get away if he can help it. He will also have an idea about what he wants out of life and will be doing things that support that, including choosing the type of people to spend time with who support him. When he doesn't know what he wants he'll be able to express that without it being something hidden that he's unable to talk about. He might even want to talk about those things with the right person since he's open to exploring his options and values input from people who know and care about him.

8 He Speaks Your Love Language

You may have heard of the five love languages and the book of the same name that explains it, but whether or not your version falls into one of those categories, you certainly have a way that you express love and like to be loved. The thing is that a lot of us have different versions of what that is, which is where a lot of avoidable issues can come up in relationships. If you speak different love languages you might be madly in love with one another but not communicating it in a way that the other person understands. Some people feel like physical affection is the best way to express love, while other people feel like gifts do. Some people think quality time is where it's at, other acts of service, and others through the words that their partner says. There might be some element of all of those that everyone enjoys, but sometimes one holds more weight than others. When he understands who you are he will do his best to speak the language that means that most to you.

7 He Compromises

A guy who is boyfriend material will be willing to make certain compromises to get close to you, and sometimes those have to do with ways that people are willing to step it up for you. Maybe he needs to start keeping his apartment cleaner so there's actually room for you in there, or maybe it's changing his communication habits. Maybe he needs to start making time in his schedule to keep a weekly date night that you feel is really important. You may like who he is but no one is perfect, so to make things work sometimes there are some small tweaks here and there that need to take place so that people can understand and trust each other. Guys who are not boyfriend material will not be ready to make any changes in their lives for you and might even blame you for trying to disrupt this life they've got going at the moment.

6 He Expects You To Step It Up As Well

A man who is boyfriend material is going to ask you to step it up in the relationship as well. Just like you don't need to put up with certain things that don't work for you, he doesn't need to put up with things that don't work for him either. It's not that he wants you to change who you are, he just wants you to be more of your authentic self. When guys aren't that serious they might not ask much of you because what's the point? It can actually be somewhat shocking when a guy does actually have some requirements of you if no one has ever pointed out your weird behaviors before. A guy who is boyfriend material will not only see that you have a tendency to get defensive when your job is brought up, but he'll point it out and ask why. Holy crap, how did that happen? It happened because he's boyfriend material.

5 He Does Cute Little Things

Anyone can come up with a Valentine's Day gift, and while that can be incredibly adorable, it can be even more adorable when guys pay attention and do small and thoughtful things for no reason at all. The big stuff is expected but it's the little stuff that lets you know that he's really thinking of you. He comes homes from the grocery store with a snack you like or a bottle of water for you when you don't even live at his place. He just wants you to have something there that you like. He offers to give you a ride somewhere when you weren't even going to ask, that sort of thing. He's not trying to be showy at all he just legitimately wants to do nice things for you. The guy that does that is boyfriend material because he's thinking about you and he cares. The guy who doesn't do that stuff might be a little more distracted in life which is fine but not if it's at your expense.

4 He Doesn't Run When Something Goes Wrong

Some guys will date you but run away when something gets difficult and then come back when it blows over. The guys who are really boyfriend material, on the other hand, won't get so scared off by things that they disappear. They'll stay and work through it even if they are very scared in the process. We don't want to be abandoned or feel like we might be, so when we're with someone who starts to cross that line from time to time it can be incredibly unnerving and hard to trust them. It's almost impossible to really let your guard down with people who have threatened to run because why would you ever think that it would be a good idea to be vulnerable? Those people make you keep your guard up and then you can't be the open and wonderful person that you are back to him. It takes both people.

3 You Can Talk For Hours

If you're going to be in a relationship with someone you better make sure that you talk for hours on end about important stuff and not important stuff. Think about your best friends. The ones that you're closest to are the ones that you have a weird bond with and can chat excessively about the weirdest things. You might not want to talk about the exact same things with your boyfriend that you do with your best friend, but it is good to have that same kind of camaraderie and know that you could. This is one reason why so many relationships fall apart the first time that people take a trip together. When you're sitting in a car together for five hours it becomes obvious pretty quickly whether you actually enjoy the company of the person that you're with. Sometimes there's a shy awkward element that goes along with being a new couple but that's different.

2 You Can Spend Tons Of Time Together

Besides the fact that the two of you enjoy talking to one another, you can also spend quality time together where you aren't talking. If you're going to be in a relationship with someone, you should actually want to spend time with them, especially if it's going to get serious down the line. If a guy is someone that you can only handle in limited amounts of time, it might mean that he's not really the best guy for you. It's normal to get sick of people at certain points in time but not all the time. Why would you want to invite someone into your life that seriously drives you nuts half the time? There has to be some element of peace and good stuff to balance out the rest of the stuff that naturally takes place within relationships. If that part is rocky from the start it's not likely to get better anytime quick.

1 You Feel Comfortable With Him

Now new relationships can be frightening and nerve-wracking but generally in good ways. Despite the fact that you're nervously sweating around him on account of how cute he is, overall you're also very comfortable around him in a way that you aren't with other guys. When we're really paying attention to our intuitions we can usually tell who makes us uncomfortable in cute ways and who makes us just downright uncomfortable in general. There's a big difference and we definitely don't want to mistake the two for the same thing. If we end up with someone who intimidates us in real major ways it makes it hard to be ourselves, and if we're not being ourselves we're probably not having as much fun as we could be. Relationships certainly take work but they should be at their core super fun and exciting. The guys who are boyfriend material will make you see that. And it's super awesome.