15 Big Insecurities All Couples Have

Our favorite television shows tell us that couples need to be one way, our parents tell us something different, and then our friends tell us we got it all wrong. It is no wonder that couples have so many insecurities to tackle. No one knows the absolute best way to be a couple, a way that works for both you and your partner.

When you and your man discover your insecurities, you are on the right path. Knowing what your insecurities are gives you both a way to face them head on and tackle them one by one.

If you don't face your worries together, it could spell doom for the relationship. Eventually, you both will have to face your worries and if you have never discussed them in the past, you can wind up going your own separate ways.

Instead of waiting for the bad to happen, identify those insecurities right now. Have a talk with your partner about them, and create a plan on how to face them.

While the two of you are at it, set yourselves relationship goals so that you are both on the same page. You will be stronger for it and will have the tools to overcome real problems when they happen.

15 Worrying What Other Couples Are Doing

When you and your man sit down on the sofa at the end of the day, what do you talk about? Do you talk about your day at work or do you bring up other couples?

Some couples are so worried about what other couples are doing that they forget to focus on their own relationship. Instead, they hack apart another person's relationship and criticize other couples mercilessly.

It is a sign of insecurity if you and your partner are fussing over what other couples are doing. Instead of being so insecure, you and your mate should focus on your own problems.

You don't need to tear down other relationships just to make yourselves feel better. Instead, you and your partner should find what makes the two of you happy. If that is not possible, then you both really need to reexamine why the two of you are together.

14 Being Too Clingy

Sometimes you see these couples that just can't seem to take their hands off each other. Wherever one goes, the other is right there, practically underfoot. It looks desperate and it is not an image you and your man want to portray.

Sure, you both love each other, but you each can also exist as a functioning adult without the other for a few hours. Neither of you want to come off as being so pathetic that you need the other person present to have a personality.

I get it. There is a fine line between being comfortable with each other and absolutely needing each other to live. Other people see that desperation and they will automatically write you off as an insecure couple.

On the other hand, if you and your man feel comfortable hanging on to each other, then who cares what other people think? It's your happiness as a couple that matters. Never mind the outsiders.

13 Having Separate Lives

Work-oriented couples are often insecure about the fact that they are so independent. For example, you might be a career-oriented woman. You love your man, but you also have career goals that don't involve him. Your man is the same way. He works just as many hard hours as you do and, just like you, his work comes first. In spite of this, you know that he loves you, but you still fear that being apart so often will break the two of you apart.

There are numerous independent power couples in the world. The difference between the successful couples and the ones that break up are what they do to prioritize their relationships. Successful, independent couples schedule special time for each other while the ones that break up, have drifted apart long before the end.

Making time to be involved in your independent man's life is all you need to do to rekindle that connection you both felt at the beginning of the relationship.

12 Having Kids Or Not

When it comes to having kids, you are pretty much damned if you do and damned if you don't.

Couples that decide against having kids are often pitied by those who have a household full of them. They face constant harassment to have children before they are ready.

On the other end of the spectrum, couples that have kids suddenly have no time for other things in their lives. People pity them because their time is tied up in the kids and socializing is pretty much off the table during certain hours.

As a couple, you really can't win in the kids or no kids debate. Instead of coping with insecurities on the subject, have an open discussion about the kid dilemma with your partner. The two of you need to come to an agreement on the subject, even if it is a “wait five years and see where we are at” agreement.

11 Being An Immediate Success

There is a lot of pressure on couples to become an immediate success. We have unrealistic expectations because the television shows portray well-to-do successful couples who are off and running from the start. That is not real life.

Success takes time to build and it rarely happens immediately.

Instead of worrying about whether or not you are a successful couple, how about the two of you sit down and define what you believe is successful. As soon as the two of you know what making it is, you can create a step by step plan together to create the success you both want in your lives.

It makes so much more sense to make a plan together rather than worrying about things not falling into place immediately. It is so much less stressful this way and as a couple you will be on the right track to a happy life together.

10 Being The Boring Couple

No one wants to be the boring person, and the same holds true for couples. Every couple wants to be the one that others want to hang out with. They want to be the couple other people look up to and turn to in their darkest hour. Every couple wants to be liked.

But, really, what is wrong with being the boring couple? Many people run from the idea of looking like the boring person, but how about we rephrase the situation?

Would you like to be the stable couple? From the outside, that will look boring to some people.

Would you like to be the quiet couple? While it might seem boring to others, you and your spouse probably talk it up and have a great time together when others aren't watching.

There is absolutely no need to worry about others seeing you and your partner as the boring couple. Sometimes life just feels better that way.

9 Family Approval

Does his mom really like you or is she just putting on a show? What do his brothers really think of you?

Dealing with your partner's family can be majorly stressful and it can even tear a relationship apart.

Your man might be worried about your parents not accepting him into the family. He might worry that your sister will talk you out of dating him. He might even worry that his oldest brother will say something stupid that will make you hate him.

Family can be a huge stress on a relationship. To get past it all, you and your partner will have to be strong. After all, what is more important: your relationship with your partner or appeasing family members.

