15 Hilarious Tweets That Sum Up The Life Of A Single, Pretty Woman
Being single and pretty is a trivial thing. Seriously. With all the technology developing and evolving, like social networking sites and dating apps for all races and gender preferences, how can you still be single? That's why some women (and men) take it out on Twitter. Believe it or not, if you know how to use Twitter, it won't take you an hour before you find a tweet that screams “I'm single and gorgeous and my life still sucks.” Apparently, it's not just about the looks anymore. There may be tons of ways to find a partner in life but people are also becoming more and more picky. If you don't believe that, check out this list we prepared for you and you will be surprised at how much being single affects other people. Sometimes, it affects them so much they end up dating their dog. And then the dog rejects them so they become Twitter drama queens. Or their life just becomes a series of hilarious tweets.
15 Waking Up Alone
I woke up like this: alone.
- Trevor S (@trevso_electric) January 16, 2015
We know we mentioned this was a list of tweets for single, pretty women, but we can't rule this one out. Mr. Trevor sure knows how crappy it is to wake up alone. And when it happens repeatedly for weeks and months and maybe even years, chances are you will feel this way too much. And you will have to take advantage of social media to express your feelings. Twitter is clearly a good space for that because as this tweet shows, a lot of people can relate to it. You never know, maybe Twitter will work its magic and then you won't have to wake up alone anymore. But in the meantime, this tweet is super relatable even today in 2017. So many women out there still feel like waking up alone is an okay thing in the beginning but if it's been months and years already, these women will have to take it out on Twitter.
14 When The World Is Too Busy
*still no response to text 3 years later*
- bananafanafofisa (@lisaxy424) September 21, 2015
wow he's so busy
Wow, this woman sure is patient. In reality, we will definitely all curse the man who makes us wait for three hours. But for this woman, and for the many other single, gorgeous women out there, patience is the key. If you have a really pretty friend who's been single since forever, maybe she's one of the patient ladies. These women are kind of ridiculous, let's be real here… but we totally get it too. Why in the world would you wait for someone who clearly has no time for you? Oh right, because being single and waiting for someone is better than being single and waiting for no one. They're also incredible creatures. For real. It's not every day that you find someone who is willing to wait for three years for someone. Unless you stumbled upon a single woman who chooses to wait and wait even when she's not sure who she's waiting for anymore. Ooops!
13 The Reason For Being Single
me: i'm so lonely
- Funny Tweets™ (@Lmao) June 24, 2013
person: hey
me: leave me alone
If you're wondering why there are more and more pretty women out there who are single, this is the reason. Remember that just because Woman A is pretty doesn't mean she has leverage to change her single status to a coupled up one. If her attitude sucks, then men still won't be attracted to her. And if she has an okay attitude but she has no idea how to interact with others (insert major, MAJOR introversion) the case is still the same. She'll end up shooing away people (just like this one) and staying alone forever. As in, all her life. Now that sucks. And when all her friends got married or get into a serious relationship and have a life of their own, this woman will end up contemplating why. She'll end up asking why her life feels so crappy. And when she realized why, expect her to tweet so much about it that her tweets will instantly go viral.
12 Lots Of Expectations
20 Things That Women Should Stop Wearing After The Age of 30
- maura "jack and biz must be nazis" quint (@behindyourback) June 3, 2015
1-20: The weight of other people's expectations & judgments
And this is why it sucks to be pretty and single. If you're pretty, the world won't stop assuming that you're in a relationship. Men are lining up at your front door waiting for you, hoping you want to be in a relationship with them. And when the world realizes your gorgeousness is not in a relationship, they will expect you to be in one immediately. Seriously, this is quite irritating. Can't we just leave all those single women alone? Err, not alone alone but you get it. Can't the people around just chill out and do their own thing, just as gorgeous single women enjoy, uhm, being single? There's always too much pressure for these women, believe it or not. Which is why they end up posting hilarious tweets like this. They're not really looking for a partner. They're looking for ways to make other people understand that their judgment and expectations towards said pretty women aren't helping.
11 Grammar Mistakes Everywhere
him: your single? why?
