15 Birds Who Flirt Better Than You (Yes, The Animal)
We can't all be super suave, sexy lovers all the time. But what happens when we are suave and sexy none of the time? Flirting is hard, especially when you're really faced with someone that you like. Your heart starts pounding, your legs get weak, and your hands get sweaty. Words won't even come out of your mouth. This is why humans suck at flirting. Birds are way better because they don't have any of those problems. They don't even use words to communicate in normal situations. Not to mention the fact that there's no hands to get sweaty, and if their legs get weak they can just start flying. If you're still not convinced that birds are better at being suave and sexy lovers, read on. We'll prove it to you with these 15 birds that flirt better than you. Watch for them the next time you're on Tinder!
15 Perfect Match
None of your relationships have been this picture perfect. Let's face it: the colors, the composition, the fact that it's taking place in mid-air… Nobody can match this, human or bird. These birds have captured the very essence of love in this picture. Their hearts are shining through, bursting with the passionate love they have for each other. Meanwhile, the most your relationships can manage is a change in Facebook status. Ridiculous! You don't even have any pics of your last partner since they were always a little too greasy to want to remember. The photographer got the perfect perspective to really highlight how “right” these two are together, and we're not just talking about the angle. Some people say that really compatible couples look a little similar, or have similar mannerisms. These birds have both, looking almost identical and holding themselves both very still and very gracefully. Definitely a perfect match.
14 Come here often?
This bird has better lines than you, no doubt. While you might go to the bar armed with your top twenty pick up lines, this bird knows better than that. He (or she) approaches their crush with a smile, a song in their heart, and a story to share. This bird has dressed up in the best, which isn't hard for a creature that doesn't know what clothes are and is proving itself to be super slick with the birdies. They're whispering sweetness into their bird-crush's ear hole, which is more than you've done on your last couple dates. Think of it this way: would you want someone to hit on you with a pickup line taken out of a classic magazine from 1987? No. And if you don't want that, why do you think someone else would? This bird knows that it needs to bring intelligent conversation to the table in order to stand out. Take a page out of its book and soon you'll be getting all the pretty birdies.
13 Dressing up
We've said it before, and we'll say it again. For a creature that has no concept of what clothing is, these birds certainly clean up better than you. Just look at the effort this dude is putting out! He's splayed himself splendidly and isn't afraid to show his lady friend his true colors. She's looking mighty impressed, too, alertly looking out to make sure no one else is thinking about encroaching on her bird-man. If you want someone to act that way around you, we suggest that you fluff up your feathers. Clean up your act, and work on the way you present yourself. This doesn't mean dying your hair crazy colors, or getting a snazzy new set of clothes. Carrying yourself with confidence and commitment will get you far in impressing your chosen target of flirtation. Figure out what makes you feel the best, and work it! If you're funny, use that humor to make them laugh. If you have great eyes, work on your eye contact. Whatever your natural beauty, make sure you're flaunting it loud and proud like this handsome fella.
12 Look at that charming smile and come-hither wink
It screams “I'm here to flirt”, even though we can't be sure of where this owl is, and whether or not it's actually flirting with another owl. If you want to start getting the ladies (or men), we suggest you take after this owl. Everyone loves a sneaky smile. It's step one in every flirtation. You can't get anyone interested by grimacing at them, which is a lesson this owl has taken to heart. This owl knows that positive energy will bring about more positive energy. Thus, the more outspoken and upfront you are, the more that will be reflected back to the people you meet. Fingers crossed this means that if you flirt with someone, they'll flirt back. And no, a forced grin and twitching your eye doesn't count. Be like the owl: give a nice smile, a saucy wink, and you'll be taking names and numbers in no time.
11 Size matters
Whether the person you're getting into bed cares more about length or girth is beside the point when it comes to birds. With these guys, it's all about who flaunts it better, rather than what the flirty birdy's preference is. This bird is showing that length beats out in the show-off game, and demonstrates a key component of bird love: who's got the best feathers. His long tail is almost too much. It's extravagant, well groomed, and we can see that he's thoroughly impressing his ladybird friend with it. Our lovely lady on the right is all agape. Her beak has dropped and the smile of delight on her face looks like one a kid in a candy shop might have. While this probably didn't happen to you on your last date, just carry yourself with more confidence (like this bird), and no doubt your next date will be jaw-to-the-floor over your tail feathers too.
10 The louder the better
Birds can never express too much. Creatures purely of passion, these free flyers like to let their true colors shine. This guy (let's be real, it's almost always the guys who end up trying to show off) has taken the idea of “true colors” to a whole new level. He knows who he is, and he's not afraid to be himself. His feathers are bright, peppy, and almost too over the top, without being blinding or ridiculous. This is totally unlike you, who's probably too afraid to let their real colors shine. Maybe this is due to a deeply rooted fear of judgment, or maybe you just don't know yourself enough to know what your true colors are. Either way, you need to take ownership of yourself and embrace your true colors. You'll ultimately get way more attention, and way more love. This bird probably attracts more mates than he knows what to do with. If you want the same sort of attention, you know what to do.
9 U Got the Look
It's not just people that are attracted to nice legs. Break out your running shoes and gym memberships, because this ostrich has you beat for best butt. Those thighs are toned and strong in a way that only happens when you spend your life running and hiding out of fear. What could be hotter? No doubt this ostrich gets all the other ostriches at the bar and has a gaggle of them lined up for Friday night fun. While we don't know if the ostrich consciously works out in order to look nice for other ostriches, it's clear that we can see the results. If you want to be more successful at flirting, be like the ostrich. Take some pride in your physical appearance, and work on what you can work on. Don't settle for huffing and puffing up the stairs. You deserve way better than that. When your onject of affection starts to see you taking care of yourself, they'll want to chat with you. Someone health conscious is totally sexy.
