15 Reasons Why Millennials Are Boring AF In The Sack
The term "Millenial" (also known as Generation Y) applies to anyone born between 1982 to early 2000s - those who were born before this would be known as Generation X. There are quite a few images the word "millennial" can conjure up in the mind, either this will be selfie-pouts, slogan sweatshirts emblazoned with "squad" or someone who has their own "Instagram brand."
There are many misconceptions surrounding this particular generation but one that has been proven as recently true - they are boring in the sack. They are less adventuress overall, less satisfied and (okay skip this next part as it might gross you out) they have less sexual partners than their parents did. Basically, this is a generation that as a whole is getting less frisky than any other.
But why? Here we have a look at how millennials have ended up being labeled as the most boring and also what they can do to save themselves.
15 It's All About Them
There is no bigger turn off than a selfish lover - everyone knows the best time in the bedrooms is when you are willing to give as much as you take. Millennials certainly have this selfish streak and according to a survey from Reason-Rupe Poll, 65% of adult Americans would describe 18-to-29-year-olds - millennials, really - as "selfish."
The other bad news is as they start off as selfish lovers, they will never be able to break this cycle later in life. Psychologist Srini Pillay explained to Psychology Today, "Perhaps the greatest obstruction to the selfish lover is that he or she is afraid to learn at a later stage in life. It is like asking an adult to start to learn how to swim. It is much more difficult later on life." Basically millennials - you are screwed.
14 They Sleep Around Too Much
Here is the problem with millennials: they have too many casual hookups and not enough long-term relationships - after all, they did coin the term "friends with benefits." According to the General Social Survey, in the 1970s 47% of people between the ages of 18 and 29 thought casual sex was fine, 50% of Generation Xers thought this, and now 62% of millennials agree with casual sex.
Practicing too much unattached sex avoids us learning about the deeper parts ourselves and how to earn the trust of another individual. When your body was too many casual experiences, your brain eventually adapts and sends the message that this is satisfactory and normal. The downside of this is when "the one" finally comes along, the mind won't even know they are stood right in front you.
13 They Are Heavy Drinkers
Heavy drinkers who are male may suffer erectile dysfunction and women who are heavy drinkers will be less likely to climax or self-lubricate. Many people mistake alcohol as an aphrodisiac but it actually dampens your sex drive in the long-term. According to The Recovery Village, 31% of people who classify as alcoholics are young people.
Signs that binge drinking may be taking its toll on your overall health and wellbeing are depression, anxiety, irritability, fatigue, mood swings, and shakiness - along with the before mentioned issues in the bedroom too. They also found that 95 percent of millennials deeply value their personal health, so this why they are reaching for a low-calorie vodka and slimline tonic which is high in alcohol averaging at 35-45% instead of choosing a beer averaging at 4-5% alcohol.
12 They Light Up Way Too Often
CS News reported that 23% of millennials have admitted to smoking, more than any other generation. One in three young people have also confessed to hiding or lying about how much they smoke to other people. In men, smoking leads to damaged blood vessels and heavy smokers can suffer erectile dysfunction.
Worryingly for ladies, they can suffer problems too. According to Go Ask Alice, "During sexual arousal, the labia, clitoris, and vagina also swell up with blood, similar to a man's penis, enhancing sensation and excitement. If nicotine can restrict blood flow and cause erectile dysfunction in men, it may be reasonable to predict that blood flow is restricted in women as well, and may also have a negative effect on sensation." Not to forget it also damages the skin and causes bad breath making smokers less attractive overall.
11 They Don't Know What They Want
Millennials have been spoilt so much with too much choice that they simply don't know what they want. They can't be adventurous in bed because they don't know what they really want in bed. Too much choice leads to overall dissatisfaction and nowadays with millennials having more choice than any other generation, basically - they, as a generation, are screwed.
Psychologist and professor of social theory Barry Schwartz in his book The Paradox of Choice, "If we're rational, (social scientists) tell us, added options can only make us better off as a society. This view is logically compelling, but empirically it isn't true. We end up less satisfied with the result of the choice than we would be if we had fewer options to choose from."
10 They Are Used To Faking It
Sad but true - nowadays too many young people are faking it and also getting away with it. According to Western University psychologists Claire Salisbury and William Fisher, "Younger women are even less likely than their more experienced older counterparts to climax during intercourse. It takes time, apparently, for women (and their partners) to figure out the magic formula for stimulating a woman during male-female intercourse."
Millenials have turned faking it into a norm. Just have a look at the daily social media updates, fake news flooding in, and even celebrity worship (don't get us started on contouring either), that just shows the lines between what is real and what is fiction are completely blurred. It's time for millennials to turn off the fakery and start being honest in the bedroom.
9 They Refuse To Grow Up
Becoming one-half of an adult relationship, where sex is a priority and putting the needs of someone else first is crucial requires a lot of maturity. A level of maturity that millennials are not equipped with. Time reported, "In the past, people moved from childhood to adolescence and from adolescence to adulthood, but today there is a new, intermediate phase along the way. The years from 18 until 25 and even beyond have become a distinct and separate life stage, a strange, transitional never-never land between adolescence and adulthood in which people stall for a few extra years."
Immature relationships often mean people only care about themselves, however, when it comes to mature relationships it's more about each other. The "Me-me-me" generation needs to put the juice box down and learn how to date their age.