- Dani Fernandez (@msdanifernandez) May 3, 2015
me: you're*
Yes, there are those kinds of women who hate grammar mistakes. Of any kind. And it is that attitude that leads them to being single for a long time, if not forever. If you meet one, chances are you will laugh at her a lot because she keeps correcting your grammar. Hey, it's just grammar but if English is your native language, you should be able to string a decent sentence together without having any grammar error. Some gorgeous women out there might have chosen to be single and dedicate their lives to teaching others how to construct an error-free sentence. Seriously though, if you have this kind of friend, you might want to tell her to take things easy. Forget the error, or at least don't focus much on it. Because if she won't stop being the grammar police, she will end up single all her life. Nothing wrong with that but still…
10 The Long List Of Single Problems
When you discover a whale can attract a partner in 15 minutes and you can't find one for years. #SingleProblems
- Saskia Douglas (@Sassy2Tweet) October 21, 2016
Ouch… And to think that whales all look the same. Well, at least they look the same to the human eye. Who knows how they look to whale eyes? But you get the point. We have to agree with this tweet, no matter how hilarious it sounds. Because come to think of it, if this is a scientific fact (which we assume is) then it's a real shame that gorgeous women can't find a partner to attract in years but a whale can in only 15 minutes! Double ouch. Reading that aloud only makes it more painful. This is the kind of tweet that many people, men and women, find relatable. Just because we are becoming more and more of a social world (endless methods of making new friends!) doesn't mean it has become easier to find a partner in life. In fact, it's made things harder for gorgeous, single women. And if they don't succeed, they'll be single for life.
9 Living The Luxury Life
I'm just really not willing to give up the side of my bed that houses my laptop for late night Netflix binging #whyimsingle
- Beth LeValley (@BethLeValley) August 3, 2016
And by luxury, we mean the luxury of not having to share your bed. Seriously, there are probably some women out there who choose to be single even if they have a lot of guys hitting on them because they can't think of a life where they have to share their precious bed. You do know it's always better to have the bed all to yourself, right? And the idea of giving that up? Some women find that the most difficult thing they have to do in life, so they choose not to do it. And then there are other women who feel so terrible about being single for ages that they have mastered the art of making excuses. Like this tweet. They pretend their bed space is more important than a partner in life so they craft ridiculous tweets like this that become super relatable. Which means only one thing: there are more women out there just like them than we could ever imagine.
8 Being The Ex/Aunt
when everyone i've ever dated has had a baby will someone please get me a nice present
- Esther Povitsky (@littleesther) November 4, 2015
One of the perks of being friends with your exes is that you get to stay in touch with them even if they're already building a family with someone else. You get to be friends with their wife and if your attitude is A+, they might consider you as their kid's godmother. What your exes don't know is that you feel bitter about your life because they get to have an amazing life with their amazing wives and you're still stuck being single, counting the years you've survived this world all alone. So this tweet, while ridiculous, is pretty relatable. If you have a friend who has been single for ages, buy her gifts. Seriously. Make her feel that someone still cares for her. Someone still thinks of her. You. Her one and only friend. For real though, this tweet says everything about living as a single, pretty woman. Sometimes, the only thing that makes sense in life are the nice presents.
7 Blinking Vs. Winking
When I think I'm winking, I'm actually just blinking #whyimsingle
- Devon Jones (@devonjones93) June 28, 2016
And then we have the tweet that sums up the life of a single bitter woman. Again, just because she's gorgeous doesn't mean she's taken. Just because she's winking doesn't mean she's flirting with the man at the bar. You never know, maybe the lights just make her blink. Strobe lights can be annoying, you know, especially if the person controlling it has no idea what he's doing. Now back to the single women… Well, their life isn't exactly the best life like most people think. Their life can be really too boring they end up making funny tweets, hoping that humor will spare them from utmost boredom. So when you think your life sucks, remember that there are women out there who have a worse life than you. The kind of women who feel so terrible that they turn to social media and they make fun of things. Like themselves.
6 The Woman With No Idea How To Flirt
Tweets by katesunshineWhat else can we say about this tweet? It's hilarious, it's relatable, and it makes all single women come alive. For real. This shows us that not all women know how to flirt. And if you think gorgeous women don't need to flirt, think again. Sometimes it's the flirting that makes them not single anymore. But of course, there are women who have no idea what flirting is and they feel like this should be a four-year college course. And if you're the gorgeous but awkward type of woman, chances are this tweet is exactly how you flirt with others. If that's the case, don't ask why you're still single. This answers it all. You may be hilarious but it's not enough, especially if you're being hilarious all the time it's too much. But worry not, there are tons of women out there just like you. You'll figure this one out.