8 A romantic candlelit dinner… A picnic under the stars…
This bird knows how to wine and dine his ladybird friend. Sharing a meal is a joy shared between any species. Whether it's hunting and dismembering a zebra, like the lions, or it's reheating leftovers from Boston Pizza, like us, there's a special kind of romance that comes with food. This bird knows that tried-and-true flirtation tip, and he's not afraid to use it. Here we see him offering another bird his first catch of the day; a big, juicy worm his ladybird is eagerly waiting for. When was the last time you brought your lady friend a special food treat? When was the last time she looked at you with the same sort of ecstatic joy that this bird has on her face? You need to step your game up when it comes to dates. Even this bird knows that food is the way to a lover's heart! Get on that dinner date train and romance your love! (Though we recommend skipping out on the worms.)
7 These birds are in for a good night
The two of them have set up a lovely little love nest in their home, which was already a pretty snazzy nest. When was the last time you had someone over like that? These birds are getting more action than you, and we think it is because of the care and love that has gone into building their home. While we're not saying you should go out and build your own house to impress whomever you're flirting with, we are saying that you should keep clean and organized. There's nothing weirder than going to someone's house and having it be messy and out of control. Even if you have managed to have a good date, if you bring someone home and your apartment is a pigsty, it's probably going to kill whatever mood has been brewing. Be like the bird: stay tidy, and don't be afraid of inviting birds over again.
6 You know how important consent is
If you don't get a yes, then you shouldn't proceed with any sort of… Well, anything. Even continuing to flirt after being told to stop is an infringement on consent. That being said, don't be afraid to touch! Touch is an important part of both platonic and romantic relationships. Make sure you're listening to your partner to know if they're saying “yes, this is good” or “I'm not comfortable with this”. We'll give these birds the benefit of the doubt and say that this guy asked permission before burying his head in her neck. And what a cute couple they are! Bright, happy, and necking away, these birds look like the epitome of pleasure. Have you ever felt so much joy? If you want to be like the birds, be bold. Don't paint yourself bright yellow, but ask to hold your flirtee's hand. Take a chance, and you might soon find yourself nuzzling like two birds on a branch.
5 Get a hole in one with this bird's advice
Getting ready for an awesome date, this bird has decided the way to flirt is to bring their date out and to get active with them. They have gone so far as to capture a golf ball, in all its shiny wonder, and carry it back to their date as part of the proposition. Nothing says “Will you be my bird wife?” like the gleaming facets of a stolen golf ball. While this might not have the same effect on your lucky human friend, we think it is still a valuable lesson in flirting. Planning new and exciting adventures, even something simple like going golfing, can be a great way to inject passion into your flirtation. Small gifts can also be appreciated, but we do not want you to go over the top-- The thought is what really counts when it comes to wooing, which this bird understands. So go ahead and try it out!
4 Let's talk about it, birdy
More action than you have gotten in the past couple months, these birds know how to have fun. There is no point in saying how much more successful these flirty birds are than you when the proof is in the pudding. Sure, maybe they are just cuddling. Maybe the top bird will not even call the bottom bird tomorrow. This situation might not be the ideal we are making it out to be. But we can say with confidence that right now these birds are getting a lot more pleasure than you are. If you decide to learn from all these birds, we hope that you get the same sort of joy that these two currently have. Just be sure you are treating your partner with respect, and that you two will still keep up the chirping and chattering the morning after. After all, you are looking to finding your forever bird, not just something temporary!
3 'Why Am I Single?'
You have probably asked yourself this question a thousand times; we know we have. There is never an easy answer for it. Sometimes it is the simple fact of no mutual attraction forming, no matter how many dates you go on. Sometimes it is because of the world conspiring against you; all of a sudden you have three projects due and a couple extra shifts at work. The world just does not want you to date. And sometimes it is because you never leave your house, which means you are never in a position to make contact with the outside world. Take ownership of your life, like these birds. They have both decided to leave the nest, and they managed to find each other. Love is blossoming over that ornate water fountain, and they both know it. Go ahead: leave your nest and put yourself in love's way. It is not just for the birds!
2 Quantity Begets Quality
You will not always hit it off with someone right away. It does take time to find someone you are really interested in, especially if you are picky! These birds know that, and they're taking their flirt game up to the next level by ensuring quantity begets the quality. They won't settle for mediocre matches, chirping half-heartedly at the food bar because there's no one else around and they're scared of dying alone. Instead, they take their time interacting with one bird, then move on and get to know another bird. Maybe they pick out some seeds for one bird and call it a night. The important thing is that they're trying… Which is more than you've done lately. C'mon! Go to those parties everyone keeps inviting you to and take a chance. The more people you chat with the more likely you are to hit it off. It's just a matter of getting out there.
1 Swoop
If all else fails, these birds have an easy out. Because they don't have any higher mental processing capacity, they can get away with working purely from biological instincts. If two birds decide they would be a good genetic match, they go for it! It doesn't matter where or when. Sometimes, like with these two, it can be in the middle of the pond, with one of them still in the air. Talk about impressive! While we don't recommend you try mid-air stunts without the necessary precautions, we do support these birds for going for their goals. While the situation is a little more complex with us humans (with our pesky emotions and all), you should still know that there's value in being upfront about your desires. Forget about the games, the sneakiness, and the subtext. Be like a bird and fly straight for what you want. Just be sure you respect the other person if they decide it's not what they want.