13 Things Americans Say That Brits Find Hilarious

How can two nations speak the same language so differently? This is a question that bemuses the British people to no end. We find some of the stuff Americans say funny, some stuff absolutely crazy. I'm sorry but it's true. But you don't need to get too worked up about it because Americans probably find the way British people speak cute and funny and ridiculous too!

Whenever a group of Brits and Americans get together this topic almost always comes up, and sometimes, strike that, pretty much all the time it leads to an argument about who's saying it right. I recommend it, it's fun! I asked my Facebook friends about American terms they find funny or weird and was surprised by the huge response, much to the dismay of my American friends might I add.

So here are some of the words we find strange and hilarious:

13 Fanny

In American English this means bum obviously. But for Brits it's a slang-term for vagina. So if you're talking about anything to do with your “fanny” (I don't know why you would be, but let's say you are), we'll automatically assume that you're talking about your front parts and not your back parts. In case you want to learn some other words we use for our lady bits, here are a few: biff, clunge, minge and lady garden.

12 Jean Jacket

You would never ever catch a British person saying this, it sounds so weird to us. It seems a bit lazy to be honest, like you don't know what it's made of… Oh it's made of the same material as jeans, let's just call it a “jean jacket”. It also sounds like you could've made a jacket out of a pair of jeans and if you picture that you know it would just look like weird. It just doesn't make sense. It's like calling a leather jacket a “leather pants jacket”. Very strange indeed.

11 Bangs

When Brits find out that this is how American people say “fringe” they will have a WTF moment for sure. For starters, it has sexual connotations i.e. “banging” somebody is another way of saying having sex of course. All of your words sound sexual to us, “bangs” and “fanny”. If a Brit doesn't know what you're referring to they probably think you're being weird. But I've just looked up the origins of the word in relation to hair and according to good old Wikipedia it refers to cutting your hair “bang-off” at the front. Knowing that, British people could probably appreciate the word a bit more.

10 Biscuit

I believe that in America a biscuit is savoury bread that looks a bit like a scone and is often served with gravy. I've never tried it but it sounds pretty delicious. If you're British and you don't know what it is then it won't sound delicious, it will sound absolutely disgusting. Because we use the word “biscuit” to mean cookie. Who would eat a cookie dipped in gravy? Someone who is intoxicated probably would but that's besides the point.

9 Band-Aid

This is one of those words that's a brand name and also the word for the actual object. In Britain we call it a “plaster”. It's pretty funny because the word “Band-Aid” would only ever be used around Christmas time referring to the “Do They Know It's Christmas?” song. It's a charity single that features popular artists of the time and has been released a few times in the UK over the years. America did something similar in the 80's with “We Are the World”. So whenever the word “Band-Aid” is mentioned it just conjures up images of U2's Bono for British people.

8 Aluminium

This one is about the pronunciation and spelling of the word rather than it's meaning. Here in Blighty we would pronounce every syllable as in “a-lu-min-i-um”, whereas Americans say and spell it “aluminum” - silly. That's not the worst of it though, what Americans call “aluminum” us Brits call “tin foil”. So on several levels the American use of “aluminum” feels very very wrong. Turns out though that this isn't just Americans being lazy as British people might think. Both variants were used by scientists when the chemical was first discovered.

7 I'm beat!

This is another thing that British people would never say in a million years. I guess it makes a bit of sense but we would just never say it, we'd instead say “I'm knackered”. Unknowing Brits would be quite concerned if you tell them you're “beat”. You'll be met with anxious looks because we might think you've been beaten up or something.

6 Herb

This is a matter of much contention for Anglo-American relations. This is the one word that causes the most arguments among Brits and Americans. It has to do with one simple, small difference: Brits pronounce the 'h' and Americans don't - gasp! It's absolutely baffling for British people, why on earth would you not pronounce the 'h' and say “erb” instead? It's just the one word Americans pronounce in this way. I'm pretty sure Americans pronounce the first letter in every other word that begins with 'h'. You don't go around saying When Arry Met Sally. So why this nonsense with “erb”?

5 Traffic Circle

My extensive research (asking people on Facebook) has informed me that there aren't that many “traffic circles” or “circles” in the US. But they are referred to as a “circle” when you come across one. Now this one I hadn't heard of before starting this list and it absolutely amazed me. We call them “roundabouts” in Britain so just calling it a “circle” sounds uber simplistic. I'm sure Brits would agree with me on this one, there's just something not right about it. Although, I suppose we don't have a problem with calling a square-shaped area a “square”. Now I'm confused.

4 Period

So Americans refer to that dot at the end of a sentence as a “period”. British people on the other hand call this piece of punctuation a “full stop”. I don't like the use of “period” because it just reminds me of lady issues. Why would you want to be reminded of that time you bleed from your fanny every month?

3 Football

This one really gets British football fans riled up. Because we own the game so it should be what we want to call it, not “soccer”. You should really try to avoid using the word “soccer” in the presence of a British person because they may just slap you. There are so many arguments that could be presented as to why football should be called “football” and not “soccer”. The sport is recognised around the world whereas nobody really gives a crap about American football apart from Americans. The funniest argument I've ever seen though is that it should be called “football” because it involves a foot and a ball. American football on the other hand mostly involves carrying something egg-shaped in your hands and therefore should be called “Handegg”.

2 Measurements

British people like to talk about the weather a lot because we're the Kings of small talk obviously. But we find it very confusing when Americans talk in terms of Fahrenheit. So if you tell me that it's 30 degrees out I will think that it's absolutely boiling when in reality it's pretty cold. Another thing, Americans talk about weight in terms of pounds like we do but we also use Stones as a measurement (14 pounds = 1 Stone). So if you tell me about somebody losing 50 pounds I will try to work out how many Stones that is and that involves quick maths (not math by the way). And who likes doing maths?

1 Rubber

This is a bonus word because it's much more likely that Americans find our use of the word “rubber” a lot stranger than we find their use of the word. Americans use the word “rubber” for a condom, whereas to Brits it means an eraser. What's on the end of a pencil? A rubber. A rubber is a key part of your stationary for school. You might hear older British people refer to a condom as a “rubber Johnny” but never just a “rubber”. Younger people mostly just use the word “Johnny” and there's no mention of rubber at all (because a rubber is what's in your pencil case not on the end of your member).