5 Pet Relationships
https://twitter.com/buhsbaby_baby/status/645184233095491584This, dear readers is solid proof that even gorgeous woman experience problems like any other person. If you think all lovely ladies out there are lucky because they don't have to deal with the issues that you often deal with, think again. Because scenarios like this also happen in their life. And if you don't believe you're pretty but this happened to you, that is your glowing sign, friend. It's a sign that you are also pretty. And apparently, it's a sign that life can be rough sometimes. This tweet just proves that even dogs have preferences, and just because it's your pet doesn't mean it will choose you. So you better always have the remote nearby, so you can have an excuse just like this one. This is the time where lame excuses will save you. And this is the kind of story you want to save for yourself. Unless you're willing to trend on twitter, which isn't really a bad thing.
4 Lifestyle Tweaking
I don't understand why I'm single my hobbies include smelling my own hair and bragging about how I'm immune to bats
- dream ghoul (@TheDreamGhoul) September 3, 2015
Okay, here's a tip: if you're single for a really long time and you've exhausted all efforts to have a man in your life and you believe with all certainty that you're pretty but nothing's still happening, you might want to consider tweaking your life. Change your hobbies. That's a small start but a fine start. See if it's because of your insane hobbies why people steer away from you. Come to think of it, if you're drop-dead gorgeous but you love smelling your own feet, there will be no chance for you to get lucky any time soon. And certainly, not a chance to have a guy to want to be in a relationship with you. This tweet may be hilarious but the message it quite clear: change your hobbies and stop bragging about funny things. Your life would change in an instant. If not, at least you can say you tried. Maybe something else will happen soon. Something no one can predict.
3 Sleeping Positions
Love is never having to say you're sorry. Being single is never having to say you're sorry for sleeping diagonally.
- Ella Cerón (@ellaceron) May 9, 2015
We really can't stress enough how important sleeping positions are. Isn't that important to you? Don't you think sleeping properly is a luxury we should all have? Sleeping diagonally is a blessing from the universe. Yes, dear friend, it is. Not everyone has the luxury to enjoy all the bed space and sleep however they want or whenever they want. Unless you have a giant bed, this is something to brag about. If your friends are bragging about their new boyfriend being so sweet and all, do not be bitter. Believe in yourself and in your gorgeousness and tell them about your bed and how much you two love each other. Tell them about being able to sleep so comfortably you wake up each day with a smile on your face and without the stress of cooking for two. Now that is something worth bragging about! Don't take it for granted!
2 About The Dentist
https://twitter.com/bernice_ebanks/status/778230523932057601We can't. Really, we can't. This is actually a really funny tweet and we wish we were there to witness it! Clearly, some people can be plain ridiculous. And yes, that includes single and pretty women. It is a fact that Twitter is a life saver when it comes to staying sane when you've been single for ages and you think you can't take it anymore. It is packed with jokes and true stories that you can't really imagine in the lens of reality. We all know that some stories are only for fiction purposes. But there are also those instances when people do impossibly ridiculous things and say impossibly ridiculous things that they end up confusing others. Take this tweet, for instance. Okay, maybe this woman is really just struggling to make a joke or she just wants to thank her dentist. Nothing wrong with that, right? Dentists are important people and they should definitely be thanked.
1 Who's Collin?
Me: "Are you Collin?"
- NovelT (@UnwrittenNovelT) June 9, 2016
Hot dude: "yes"
Me: " if you're Collin, I'm answerin" Hot dude: Crickets #whyimsingle #mysinglelife
If you have that experience where you made fun of yourself and you can't forgive yourself, we suggest that you forget about it. Because things can get worse. In fact, this tweet has already made things worse. Shout out to the hot ladies in the bar who try so hard to make a joke they end up failing so bad even the ugliest man in the room wouldn't want to sleep with them! Seriously though, if you know you're gorgeous, why don't you just focus on that? Life as a single yet gorgeous woman is not easy… but hear us out and just focus on that. Don't attempt to make jokes of any kind especially if you know you're not born to make jokes. Because if you do, believe us girl when we say you will stay a lot longer being single than you could ever imagine. If the worst things happen, you will stay single forever!