Realize that you will never make every family member happy, but you and your partner can make each other happy. Drop the family drama and focus on what you have.

8 Vacations

My friend is always going on vacations with her husband. They spend about two weeks at the beach every summer. They visit a cabin up in the mountains for a week. And it always seems as though they are planning a trip to some exotic island every time I pay them a visit.

When I was in a relationship, I was jealous of them. Why couldn't my boyfriend and I do the same thing?

It took me awhile to realize that my then boyfriend and I just weren't ready to take on traveling. He probably would have been miserable traveling, even though he sometimes said he would like to go to the beach.

Seeing other couples traveling around and taking long vacations created a huge insecurity in our relationship at that time, but it really did not need to.

Couples can do other things, instead of paying oodles of money to travel. It is all about priorities and what is more important to you and your partner.

7 Not Being Happy Enough On Social Media

Oh my goodness. We all have those “friends” on Facebook that are constantly posting happy couple photos on their feed. It is unnerving and puts pressure on other couples to try and appear as ecstatically happy as them.

We all want to be happy as couples, but there is more to being in a relationship than posting fun couple pictures on the internet. In fact, some say that these happy couple posts are actually being made by people who aren't that happy in their relationship. They are just trying to cover up the problems with pictures.

A nice “together as a couple” picture is fine to post every now and again, but only if you are comfortable with it. Don't worry about what other couples are posting and live your life in real time. After all, your relationship is far more important than getting a bunch of likes on social media.

6 Commitment

Do you worry that your partner might cheat on you? Are you worried that you won't be able to stay faithful?

Commitment is one of those things that many couples secretly worry about together. There is so much temptation out there and it is so easy to slip up that it is no wonder that many couples are insecure in their commitments.

There is no way to be absolutely certain that your partner will never cheat on you. However, you can keep yourself faithful simply by making up your mind to remain in a committed relationship. If the other person gives in to temptation, then it is his loss and his mistake.

We all like to think that we are strong enough to make a commitment to another person, but we all have our doubts and weaknesses. Instead of worrying about it, simply live your life honestly with your partner.

5 Not Having Enough Time Together

There is always something that needs to get done. Aside from work, there may be kids involved, family members who need your attention due to health issues, neighbors who need your help, and so on. On top of all that, you may have a few personal goals that you are working on, such as getting into shape or starting a side business.

Everything takes up your time, and it is no different for your man.

All of this running around and doing this and that takes away the time a couple needs to spend together and reconnect with each other.

When things get super busy, it is natural for couples to worry about not spending enough time together.

The solution to this problem is an easy one. During the busy times, set aside two hours a week just to be alone together. It can't be bedtime and no one else is allowed to be there. It is a sacred time for just you and your partner to reconnect.

4 Job Loss

These are unstable times and no one's job is guaranteed. People are stressed about health insurance, being able to pay their bills, and they are counting loose change to get themselves a little something for lunch during break.

Couples are no different. Even with a combined income, they know that they are going to be hurting if either one of them loses a job. It is stressful and it can tear a couple apart.

Yes, couples worry about money and it is probably one of their top insecurities, but with a little planning, couples can reduce this worry and get back to the things that matter.

Planning ahead is the best way to face financial insecurity head on. Create a savings plan and start pinching those pennies now while you both have a job. It hurts, but if the inevitable happens and one of you loses a job, you will both be thankful for that bit of cushion until a new job can be found.

3 Keeping The Heat

Will the bedroom action always be good or will that spark die down? Is it true that sex in a long-term relationship gets boring?

Speaking from experience, the answer is a definite no as long as you and your partner fan the flame.

While many couples worry that the bedroom fun will die out over time, there are many more couples that know the secret to keeping the action fun is in adventure and exploration.

Being in a long-term relationship allows both you and your partner to really get to know each other. It also creates a safe zone for the two of you to explore different things, such as positions or dressing up.

In fact, a long-term relationship gives you and your partner the ultimate reason to explore new, daring things together that you would not do with someone new.

2 Former Relationships

A relationship can be on the right track for years and then all of a sudden something, or more specifically someone, from the past turns up.

Many couples have at least one person from the past that could show up and destroy the entire relationship. This is usually a previous boyfriend or maybe even an ex-wife.

All couples have that little fear in the back of their minds of what if. What if his ex-wife starts talking to him again and pulls him back into their old relationship? Or what if your first true love shows up? Will you be able to turn him down now that you are in a stable and loving relationship?

Most of us believe that we would be able to survive a surprise ex attack, but there are just as many cases where an ex was able to break a couple apart.

1 Losing The Love

Ultimately, every couple worries about losing the love they have for each other. Honestly, in life change is inevitable and sometimes change means falling out of love with your partner.

Couples can actively try and stop the love from dying from the start. This means that each person in the partnership is making a choice to stay with and honor the other person. It also means working at keeping the love alive.

Like a plant that needs to be watered and pruned, successful couples know that the same holds true for their relationship. Sometimes things need to get pruned away, such as hurt feelings from the past, and the love needs food to grow on.

Even though nothing lasts forever, a couple can make sure that they are happy together for the rest of their lives by giving their relationship the attention that it needs.