How to Ask Someone if They Like You Without Embarrassing Yourself

Figuring out how to ask someone if they like you is not as simple as it sounds. This can be embarrassing, but you can do it and save face.

There are two reasons why you learn how to ask someone if they like you. The first is because you like them and the second is because you think they like you.

But both of these reasons leave you open to quite a bit of embarrassment. If you are wrong and they don't like you, you can look foolish and if you asked because you like them and they don't reciprocate those feelings, you feel rejected.

How do you find out without that embarrassment?

Why you should ask someone if they like you

Even with these minor risks, it is always better to know than to sit around and wonder. When you want to know if someone likes you, it is easy to overthink it. You tend to overanalyze their actions and words.

Sure, you could ask their friends and read into everything they do, but the only way to truly know is by asking. So unless you want to spend the rest of the week, the year, or your life asking yourself “what if” you should ask someone if they like you.

You may even think, well, if they like me they would tell me, but are you telling them? You cannot always depend on them to take action. If you want to know if they like you, you need to take action.

How to ask someone if they like you

Now that you have realized you have to ask someone if they like you in order to truly know, it is time to learn how to ask someone if they like you.

You don't want to seem too eager, but you also don't want to seem full of yourself. So how do you ask someone if they like you?

#1 Be direct. This is the best advice I can give. If you want to know how to ask someone if they like you, just be upfront about it. Next time you're with them ask them straight up.

There is no point in beating around the bush. Being forward about it shows you are confident and that you are bold. You have no problem going for what you want. It can be out of the blue and feel a little shocking, but it works. I know it doesn't sound romantic but ripping off the metaphoric BandAid nice and fast gives you the answer now.

No more wondering for you.

#2 Share how you feel. Yes, sharing how you feel is a vulnerable thing to do, but in this case, it may just be necessary. Some people find it ridiculously hard to admit their feelings, especially before knowing how the other person feels. If this person is that scared, you may have to spill your guts first.

By doing this, not only are you showing them that you are willing to be vulnerable, but also that they can trust you and should feel more confident in sharing their feelings.

#3 Let them know your intentions. Some people may not react well to you asking if they like you because they don't know what the result will be. Does this mean you will go on a date? Does it mean you're a couple?

Preface your big ask by letting them know you have no expectations and just want to know the truth. Or, if you do want a relationship or to take things slow, just let them know so they focus on sharing how they truly feel rather than worrying about what is to come.

#4 Tell them what made you question them. Whether you like this person or not, when you are figuring out how to ask someone if they like you, consider including your observations. Let them know that certain behaviors led you to believe they may like you.

This way, no matter their answer, they can clear things up. This can help you read signs moving forward or let them know what led you to this.

#5 Ask them out. Without coming right out and asking them if they like you, you can lead into it. Ask them out for drinks or dinner. Once you are alone in a more private and romantic setting, everyone's intention may just come out naturally.

If they accept your request, that already gives you a good idea of how they feel, some people just need that little extra nudge to let it out. 

#6 Be confident. Shake off those worries. I know it feels like a ton of pressure is sitting on your shoulders, and you will be mortified if they say no, they do not like you. But, it really won't be so bad. The worst that could happen is that you feel silly for a moment or so and then you can move on.

What is worse? A moment of embarrassment or weeks, months, or years of not knowing? Nothing awful is going to happen, so just take a deep breathe and ask them.

#7 Listen. Once you ask them if they like you, let them answer. Try not to word vomit all over them. Let them collect their thoughts and share how they are feeling and their explanation.

Actually, hear them. Try not to assume or jump to conclusions. They may say they like you, but don't shut off your listening right then. They may say they aren't ready to start dating or that they need more time. And the same goes for the alternative. They may say they don't like you but are open to a date in order to learn more about you.

Let them talk and be sure to truly hear them.

#8 Text. If all else fails or you are just too freaking nervous to ask them if they like you face to face, texting is always an option. Now, it is not the most romantic. It also leaves a lot up to the imagination. Without body language and facial expressions and just reading each other's energy, things get warped and misunderstood.

Asking someone if they like you over text should really be a last resort. It sounds easier because you have the space of technology to hide your fear or embarrassment, but it leaves too many things unanswered.

#9 Remain calm. Try not to let yourself get worked up. Yes, this is a vulnerable moment for you and can potentially change things, but just relax. No matter how you ask or what their response is, this is only one moment in time. It does not define you or your life.

You can celebrate or break down later if need be, but while you are talking with this person just try to remain calm. Focus on your mission of asking them. Leave the answering up to them and move forward.

#10 Thank them for their honesty. This is a big one. Your reaction to asking someone if they like you can make or break things. If you get defensive and weird because they say they don't, then you can embarrass yourself. Owning your feelings and just being polite is your best bet here.

You don't want to ruin a friendship or behave in such a way that your entire friend group hears about it. Just let them know you appreciate them being respectful and again, move forward whichever way works best for you both.

Figuring out how to ask someone if they like you sounds scary. It is a risk for sure. But you can go into it calm, cool, and collected.