8 They Prefer Virtual Reality
Psychologist Philip Zimbardo told The Guardian he fears with the growing popularity or adult movies and features becoming more interactive and immersive, that millennials will begin choosing virtual reality relationships over real-life romantic hookups.
Japan has had virtual reality adult games for longer than other Western countries and has caused millennials to lose interest in enjoying bedroom activities in real life. A survey carried out by the Japanese Ministry of Health found that 17.5% percent of men between the ages of 16-19 had “no interest in sex or have an aversion to it" and 11.8% of 20-24-year-olds reported the same or that it was "just too much of a bother." With more millennials turning to fiction for their fix - it's carving out a bleak future for those who are craving actual human interaction.
7 They Need Their Phones - Always
Millenials will tell you they are not as addicted to their phones as it appears - but the truth is they are lying. Shockingly, according to a survey by the Bank of America, "Nearly four in 10 millennials (39%) say they interact more with their smartphones than they do with their significant others, parents, friends, children or co-workers." So on an average day, millennials interact with their phone more than anything else.
Failing to build actual human relationships results in the lack of intimacy this generation is screaming out for. A survey carried out by The Huffington Post actually found that 63% of smartphone users between the ages of 18 and 29 actually sleep with their phones in the bed with them. Creating a tech-free bedroom will lead to a much better love life and will keep the hands free for activities other than scrolling through social media.
6 They Have Created A "Hook-Up Culture"
Here's the truth - the hook-up culture millennials have created has destroyed intimacy. It doesn't matter if you're hooking up with someone with little sexual experience, or who is compatible with your needs sexually, instead, the top priority is if they are available right there and then. The rise of apps like Tinder, which was designed solely for the purpose of hooking up in your local area, has created a warped new dating world where one night stands are the norm.
Relationship expert and author Cindi Sansone-Braff explained on her website, "Commitment-phobia is the #1 reason that people are engaging in hookups and not real relationships. Men and women alike have become afraid of true intimacy and commitment." Without true intimacy, the bedroom is never going to be a place where miracles happen.
5 They Can't Talk Face-To-Face
Face-to-face communication is something millennials have such little practice with that they have started to fear it - preferring to talk via their phone messages than actually discuss matters in person. With their phones permanently attached to their hands, it's no surprise this habit has now transformed into a lifestyle.
Live Science revealed that talking about sex during sex is actually a good thing. Researcher Elizabeth Babin, an expert on health communication at Cleveland State University in Ohio, confirmed that communication during sex was directly linked to more sexual satisfaction. At the moment millennials are in a situation where they would rather hook up then get their phone out once they have left and text their feedback. Everyone's going to be a lot more satisfied if we learn how to talk to each other face-to-face.
4 They Are Bored Of Life
Nobody is going to get stuck into the throes of passion if they are bored of life. According to a new study reported by Metro, two-thirds (63%) of millennials claimed they are tired of life - with only 4% of millennials claiming they never get bored. A spokesperson for the study revealed, "Despite growing up with the world at their fingertips, our study shows Millennials are attached to their mobiles, yet still profoundly bored with life."
Boredom can lead to a limited attention span and lack of interest in what's happening around you. There's no time for intimate relationships with others due to a lack of lust for life. If you're bored in life then what chances does your partner have for a good time? Taking time out for yourself and switching up an everyday routine can help bring back that joie de vivre.
3 They Aren't Getting Enough
Nowadays "No sex please, we're millennials" is how this generation is starting to feel as a study found that millennials are having less sex than 30 years ago. Published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, author Ryne Sherman explained, "You would expect, based on the popular notion that with apps such as Tinder, it's a group that is looking for hook-ups and not long-term relationships. (But) what we are seeing is this group is less likely to hook-up, so to speak, than previous generations."
Many grown adults will tell you that with experience comes wisdom - the ability to really make a partner happy in the bedroom won't be a skill you can just pick up overnight, it needs practice. Regular intimacy increases your knowledge, but for millennials, this just isn't happening.
2 They Need Instant Gratification
Millennials are corner cutters and great at short-term success. They believe too much in all the hype, which reassures them temporary excitement, rather than hope, which brings permanent enjoyment. In his Time magazine article, journalist Joel Stein labeled millennials as the "Me Me Me" generation. They are used to having answers and access 24-hours a day creating a culture that means they never have to wait for anything.
Unfortunately the effect this is having on intimate relationships is that a generation of selfish lovers has been created. What exactly is a selfish lover? According to Psychology Today, not returning favors but expecting them yourself, not engaging in foreplay, and placing yourself in positions that only work for you. Placing your own pleasure first gets tiresome over time. Women need on average 14 minutes to build up to an enjoyable climax - but this is time millennials just don't seem to have.
1 They Are Still Living At Home With Parents
So many millennials are still living under the same roof as their parents that's no wonder they can't get down to any serious action. In 2014, the Pew Research Center reported that 32% of millennials were living with a parent - more than at any time since around 1940. A challenging job market, the cost of housing on the rise, and a refusal to properly accept adult responsibility has resulted in many still keeping the same bedroom they had growing up.
Coming home from the club, sneaking quietly up the stairs and quietly asking your partner to keep their voice down, doesn't quite have the same effect as living alone and just going crazy. Your parents will tell you just how young they were when they first left home - well that's what you get when you raise a true millennial, they'll be plenty more sticking around.