Help! I Like My Boyfriend's Best Friend!

You've formed a connection with someone! But the bad news is that you have a boyfriend… And the object of your affection is his best friend!

So you've been flirting with your boyfriend's homeboy and you think there may be something more than just a spark between the two of you. Your mind is likely racing with a million questions: is he right for you, is it worth the risk, what's ailing your current relationship to have let feelings for someone else slip in, can your boyfriend pick up on your subtle flirtatious hints? Yikes! A ton of questions with some potentially exciting, potentially scary answers!

If you're seriously thinking of running off with your boyfriend's bestie, there may be a couple of points worth considering before you do. Things can get especially tricky if you've been with your current boyfriend for a long time. You'd be smart to take some time to meditate on what you really want out of life, love, and relationships.

So what do you do when you like your boyfriend's best friend?

You know from the start that this will be a complicated scenario. But it will be even worse if you do absolutely nothing and let your crush turn into something more. So what's the right course of action?

#1 Can you outlast your crush? Take some time to consider whether this is just a crush, or if you have genuine feelings for this person. People in long-term relationships tend to get bored around the 2 or 3 year mark. This is completely normal, and in most relationships this boredom will fade, and you'll head back to being smitten as a kitten with your beau.

If you are feeling bored in your relationship and are entertaining a schoolgirl crush on your boyfriend's best friend just as something to do, or something passing, your best bet would be to wait out your crush and work on your current relationship.

However, if you think you have genuine feelings for this person and see a future with them, or you feel truly dissatisfied with your current relationship, you should seriously consider dropping out with your long-term partner and exploring some new options.

#2 Identify your relationship woes. If you're having feelings for someone else, you need to take a deep look at why. When you love someone, there is usually a connection that's formed that makes you want to be exclusive, or feel the slightest bit of healthy attachment to them. When this goes missing there is usually a solid reason behind it.

Are you simply attracted to the friend more than your partner? Is your current sex life dwindling or leaving you unfulfilled? Have you and your partner stopped communicating with one another? You'd do well to explore these issues, before simply abandoning your lover and jumping into a new relationship.

#3 Can you really leave your mate? You need to make a weighty pro/con list about your mate. If you're entertaining the idea of taking up with his best friend, you need to view it as more than just a fantasy. Remember that while this person may seem alluring or ideal right now, sooner or later reality will set in and you'll come to know his flaws and weaknesses just as you did with your current boyfriend.

You should never stay with someone if you are living in perpetual unhappiness, but always remember that if he made you happy once, odds are he can do it again, if you share the load of working on your relationship. Consider if your time together is truly worth throwing away.

#4 Break it to the friend. Odds are if you have a crush on the best friend, he's probably aware of it. In fact, he's probably flirted back and entertained thoughts of you in ways that should only be reserved for your boyfriend. At some point or another, it's best if you talk openly with the bestie about how you feel. Ask him how he feels about you and if he wants to be with you beyond just having the fantasy. If you leave your mate, you need to know that he's going to be there for you.

If you aren't planning on leaving your boyfriend, and don't wish to hurt anyone's feelings, you may simply want to approach the best friend and say that you feel like a flirtatious vibe has been going around. Tell him you want to work on your relationship and won't be engaging in any flirtation with him any longer. Practice your charm and good use of feminine wiles to get out of this conversation casually and without any awkward tension afterwards.

#5 Show him respect. Even if you are 100% positive you're going to leave your mate, whether you end up with his friend or not, you still need to show him dignity and respect. This means you shouldn't be flirting with his friend right in front of him. Other no-no's for respectful relationship behavior is not sleeping with his best friend, or having a secret rendezvous whether they are romantic or not.

You need to do all you can to be without reproach, should you break up. You'd never want him to throw in your face that'd you've been ungrateful for his love and time, or that you've been a liar or a cheat. Also remember that if you cheat on your guy with the best friend, the best friend will likely be suspicious of whether you would do the same to him. This is not a great way to start a foundation of trust in a new relationship.

#6 Decide how to approach your boyfriend if you want to break up. If you do decide to end your relationship, you need to decide the best way to approach the subject. Is he the type of guy who would respond better to simply never seeing you again? Would he want to hear about the new relationship straight from you, or from his best friend?

One of you will need to tell your boyfriend that you're together. After all, he's just been dumped. The first place he's likely to go is on a bro night with his best friend. How awkward would it be if you're there when he shows up?

#7 This will probably ruin their friendship. Odds are your current boyfriend isn't going to appreciate his best friend, whom he trusted, scooping his girlfriend out from underneath him. There will be hurt feelings and the subject of betrayal will be no stranger to your upcoming conversation. This can cause an extreme amount of emotional turmoil for all three parties involved, not to mention your collective slew of mutual friends.

#8 Bonus tip: Take the high road. If staying with your man is intolerable, while running into the arms of the best friend is too fraught with difficulties, then you can always take the high road and do neither. When your boyfriend no longer fulfills your needs, you have every right to leave. But don't go running to the best friend either, as this is sure to cause a conflict.

In this scenario, it may be better off to resist the temptation to even mention that you have a crush on your guy's best friend. And in order to keep the entire issue under wraps, put some distance between you and the two guys whom you have conflicting feelings for. Sure, you'll be single while pining for a crush, but this is a small price to pay compared to the potential complications that may arise if you pick one over the other.

Whether you choose to stay with your guy or go with his best friend or just get out of the entire situation, remember to always handle things with maturity and grace. Don't resort to cheating and causing more chaos. Instead, be honest with what you feel and do what you think is best for everyone involved.